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Gird Your Loins, Jim Chanos

This Memorial Day in Bridgehampton, Kynikos founder Jim Chanos will be honored for his contributions to Miracle House, a charity “a charity that helps caregivers and patients who come to New York in search of medical treatment.” This is lovely and Jim is very generous. That’s not what we’re here to talk about. What we’re here to talk about is the host, LuAnn de Lesseps. The artist formerly known as “The Countess” is a cast member of the New York edition of Real Housewives. Except that LuAnn is no housewife, having divorced her husband, THE COUNT (pictured at left with his former lady), last year. (I’m not proud that I watch this show but I’m not embarrassed either.) LuAnn started off this season on the prowl and now she is getting desperate. Last week she went on a date with a guy named Courte who has who has highlights. She’s also looking for a place to bunk in NYC, having lost the UES townhouse in the settlement and being relegated to the Hamptons home. And, and I feel terrible for judging a reality show housewife by her cover, but I’m thinking she might be looking to land a rich guy. Finally, and most importantly, she’s trying to get her music career off the ground. Jim, we’re warning you because we care.

This chick is going to be on you like white on rice. If you’re feeling yourself get weak, our advice is to play this segment over and over in your head:

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38 Responses to “Gird Your Loins, Jim Chanos”

  1. guest says:

    I’m very discreet, but I will haunt your dreams.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Huh. I didn’t know RuPaul had a twin.

  3. Seth Green says:

    She parties at the Bro J’s in Murray Hill.

  4. Anonymous says:

    saw her out there last year CRUSHING drinks.

    – Guy who is also not proud but not embarrassed

  5. guest says:

    @3 haha really?

  6. Anonymous says:

    Girl I know says some of her guy friends (age = late 20s) met LuAnn at a club, brought her back to an apt, and partied with her til the morning. This was toward the end of her marriage.

  7. Seth Green says:

    Yeah, she was dressed as Pocahontas, hitting on some dude dressed as a cowboy. Basement near the bathrooms. Classy broad that one.

  8. guest says:

    @6 she apparently cheated on her husband a bunch with much younger guys (I think they had an open marriage though, or at least an understanding, b/c he was apparently shacking up with an ethopian princess who he left her for).

    -banker chick who is also not proud but not embarrassed

  9. white man’s overbite, I thought that went out with the 80’s. as for loose-ann, I’ve seen more animation from a dead fish. just sayin’…

  10. guest says:

    @seth green- so you’re admitting you yourself party at the MH Bro J’s?

  11. guest says:

    “Benefits” tag is a poetic touch.

  12. Anonymous says:

    @10/seth green

    got em!

  13. John McCain says:

    The black kimono says, “Let me flip this shrimp tail into the back of my wife’s dress,” but the glasses say, “I knew Jimmy Cayne. You, dear photographer, are no Jimmy Cayne.”

  14. Seth Green says:

    On occassion. Same amount of dbags as 1 Oak but you get to leave with money left in your pocket.

  15. Anonymous says:

    That’s no Count, that is Bennie Madoff, Bernie’s accomplice and half-wit, half brother who ended up with the keys to the lost $50B. Nice work, Bennie!

  16. That’s no former house-wife thats Willem Dafoe!!!!!!!! Check it, it has balls gentlemen.

    I had the privilege of attending a black-tie Haiti relief ball at with most of our NY office where I found this drag queen scampering around.

  17. Seriously says:

    Thank you for your insight, OptionsTrader.

  18. guest says:

    @17 seconded. no one gives a fuck about your made up fantasy world options douche. STFU.

  19. guest says:

    The Count looks suicidal in that pic.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Nice Toupee

  21. Anonymous says:

    @19: I’m pretty sure its only a wax statue of The Count

  22. @13 – nice try but needs work. let’s stick to the topic at hand please:

    the lace gloves say:____________; but the man size jawline says:________.

  23. Anonymous says:

    all those women are publicity seeking skanks. half of them don’t even live in Manhattan, seriously, any self respecting housewife that they are trying to portray would never be on a reality show, also aren’t like 3 of them single

  24. PermaGuest says:

    Nothing wrong w MH BroJs– scenery + $2 beers

    -resident of UES west of Lexington Ave.

  25. Anonymous says:

    If you can buy a Seersucker suit at Sears well I guess it looks like the Count has been shopping for clothes at Cox’s.

  26. Anonymous says:

    That guy looks like Dr. No.

  27. close but no cigar says:

    Jim – treat her like your stock positions

    PUMP AND DUMP!

  28. This is definitely a Star Trek convention.

  29. guest says:

    @27 you’re an idiot.

  30. Dieter Laser says:

    That guy stole my wardrobe

  31. Anonymous says:

    @15. Bennie is in jail. That’s Bernie!

  32. hope you enjoyed that says:

    @24 scenery = jappy girls from NJ/Long Island?

  33. birdstyle says:

    Luann sucked off the sous chef from Bobby Vans last winter on the street. Not the head chef, the #2 guy. Fact.

    Money can’t buy you class!

  34. Anonymous says:

    Count looks like the guy that rides the tricycle in the Saw movies

  35. Anonymous says:

    @ cluzo / 9: have you looked on a dance floor lately?

  36. c'estchic says:

    Real classy countess – singing the most cheezy song cuz you need the money!! Her ex is apparently broke and she is hanging on a thread

  37. guest says:

    thanks for giving these cunts more press.

  38. guest says:

    Why is it that these plump, sagging old skanks feel the need to parade around half naked? If they’d cover up, at least their targets could fantasize that there’s something nice underneath. And by the time the skank drags the target off to bed, he’d be too drunk to notice what’s unveiled.