Testing Jamie Dimon’s Cougar Knowledge

Jamie and The (Booty) Hunter

Last night at the Robin Hood Foundation’s annual gala, Jimmy Fallon appeared on stage wearing a cowboy hat, and in a Southern accent, sang an original song entitled “Cougar Huntin’.” Apparently it was funny and references to the group of 40+ year old women who seek out younger men to use as their sex toys then became the go-to joke for the rest of the night.

Even JPMorgan Chase & Co. Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon, the gala’s co-chair, went with the flow before speaking to the audience about the need to support Robin Hood. “Jimmy Fallon, I know you’re hunting for a cougar, but I’m going home with one tonight — my wife who’s out there somewhere. So good luck in your hunting,” Dimon said.

I don’t think I have to tell you that 9 times out of 10 we wouldn’t even dream of questioning Jamie Dimon’s expertise on anything. But in this one instance, we must ask– when JD called his wife Judy a cougar, did he do so:

a) knowing exactly what a cougar is, i.e. making a “joke” that his leading lady hunts bars looking for younger dudes to bang

b) thinking it just means a 40+ year old hot woman (which you can see, Judy Dimon certainly is), the age of her conquest being irrelevant (J and J met at Harvard Business School and are presumably around-ish the same age)

c) implying that he’s much younger than his wife (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself, in all seriousness, “James Dimon doesn’t look a day over 30″)

d) you tell us

(hidden for your protection)
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44 Responses to “Testing Jamie Dimon’s Cougar Knowledge”

  1. guest says:

    I’m going with “A”!

    — The Cukold

  2. Anonymous says:

    Not bad for a CEO; I’m sure that comment cost him some $$$

  3. Anonymous says:


  4. Anonymous says:

    all of the above

  5. Anonymous says:

    lloyd must be jealous.

  6. Anonymous says:

    @5 – jealous of the luscious head of hair on JD or his wife?

  7. Anonymous says:

    he could be married to an actual mountain cat

  8. JerseyShorePatrol says:

    d. Needs to go down to The Shore more often.

  9. Bess Levin says:

    @7 I dig you.

    @5 of the fact that JD can make a joke like this (could clown face the president, and so on and so forth) and not get shit for it?

  10. guest says:

    Hes the king of cool this cat. wife is smokin hot as well, some people have it all.

    Blankfein couldnt hold this guys umbrella

  11. b – Their audience had a collective “I don’t think that word means what you think it means” moment.

  12. He’s married to a Liz Lemon look-alike?

  13. “Def A”

    – Dimon’s pool boy

  14. Anonymous says:

    He ought to see what I bring home at night

    – Stevie the C. (meow)

  15. @13 – You were speaking to Uma last night?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Kimball(er) pulls in so many chicks he calls his home the Slaughterhouse

  17. Yo Me says:

    def B.
    he didnt have time to go to urban dictionary

  18. Its “d”.

    The obvious explanation is that JD’s competitor, LB, would not be able to make the same comment/joke without the audience rolling their eyes in disbelief. He was tweaking LB.

  19. Bess Levin says:

    @14 I appreciate you.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Bess, how much would a night alone with JD be worth to you?

    -Robert Redford

  21. Jamie, keep your hands where we can see them.

  22. d) He mistook “cougar” as referring to any aggressive pussy. [Whip crack] Meredith Whitney announces she is long JPM.

  23. Perkins Maxwell says:

    Bess@9: Because JD’s got a cougar in the bedroom at home and LB, golden scrot and all, has got a manatee?

  24. Anonymous says:

    i bet she has nice feet

  25. Anonymous says:


    Is Lloyd married to a panther?

  26. Anonymous says:

    D. Mrs. Dimon went to the University of Houston.

  27. Anonymous says:

    @19 And I like when you rub my butt (purr).

  28. Maxine Waters says:

    Was he stoned? Either it was a bad joke or he had no idea what he was saying

  29. JerseyShorePatrol says:

    Do not confuse “cougar” with “puma”!

  30. Anonymous says:

    Jaime – now seeing your babe I suggest dyeing the gray, make Grecian your friend.

  31. guest says:

    d) the mic cut out on him mid-sentence
    ” … I’m going home with one tonight [but don’t tell] my wife, who’s out there somewhere.”


  32. Anonymous says:

    Will this be on the Series 7?

  33. Anon says:

    @24 – totally.

  34. Mr. Awesome says:

    She sat down next to me at T-Bar and asked me if I ever saw the movie The Graduate?

    Lucky for her I had…

  35. guest says:

    @24 and @33 – that is so weird. What does that even mean? Who says that?

  36. Anonymous says:

    yes, yes

  37. jamie dimon says:

    My wife is really hot but I admit to be curious about seeing Lloyd naked. Is it wrong?

  38. Lloyd B says:

    Jamie, I’ve had your wife, she’s not so hot. Bess is much hotter. By the way, anytime you really want to see me just call Lucas

  39. fatguylittlecoat says:

    Bess, I am so jealous…

    -The Gerbil, Chicago

  40. fatguylittlecoat says:

    @24 nice feet? pls explain

  41. @24 nice feet? pls explain
    Oops…forgot to say great post! Looking forward to your next one.

  42. Anonymous says:

    maybe he mistook “cougar” for “tigress”… I do it all the time

  43. Anonymous says:

    Would destroy Judy

  44. guest says:

    @36 I smiled.