Back in March, Lindsay Lohan filed a suit against E*Trade, claiming that the baby in the brokerage’s latest commercial was based on her life. Lohan came to this conclusion because the character’s name is Lindsay, she’s referred to as a “milk-a-holic,” and there’s a suggestion that the young one is a man-stealing tramp (she also claimed that though the name “Lohan” is never mentioned, she’s attained first name recognition. Plus, the stuff about the baby being a strung out slut). For the grave offense, Lohan demanded the spots pulled, and $100 million for the emotional distress they caused her. At the time, E*Trade said the bitch be crazy, and claimed that they used the name Lindsay because it’s “a popular baby name” and not because they were trying to insinuate that Lohan is some sort of strung out whore (baby). Now the company is defending itself via comments that have been made online about Linds, a defense I don’t really understand but can appreciate nonetheless.

Lohan is “a pot-stirring, lazy, irresponsible, disrespectful little drama queen,” the papers — filed in Nassau County Supreme Court — quote one on-line commenter as saying.

“Why does anyone want to know what this train wreck is doing?” another adds. “She is the classic child star. A little success (parents pushed her into the business) at a young age and then she thinks she’s the poo.”

“How can she pay her rent and pay for her coke?” yet another writes. “That sugarcane she’s sniffin’ doesn’t come cheap . . . ”

The huge file of clippings is being used to advance the argument that Lohan is a Californian. E-Trade is not, however, requesting a change of location to LA — they want the court fight to be switched to Manhattan, where E-Trade has its corporate headquarters.

Comments (29)

  1. Posted by Don't Care About Breasts | May 10, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    That tea-cup pinky finger never gets old.

  2. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:12 PM

    We choked on the news she would star in a feature on Linda Lovelace.
    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/dailydish/detail?entry_id=62885

    ~Woodward and Bernstein

  3. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    that pinkie has been in my anus

  4. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Would you?

  5. Posted by Mr. Awesome | May 10, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    Lindsey is also a lezbo. So i’m not sure how she is a “man stealer”.

    As I once posted. If this baby is a rug muncher and a total druggy loser then Lindsey may have a case.

    All I saw was a baby that likes dick and milk. I can’t wait to see how this case turns out. Its one of the most pressing cases of our time. I am sure it will come up at the Supreme Court nomination.

    Thank you Bess.

  6. Posted by Bait & Switch | May 10, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    No, yes, no, no, no, yes.

  7. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    In my case, it’s “Lindsey”.

    ~Lindsey Dawn McKenzie
    Girl Frantically Waving at UK Traders
    Merah
    78 Wells Street
    London W1T 3QL, United Kingdom

  8. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:28 PM

    She is no Justin Bieber.

    -Dennis “I love children and windowless vans” Kneale

  9. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:34 PM

    i’d hit that many times over. Lights optional.

    also @7 knows what’s up.

  10. Posted by Jerry Cruncher | May 10, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    NSFW? Bess, this might need a mini-Geithner over the half-nip.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:42 PM

    That eTrade baby is so hot right now.

  12. Posted by Guest | May 10, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    Referencing older posts in the current comment section is the new killing it..

  13. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    My favorite group is SoulDecision.

    There, I said it.

  14. Posted by OptionTrader | May 10, 2010 at 1:10 PM

    Would like to creampie Lindsey…The girl not the baby.

  15. Posted by HAM05 | May 10, 2010 at 1:11 PM

    wow, those tits got old

  16. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    Lindsay…oh please, try to make money by earning it. Just because somone mentions your first name does not entitle you to a big payday. If you stayed off the substances and worked hard you would not need the money.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    @14 seconded. Would do things to her I wouldn’t do to a farm animal

  18. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 1:32 PM

    I am looking forward to Georgia Rules II.

    Would still ski, motorboat and hammer… but I would backdate the trade to 2006 when telling my pals about it.

  19. Posted by Mr. Awesome | May 10, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    @14 begs the question-

    what would you do to a farm animal?

  20. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 1:42 PM

    She looks like a slut.

  21. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    @14/19

    Hardly think I can publish that here and keep this site unblocked. But, see empflix.com (NSFW) for full video/audio demonstration.
    -@18

  22. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    @20 Looks can be deceiving. In this case, they are spot on.

    @21 Thanks for the info. Only place you can view that site with ease is at the SEC or the NYC Public Library.

    @18 (the back dater)

  23. Posted by analyst | May 10, 2010 at 2:25 PM

    Being a rug muncher when you’re that hot is the new killing it….

  24. Posted by Anon | May 10, 2010 at 2:58 PM

    How hot is Lohan?

  25. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 3:27 PM

    I suggest the donkey punch….

  26. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    @24 – Very.

    - Dina Lohan

  27. Posted by Anonymous | May 10, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    nice silicone boob wrinkle……..would still hit it, though can imagine it would by like a can of peaches……..

  28. Posted by Andy F. | May 10, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    I like Lindsay LongDong. You know…the crossdresser.

  29. Posted by volatilitysmile | May 10, 2010 at 4:52 PM

    she looks like Sharon Stone’s older sister. Ugh.

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