As you undoubtedly know by now, during the course of his preparation for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, Shia LaBeouf became a master trader. He worked with the guys at Encino Charles Schwab office, Citi and John Thomas Financial, he turned $20,000 into almost half a mill, he’s thisclose to becoming a Chartered Financial Analyst and he knows exactly what it takes to get hired at Goldman Sachs. He’s spoken of his pedigree many, many times, under the guise of promoting the movie all the while communicating to Wall Street that there’s a new Josh Birnbaum in town and so far, things have been coming together quite nicely. He has offers coming out the ass, he senses that Lloyd is just waiting for the right moment to can Viniar and offer him the gig and re: Shia LaBeouf Capital Management, all I’m going to say is that it’s been communicated from Stamford that the seed money is there for the taking. And up until this point, the plan has gone off without a hitch, because his co-star, Josh Brolin, has kept his trap shut. You see, kids, because he achieved none of the theatrical success young Shia did at an early age, brolin had to start day trading in order to pay the bills. He achieved a tiny modicum of success but nothing like LaB. Did he trade on his cell phone? No! Did he have Bloomberg on speed-dial? No! And yet this prick is now going around telling people how fucking great he is at making it rain.
Brolin sees some irony in his “Wall Street” role as a financial baron whose mantra on money is: “More.” He freed himself from having to sign on to so-so movie roles for a paycheck by investing on a smaller scale, as a day trader.
“I got very, very disciplined and very good at it, and then, right when I didn’t need the money anymore, suddenly I started making money in films,” Brolin said.
And you want to know the worst part? People are buying it! When Jim Chanos was interviewed for the New York Observer, he said: “I had a very interesting dinner with Josh Brolin, who is a very interested in investing, and we had a very good conversation about different long and short ideas, and he’s someone who definitely knows how to manage his own money. We had a very sophisticated and relatively high-level discussion about Wall Street, which was a pleasant surprise.”
Fucking charlatan this guy Brolin is! What the in name of Ping Jiang’s favorite whiteboard marker does Josh Brolin know about trading, ‘Beouf would like to know? Compared to SLCM’s future founder, he don’t know shit, and with three months left to promote this movie in which someone is going to try and steal some thunder, this little problem is gonna get dealt with, tonight.