As has been previously mentioned, while there is much to get excited about at the new Goldman Sachs building (a panorama that includes New York Harbor, the Sky Lobby cafeteria offers “a deep panini lineup and deadly cupcakes,” safe rooms on every floor), there is something that many GS employees are not enthused about at all. And that’s seeing each others’ asses, etc, in the company steam room. Today we have yet another complaint from the inside, again related to an aversion to being grossed out by each others’ bodies. An anonymous Mistress of the Universe writes:
I like my gyms in basement lairs, though; the better not to be seen as I pant and sweat. Using the Goldman gym was awkward enough – they give out uniforms, and it’s kind of strange to see your managing director on the elliptical next to you in a pair of grey cotton gym shorts – that I ultimately got a membership at a more, um, diverse place. But now, it’s even weirder – you access the gym by a huge spiral staircase that lets off at a huge spiral set of sliding glass doors. It feels like something out of minority report. Right behind those doors are already people working out in plain view, and it creeped me out so much to see people essentially riding exercise bikes while looking straight at me through a glass wall that I turned on my heel and fled back upstairs.
With so much in plain sight it begs the question – can we verify that Lloyd is indeed, as posited by BL, sporting a gold man-sack?
How horny does all of this sweaty man sack talk make you, Bess?
GOLDEN BALL SACKS
@2 Bess doesn’t get horny, she gets laid
Just 5 minutes in the steamer with Lloyd is enough to make this lady-boy quiver.
- SEC Director
viva la ball sweat!
Lloyd has a nasty rat tail.
“and it creeped me out so much to see people essentially riding exercise bikes while looking straight at me through a glass wall that I turned on my heel and fled back upstairs”
That’s because you’re a fatty-have another cupcake, you’ll feel better hon-
Oh – “spiral” glass doors ? uh no…….
7:01 AM – Steam Room Scene – Goldman Sachs 200 West St
Lloyd engages the ‘transparent’ steam door by gently nudging it open. He is garmented in an elongated greek-designed Areimanion forest black robe with golden emblems on the sides. His presence cools in and thereby silences all discussions of Spanish rating agencies. A few Junior Analysts scurry out in trembling angst.
Lloyd steps with each foot in succession with confidence across each VP until he sees wise Skeletor. “sit”, says the former Treasury Secretary. Lloyd sits and removes his black vestment. A quiet hush circulates through the steam room. Lloyd spreads his legs in relaxation. All eyes focus on the robe unsheathing. “Is it true”, mutters an excited Junior Trader. The gold covered balls reveal themselves, impetuously piercing the retina of everyone in the steam room. An Associate IB for Europe M&A ejaculates. A bond desk issuer for foreign governments ejaculates. Suddenly the room is ejaculating like the Bellagio water springs.
7:45am – Building-wide e-mail at 200 West St at World Financial Center -
Due to certain circumstances all steam facilities will be closed until further notice. Please note the lunch menu for today will be changed to clam chowder. Let us know if you have any questions
Thanks,
Building SIC
what are naketshort’s thoughts on this topic
I AM SO THERE.
-pj
9 – Would’ve been great until you fucked up the WFC reference. The building is separate from 1, 2, 3, 4, & NYMEX.
Bess,
Looks like you now have a reason to get an MBA
- 200 West Personal Trainer
@9 FTW
@9 – just sprayed coffee all over my screen, you made my day. Clam Chowder FTW.
- 1
@9 Nice *ejaculates*
sorry, what is FTW?
I guess she takes cabs everywhere. Otherwise she may encounter a cyclist actually pedalling and need to take a five block detour.
@10 nakeDshort’s thoughts are naughty as opposed to your display of obvious lack of thought process. must be taking looong showers, you, munchkin, you.
cotton gym shorts? who the fuck works out in those anymore (except for Gasbag). Ever heard of dri fit or under armour. Get with it GS. Hacks.
@7 – Rat tail or happy trail?
@17 – “Free The Whales” – so in the context of #15′s post, he’s implying that increased consumption of clam chowder, decreases consumption of whale meat (they are considered substitutes), in turn decreases the % of whales killed per year. Hope this helps, please let us know if you have any further questions.
-DB Client Service Intern
@22. RPFVPS
It makes me ill to think of all those flabby, pasty white bodies in the Goldman gym
@22 – I’ve always understood it to mean Free The Wildebeests, but I see now that that wouldn’t make any sense whatsoever. Duh.
Thanks for setting me straight.
I would be happy to Lloyd’s sack. Is there room for a JPM guy in the sauna ? I know Lucas swings on his sack but just a peek would be nice.
@17 – FTW = for the win. It’s an acronym used commonly in online gaming and on forums related thereto.