Back in February, we put a once in a lifetime offer on the table. Buy Ken Lewis’s house. For a mere $4.5 million, you were going to get a Charlotte, NC address, 4 bedrooms, five fireplaces, a patio, a porch, a private pond for reflection time, his-and-hers dressing rooms, a chef’s kitchen, a wet bar, and Ken Lewis’s memories (/night terrors). At the time, we didn’t put a gun to anyone’s head because we didn’t think it was necessary. Who wouldn’t want a piece of this, we wondered, figuring KL would be beating off potential buyers with a stick. Well, apparently we misjudged the situation because Kizzle has received exactly zero offers, and has been forced to cut his asking price by more than 20%. He’s also slashed the price on his Hilton Head vacation space, for reasons I won’t get into here. Suffice it to say, Lewis is looking to get out of town ASAP but is running low on the cash. So what I’m going to do now is get down on my hands and knees and beg. SOMEBODY DO THIS FOR HIM. If the deal needs to be sweetened, I’ll throw in an Ang Moz (you can do whatever you want with him).
A few shots of your new pad:
Does it come with the cheese?
@2 no but two free bottles of strawberry hill have your name on them.
agreed, this guy is a total hack.
Looks like a Victorian whorehouse.
@3 did you wander in a side door and just figure you’d leave that comment anywhere? no matter the subject matter of the post?
I think its pwetty.
Bawney F.
@4 You calling Mrs. Lewis a whore?
Free the parrot.
I know two people who worked for wachovia down there and left inside of 18 months b/c the crime rate was so bad.
@7: I thought Dick Bove kept her maiden name…
@6 you would think that wouldn’t you, you fucking homo
Too bad there’s been no discussion of his run for senate…
Bess, I like you on your hands and knees, lets talk
I’m feeling really stressed today. I may have to browse some porn.
They can’t very wellshow the place, with Ken sitting there in his jammies
I am naked, today.
It looks like it was decorated by the Sugarbakers
On my 2nd interview with BofA, I was placed in a room and asked to play “Quarters” against a WM MD. I was provided one wooden nickel and a 1/5 of Crown. Needless to say, the interview moved to a local pub, where I beat said MD at XXX Hidden Picture. I got the position, and still hate it to this very day.
You got a pool over there?
We’ve got a pond in the backyard. A pool and a pond. The pond would be good for you.
That rug really ties the room together.
Bess,
I will NOT make an offer simply because I love the idea of you on your hands and knees.
- Your “not” Uncle
Classy with a capital “K”. Can’t decide which is better– the venetian blinds in the bathroom or the flat screen TV hanging over the fireplace.
@18 – you needed a second round of interviewing? You retard
@7 – I bet she has nice feet
I think they have their own private kneeler for prayer in the top picture of the whatever room that is. Lots of time riding it I’m sure over whether to call MAC or not!
I will gladly pay the new asking price from my unused spirit points (those are acceptable, right?). if the landscaper stays, I’ll throw in 200k additional magic beans.
Slow news day I guess? DB sucks so far today.
house listing: http://meckcama.co.mecklenburg.nc.us/relookup/PropertyDetailPrint.aspx?18317340
Man’s dreaming to think he can get $4.5MM, much less the new $3.6MM asking price. And that vacation house? It’s a share house. Sad, pathetic.
@19 Nanananananananaa
I should probably know the answer to this, but why would Ken Lewis even have a house in North Carolina?
@27 fuck, seriously??? it’s a slow news day??? a day with not much news?? thank you for sharing this insight with us that surely you must be paid to dispense on a daily basis! hey, if you have any other time today– and I don’t want to pull you away from sharing info with us that nobody but you could get your hands on, so just consider it– why don’t you GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN, HOSS?
KL, here’s a hint: throw in a free supply of Sweet Tea.
Bess, can I have a back rub?
$4.5, now its $3.8, he’s dreaming, it’s Charlotte NC. He paid $1.7 in 2003. God knows how much he pissed away trashing the place in 2006. Now think about what will be spent on dumpsters to clean out that place. He might be better off for tax purposes donating it to a home for wayward women.
@22 I would have to go for the faux classics next to the fireplace with the electric logs.
I believe Jed Clampett would be very interested. Is there room for Ellie May’s critters?
@23 – the correct statement is that he needed a first round of interviewing
I hope he has to short sale with Bank of America. When they disapprove his short sale, he can join one of the class action law suits like the one filed in Las Vegas, over 300 people marched to the Federal Building to protest how bad Bank of America treated them.
there is no substitute for class. or lack thereof.
~$1.5 milly at best. anything abov would be a charitable donation.