First off, let it be known that I don’t think LB should or will go anywhere. Nevertheless there are some people, some haters, talking about that very possibility. Dick Bové said it a couple weeks ago but she was on the rag at the time and not to be taken seriously. Now there’s a story out today, hopefully based on vicious lies, that there are people within in Goldman Sachs– the same people who gave Lloyd a standing ovation the other day for beating Ginger the resident chicken at tic-tac-toe– who are daring to speak of a day in which LB’s golden scrot and shining pate do not run shit at 200 West.
They’re traitorous shrews, of course, who have no idea what they’re talking about but just for yuks, we’ll play their little game. So, in this messed up scenario in which LB leaves the building, who takes the reigns? I love him dearly and know for a fact he’s waiting for the call, but this is not happening for Corzine. The only possibilities that come to mind are Jay-Z (he’s already a client, no one could hate GS with J in charge, and he also fancies himself quite the business guru), Maxine Waters and Lucas van Praag (at the moment we’re only getting his restrained, abridged pearls of wisdom. Imagine a world in which he was uncensored). Now you go. Serious suggestions only please.
The Etrade baby, baby.
-The Etrade baby
I vote for Jeff Macke.
Neil Patrick Harris. He can do anything.
The Chairman of Lebeouf capital.
serious suggestions?
bess levin, dick fuld, or that “guest” character who keeps commenting on this website.
This guy knows a lot. I think he’d do a good job. He’s no Elizabeth Warren but he “gets it” as Jeff Skilling used to say.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh8wYOXBYU0
God. (It’s about time he start doing his own work.)
Big Earn McCracken
The Texas delegation to Dealbreaker nominates Kinky Friedman. He’s jewish, articulate, connected and known for his common sense. Plus, he is kind to unwanted animals.
Thain? Cohn? Whitehead!
Like 5 says – You, Bess. I know you’re dying for us to say it, so you should take over, you big swinging clitoris
Too late for that. Titanic is sinking and doesnt need a new captain.
carl f*&king levin?
Thomas Guerrero (Professor)
Thaddeus Quincy Cockburn
The correct answer is none other than our good friend Charlie Gasparino, who aside from his deep knowledge of the financial world, would be able to show the pansy boys at Goldman how to put their new gym to good use.
BSC = Big Swinging Clitoris? WTF???? No wonder the ladies won’t take my memos about Bear Stearns (in initialed form) !!
~The Forehead Slapper
TGFD
they need to pull someone from the investment banking side of the firm to emphasize client relationships
Heller, Schwartz, Salame.
Izzy Ealet.
The answer is obvious. If CG The Thug is not available, Timmy Geithner should succeed LB.
Drury – and her to co-heads of banking. Boom.
Jamie Dimon would make a good Chairman & CEO of the combined bank.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
@25 – fuck off.
Lenny Dykstra. No other suggestions necessary.
On second thought, the guy who runs the Guerrero Institute (or whatever the hell its called) should succeed LB. CG is second choice. Timmah third.
Mike Morgan, obviously.
Is nobody else immensely troubled by the comments on WSJ? “Goldman MUST BE SHUTDOWN,” “Every employee should be lined up and shot,” etc. I don’t think child molesters are as detested at this point
Louis Cypher, CFA
Zacharia Kouwe
Cramer. Fucking Jim Cramer
@30 no actually they are as detested. Hey thats a great hiring pool for the future CEO…
Nice work @30
Jeffrey Chiang?
Ashley Dupre & Lindsay Lohan as co-heads.
Lou Pai?
Well only a man can run Goldman so Roubinni is out. It must be either Meredith Whitney or Sallie Krawcheck.
Bernie Madoff, from prison.
Getting John Paulson to realize that $12B is enough and to run Goldman for free would be a coup
Bess Levin is my pick.
Chris Theoharris?
I nominate Mitch Cumstein as Jeff Macke.
@30, I believe there’s one reader that goes by the name Peter Marlow that responds to virtually every single GS article and ends it with, “Goldman Sachs must be SHUT DOWN.” You could probably make a decent buck betting that he’s going to make an appearance on the comments section of any article that berates GS.
I hear Ken Griffin is interested in running an investment bank
@45 he’s on the phones trying to get the financing to buy GS as we speak.
Elliot Spitzer and Ashley Dupre
Charlie Kelly. I’m surprised nobody suggested him so far.
Anal_yst, because he has a lot of thoughts.
DYKSTRA
@19 serious answers please. Back to Above the Law with you. C’mon!
The horse ghost of barbaro
Jerry Lewis
-The Frenchman
What’s this about GS going private?
Anybody will do, so long as they are not Canadian.
I think one really needs a strong indifference to human suffering to do the job-
Nancy Pelosi or Max Zorin
@36 – hehehe Dupre, Lohan and head in the same sentence, I applaud your work
The Welsh.
Rick Santelli and the Wolfman as co-CEOs.
Kouwe.
Sarah Bernett
Rahm. Shorten up the pipeline.
Vultures. It’s obvious.
Dracula should lead the vampire squid, clearly
chuck norris
CHOMPERS
I’d do at least two-thirds as well for one-half his pay.
Run the numbers on that proposition, Viniar.
Maxine Waters. Ticks every box.
Oprah. She would stop the protests.
Edward Cardinal Egan, so they can continue to do God’s work
That OptionTrader commenter guy. He seems extremely level headed and sane.
A committee of Underpants Gnomes.
@70– ahhhh, I think you meant Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, right?
SPODE
Matt Taibbi
Sheila Bair
Dick Cheney
the hamburglar
because even though he steals, he’s still so luvable! amirite?
SPODE! Where the hell ya been ya stupid sonofabitch!
@73 Both, as co-presidents.
Someone who has expertise managing large, complex operations, a person of unquestioned integrity, unparalleled experience in trading operations, and someone who can withstand intense media scrutiny without breaking a sweat – Hillary Clinton.
Tax Chick, and his big swinging dick!
naked short, hands down as no bridge capital buffer required
Gold Man (he’s the cousin of Green Man).
@79 I was suggesting SPODE as a replacement, apols for any confusion.
-74
PS also, just thinking “outside the spoon” here, a fractal self-replicating elf machine might make a good replacement, too.
@84 Hell fuck yes!
@78 guffawing….really good
Cant do… I have to concentrate on my 12 billion and how the Street is trying to separate me from it….not gonna get it..
Pat McGroyne
@89 or Phil McCracken
Bernanke or Geithner so we can end all the pretense
Faisal Shahzad or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Goldman needs new blood.
@92 burn
Martin Brodeur.
1. Rick James
2. Ping Jiang
vinny del negro
@94/Pfluger mean but not bad.
aaron ross sorkin, that ole slapdick
Jeffrey Chiang, because he’s a doucebag and would be a perfect fit for GS.
Warren Buffet: a) Because he already owns a chunk of GS; b) because if you think Lucas is dispensing pearls of wisdom now, Bess, wait until you get his take on Buffet’s folksy little nuggets of sexual wisdom.
steve berkenfeld
Submitted by SB , the sole member of the Steve Berkenfeld fan club
Anybody BUT Donald Trump. Because of his management style,GSachs could have filed for bankruptcy 2 years ago.
@65, you beat me to it! Chuck Norris is the man! “There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. Just another fist!”
@103 JFK got shot…did you hear?
dick fuld
“Sir” Alan Stanford
Dr. Mark Klein, MD
Robin Katz, but only if she agrees to wear a tube top at any Senate hearings.
ROBERT KAPLAN, EX VICE CHAIRMEN AT GOLDMAN SACHS,
ME!!! wtf…IM A MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
I believe in Harvey Dent…