My dear friend and former colleague John Carney will be joining CNBC.com as a “senior editor” in the coming weeks and will also be “appearing regularly on CNBC’s Business Day programming.” Over the last few years John has been on the network as guest commentator but now that he’s an official member of the team, one very important thing needs to happen. It goes without saying but here it is: a nickname. Maria’s got one, Erin’s got one, Phil LeBeau’s got one and now Carney needs one too. If he’s gonna do this, he’s gotta do this right. I know what my pick is but let’s get democratic about this. Serious suggestions only, please.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
CNBC, is that supposed to be moving up on the food chain?
THE KICKER!
The Lithp
the Gimp
@1 it’s a step up from Business Insider, but that’s not saying much…
how about ‘sellout’ or ‘the sellout’?
Straight Cash
- The Splooge
douchenozzle
-Wildcard bitches!
Who the fuck watches CNBC? Seekingalpha is good.
“Danyow” AKA Giovanni Ribisi playing a ratard in The Other Sister
“My dear friend and former colleague..”
Bess, Martha Stewart couldn’t have written a sappier post if she was on estrogen pills, downing chocolate covered ice cream and sipping a glass of chilled sauv blanc.
Lay off nostalgic posts please, for the sake of us all.
@11 I hope you burn for your stupidity.
The Plum Smuggler
@11 wait, are you serious? you thought a line in a post in which BL is literally serving up carney to be destroyed by the commenters was written in anything but jest? wow.
He looks like one of those Martians from the movie “Mars Attacks”. I suggest “Ack-Ack”.
@11 epic fucking fail. detection of (dripping) sarcasm is required when reading BL/DB.
Money Donkey
@11 how does it feel to be the biggest fucking idiot on earth? good/bad?
There can only be one.
I wish him all the best, he’s a very rice guy.
@19 haha, nice.
Where’s Lindasy? Isnt’t that Carney coming out of a club at 6am?
Lon Varney.
The Circus Carny
Banal_yst
Tits McGee?
Mongo. Forehead the size of a drive-in movie theatre, but he’s a good shit so we dont bust his chops too much.
The Carnivore
or however how the hell you spell her name
-21
“Paddy O’ Rice”
“Chile”, as in “Chile Con Carne”
16 FTW
or
the Stock Cock
So Much Awesome
-you know who
RON BLARNEY. Done, no more suggestions.
DJ Jameson
dear god that picture is frightening. His upper lip looks completely immobile and he’s got the crazy eyes. Who the hell would put that man on television, besides Chris Hansen, addressing him with the phrase: “So what are you doing here, John?” with a gesture toward a pack of lambskins and a four pack of Jack Daniels’ down home punch.
Poor old Carney. Now anytime Bess gets a scoop on the Druries or Michy-Lou or other talking heads at CNBC, those folk are going to glare at Carney like an electricity trader at his risk manager.
Johnny Carnage.
Done and Done
Carney Asada
the Stock Cock
Clammy O’Flop-sweat
Idiot. I mean:
“Chili, as in “Chili Con Carne”
Mars Attacks reference image:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_c6jzqEE7E1o/Sky5V476JCI/AAAAAAAAADA/LB–YoiODW4/s400/Mars+Attacks.jpg
~The Reference Guy
Cash Kouwe
Rice Pudding
Legal Beagle
@36 you mean all the scoops bl got that were subsequently jacked from DB and reported as an exclusive on business insider? I dont think anyone at CNBC will be laboring under the impression carney’s feeding bess stories.
Chart Shart
“Tabasco Scrote”
@40 “Clammy O’Flop-sweat”
made me laugh
Cheetah Bait
@26 maybe he’ll cry himself to sleep on his humongous pillow (said w/ a Scottish accent)
dollar douche
@44: “Dealbreaker” is one word. Use “D” instead of “DB” please.
~Wall Street Journal Style Editor
I’m a classics guy so it has to be Ron Blarney. But “Clammy O’Flop-sweat” is hilarious. Props.
The Dope from Park Slope
cum dumpster
-SAC
I’m with @18
One step closer to Erin Burnett’s bosom.
:(
His philtrum is longer and wider than Maria’s backside. How about something easy to remember, like Asshat?
I have the best name for him; unfortunately it’s not a serious one.
- P.D. Fermat
@56 hahahahaha. EB wouldn’t fuck him with Cramer’s dick.
Bess, you can call me Daddy.
-JCarnivore
my top picks:
1) ron blarney
2) lon varney
3) don klarney
@18. done and done.
Bag O’ Dicks.
What happened to his upper lip? Did he eat it by mistake?
Is Carney a prolific Swordsman?
Barker
John “The Truth” Carney
Phyllis
i dont get @18
The Stalker or Stalker John
the Carnivore…….Carnastic the Great
@64 It’s called dogface
FFR
Face For Radio.
@69 if you don’t get 18 you need to GTFO.
Face for Radio, Voice for Blogs
Pecker Breath
John “Collect Call” Carney.
The Carney you love to hate?
small hands, smell of cabbage?
Bess’ Btch?
@74 = little, yellow, different. fag
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/04/fed-cuts-25-basis-points-update/
Flounder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jaWPQ3Z7FE
Bess’s Bitch
@79 nah. Just no tolerance for idiots who just started reading here. (You need to have been reading for at least 2 yrs to get the RB joke)
@83 Bess’s Bitch is priceless
@10 go choke on one.
Will CNBC pay to get his teeth whitened?
78 stole my thunder…
The did it all for the CNBC Nookie, Rookie
-ex 83
Is D(B) penetrating the CNBC ranks via the backdoor? Is Blarney going to unsheath & unleash his sword for the benefit of the financial community?
Drinky
the dungeon master.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120486500666119109.html
But at the risk of sounding like a geek and a curmudgeon at once, in my day we did it the old-fashioned way. In all likelihood we were in somebody’s basement, sitting around a table with our dice at the ready and our character sheets in front of us. My brother John was the dungeon master, and he was a good one, too. My brothers — Mike and Tim — and I, along with our friends Chris and John (I’ll withhold their last names to protect their reputations), spent hours at a time exploring a world that existed only in our imaginations. D&D was, after all, much more like old-time storytelling than the videogames that have come after it. The game allowed our little troupe to star in some of the greatest stories we ever told. For that we owe Gary Gygax our gratitude.
just when you thought CNBC couldn’t get anymore irrelevant….
“Bridgewater Mime”
PS/ the picture!?!? – what are the odds he attempts to board commercial to tel aviv looking like this just to get off?
J to the C on C N B C
or JCNBC
The Haggis Torpedo?
the probe
-ray dal
@84 = sad
FRANCIS
Gorlap, The Mole Sphincter
97 = fin.yah
Gollum
The Narrator
Bess please use @9′s suggestion “Danyow”, pure brilliance
@26- fivehead would also work, no?
- No 9, but envious of his creativity
HAHAHAHAHAHA…OOOOOOO.AHAHAHAH….NO CACA?…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
The Grill.
Bon Quarney
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/04/keep-on-predicting-what-the-fed-will-do-because-ron-wouldve-wanted-it-that-way/#more-13009
whore
@90: you think Bess wasn’t on it at the time? http://dealbreaker.com/2008/03/getting-you-the-bonus-you-deserve/
The Bond Vagilante
How about we just call him, Apthorp.
it’s too long for a nickname but something that captures the essence of:
“I was drinking on a rooftop last night with a bunch of merrill bankers. the air was as hot as the vodka in our martinis was cold. one of the guys, an MD, said to me that he had a deep dark secret about Merrill’s books that he wanted to get off his chest, and that he’d be waiting for a drunk financial blogger to come along to let it out on. he said to me ‘johnny, i saw you in the corner, slurring your words, and i knew you were my man.’”
Not Bess Levin
@110 I don’t get it. Explain pls.
@112 it should be “he’s no bess levin”
Is he a Cum Laude?
Madman
I liked the Clammy O’Flop-sweat one. I think it is fun to say.
I did not like the Mole Sphincter one. That is not fun to say.
“JC2″
I go it!
SCOOBY DOO
shelleysheart
http://www.businessinsider.com/author/john-carney
GE Johnny
The Gossipotamus
Bloggy O’Fail
@111 how is that too long for a nickname?
@ 76
Pecker Breaf?
i’d be willing to bet blarneys life savings that he isn’t shaking his weight at this post. LOOSEN THE NOOSE
@122 – lol
Carneyasparino
to clarify @125 i believe he’s masturbating to this post
Open Hole.
-PJ
@122 FTW
MEEP MEEP MEEEP
ACK ACK ACK ACK!
MEEP MEEP MEEEEP!
-Argument between Kneale and O’Floppy
AMARI TARD
The New Jersey Jackhammer !
Pat Buchanan Jr.
I strongly agree with the title of this post.
-guest
Bon Quiqui
slapdick
@39 FTW Nothing tastier than a Carne Asada
Pig Vomit
FUCKING SELLOUT!!!
Fart Simpson?
The Scottish Bum-Face?
Loose Lip (no s, singular)
Amanda Drury’s PayPal
The Douchepocalypse
Carnac the Magnificent?
(The guy who Johnny Carson used to play)
@ 141 – you’re just f’cking jealous. Get over your issues.
My vote goes to Chart Shart @46; absolute gold. God bless us every one.
john “the guy who blogged the weekend before lehman failed when no one else worked and took that ticket all the way to the shit show that caused lehman to fail and we hope makes it fail too” carney
John Carnegistan
Dick CircusFreak
Literally.
Former Secretary of State Warren Christopher, the cat.
“the least successful sibling”
-john’s mom
@152 haha. mean but good.
Private Pyle
@132 awesome
can’t we just call him KEITH HAHN
“Gundlach’s Battery Boy”
@50 I enjoyed that
Shameus MacBlogsuc
The Dollar Dong
Hassen Bin Sober
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/revolving_door/john_carney_wants_to_make_cnbccom_a_disruptive_force_161370.asp
J. (O and) C.
Name
Carn Dog
The load that should have been swallowed
I just heard that Carney is going to CNBC!
~AIG Quant
@146: Fuck you asshole. Carney used to make his mark here by ripping on mainstream journalism, now he’s joining it!!!???
I had no problems with him leaving to another blog. But to join those mainstream, quasi US Govt/Fed mouthpieces at CNBC, is a fucking sellout move.
The only worthwhile on that ship is Rick Santelli.
Maria’s tampon
Carney the Clueless ?
Carney folk
Cousin?
Erin’s lover (ha,you love that John,right?)
“Blodget-can-suck-it!”
Farva
The “Yuan Yawn”
Loot Sloot
Paul Giamatti
The Czechoslovakian Meat Hanger
If David Faber’s nickname is “The Brain” then Carney is “The Skull”
I believe we need a poll to decide between Rob Blarney,
Clammy O’Flop-sweat and The Gossipotamus.
Ol’ Lazy Eye
stock cock
I’ll call him whatever he wants if he can get Kudlow back on the sauce.
@168 Do you really consider CNBC “mainstream”? They have like, what, 28 viewers? The only idiots who really watch it with the sound on are a bunch of retail “traders” spinning their Ameritrade accounts.
Wall Street Meat! (Or Street Meat for short)
Chili Con Carney
Ron Blarney, Don Klarney or Lon Varney, clearly.
Carney, Small Hands.
John BOB
So CNBC can have the show named after Dennis Kneale’s favorite pastime:
KNEALE & BOB
Tweet McSwampass