Tony Hayward hasn’t actually resigned yet but at the present he’s not in so good with the Prez and a li’l accident– a blip, really– did go down on his watch. Reuters already has a list of fill-ins prepared in the event Big T involuntarily resigns. It includes Andy Inglis (head of BP’s core exploration and production division), Iain Conn (the head of BP’s refining and marketing unit), and Bob Dudley (a “Managing Director” with responsibility for oversight of the Americas and Asia).
But we’re thinking this might be the sort of thing that calls for not just an outsider who didn’t work at the company at the time of the event that dare not speak its name but also an outside the box candidate. Names that come to mind include the Alia Sabur (the Long Island genius who says she figured out how to fix the leak in a matter of minutes), Lenny Dykstra (who knows from shit and could just be so wrong he’s actually right), Lloyd Blankfein (who most likely orchestrated the “slip up” as a diversionary tactic), and Jack Welch (who’s begging for it). Other suggestions welcome.
Debrahlee Lorenzana?
Cliff Claven
Brian Hunter
NPH
Bob Steele
Jeff Gundlach – expert in hole plugging devices.
The Gay Banker… He knows how to drill deep and not get covered in sticky shit.
Co-CEO team of Greg Michaels and Zach Kouwe
Bess Levin
Either Longfellow Deeds or Billy Madison.
Barney Fwank’s Proctologist
Anyone think Tony H. and Timmy G. could be distantly related?
he knew it was a sh!tty cement job
Appoint Dr. Evil and rename it Virtucon
Barrack Obama could run BP and give the company to the UAW
Mr Burns and/or Smithers
Elmo would put a nice face on the company.
can’t Amanda Boobery get down there and shove one of her ta-ta’s in the crack?
Dubya Bush – he know a thing or two about oil
Now that the auto industry CEOS, Goldman, and BP have all endured their public flogging at the hands of clueless Washington politicians, I wonder when the health insurance industry CEOs will be summoned to the star chamber. They’re up next.
Kumi Naidoo
shamwow guy, he knows how to handle spills
Kach Zouwe
Billy Mays….too soon?
Professor Plum, in the conservatory, with the lead pipe
Michael Moore.
The head of my Co-Op board
Brian Hunter. Didn’t he just do a career trade?
A.B.T.H.
Ms. Michaels
Wu-Tang Clan in a collaborative effort.
@7, Lord Browne already had his opportunity
Anyone with a CFA.
@24 FTW
Daniel Day Lewis. Then he can take care of the political evangelicals in Administration with a bowling pin.
@7 best of the day
my vote is for Gary Coleman’s ex. She’s a problem solver… too soon?
33 FTW
@33 I’ll pass, thanks.
Mchael Vick. He’s the only guy in America who would be admired more than he currently is for associating with BP.