Don't let the smile deceive you-- he's not happy about this.

Time was, if you worked at Citi, one of the “perks” of the job was that you could let loose over email in ways other banks had already put the kibosh on. The big C may not pay the most, it may offer little to no prestige, and it definitely lost some fans when the “no catching a beej on the corporate jet” rule was enforced but inappropriate emails? Oh, that was something employees hung onto with pride. You wanted to have a rousing discussion about the best stall in which to JO&C? The mood struck Vikram to have a back and forth with Prince Alwaleed about a certain naughty hawk? Someone was wondering about the physics behind inserting a whiteboard marker in an underling’s rectum? You found yourself dialoguing about Lenny Dykstra about setting up a time for your call and things suddenly got…weird? That was okay!

No longer. Because someone presumably took things a little too far (best guesses as to who ruined it for everyone welcome), Citi is putting its foot down. As employees have until July 17 to lock it up, we suggest making the most of the next 26 days.

From: Compliance Training
Sent: Thursday, June 17, 2010 6:00 PM
To: Citi Employees
Subject: URGENT TRAINING REQUEST FROM CYNTHIA ARMINE, CHIEF COMPLIANCE OFFICER

*** PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS EMAIL ***

Recent headlines involving inappropriate e-mails are an important reminder to “think before writing, read before sending” lessons of the past scandals affecting the financial services business. To this end, employees are required to take a ten minute online training program titled Improper Electronic Communications briefing the do’s and don’ts of electronic communications.

You must review the course by 7/17/2010. Instructions to complete the training can be found below.

This course will also automatically count toward Firm Element Training credit for any client facing registered representatives.

Thank you,

Cynthia Armine
Chief Compliance Officer

———————————-
Instructions on accessing courses in the GLMS
NOTE:
1. You must use Internet Explorer. Any other internet browser such as Firefox, Opera, Chrome, etc., will NOT work.
2. Please note that this training does NOT contain audio.

Click on the link below to access the GLMS. It will take you immediately to the GLMS sign-on screen where you must enter your SOEID (branch ID for former Smith Barney employees) and single sign on password http://training.citigroup.net/sumtotal/lang-default/sys_login.asp?RU=

1. Once in the GLMS, click Assess (upper left corner) and then Training Analysis – your Assigned training is shown. Please note that you may have more than one page of assigned training.

2. Click the Registration icon (paper with blue checkmark) to the left of the Improper Electronic Communications course.

3. On the next screen, click the “SUBMIT” button. Please note it may take up to a minute for this screen to load. Please be patient.

4. You will then be taken to the Activity Details screen. Hold the ‘CTRL’ key down, and at the same time click the “START” icon to launch the course

———————————-

Under no circumstances should you contact Cynthia Armine regarding this request.

46 comments (hidden for your protection)
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Comments (46)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 10:39 AM

    Fucking Kouwe.

  2. Posted by Mr. Market | June 21, 2010 at 10:45 AM

    Sources say that an HR employee was canned because she was running a sex blog from her email. Rather than taking the 30 seconds to set up a blogger.com account, she decided to email her “updates” on a daily basis to her friends and colleagues. Amateur hour

  3. Posted by MisterB | June 21, 2010 at 10:45 AM

    So what you’re saying is Cynthias loose lips sink ships?

    Too many DLee “work appropriate” photos crossing the intranets there?

    I can see if mayyyyybe there was an ill-timed anti Vikram note, but seriously?

    Maybe they should spend more time wondering how they ended up with 29B shares out instead of what people say to each other.

  4. Posted by guest | June 21, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    @2 I really would like for that to be true.

  5. Posted by Governer David Paterson | June 21, 2010 at 10:49 AM

    “2. Please note that this training does NOT contain audio.”

    Fucking jerks.

  6. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 10:59 AM

    no audio, but it IS self- learning…

  7. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 11:01 AM

    Where is the “please do not forward” tag?

  8. Posted by Bess Levin | June 21, 2010 at 11:01 AM

    @2 did you take the 30 seconds to set up a blogger.com account I hope?

  9. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 11:01 AM

    Over use of the phrase “scorching tits” flagged something in the Citi system

  10. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 11:02 AM

    @5 was funny.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    Nick Giorgi I told you to fucking lock it up.

    Now look what you’ve done.

  12. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    “Under no circumstances should you contact Cynthia Armine regarding this request.”

    Apparently contacting your own firm’s CCO is also classified as improper.

  13. Posted by guest | June 21, 2010 at 11:18 AM

    If you already know how to send improper electronic communications, do you still need to take the course?

  14. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    This is a dark day.

    No longer will kouwanal_yst be able to post from the janitor’s closet at Citi lest he gets courtmartialed for Improper Electronic Communications.

  15. Posted by Mr. Market | June 21, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    @8 I did but its too intense for Dealbreaker. It’s going straight to DVD

  16. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 12:36 PM

    “1. Once in the GLMS, click Assness (upper left corner) and then Training Analysis – your Assigned training is shown. Please note that you may have more than one page of assigned training.”

    Things are looking up.

    - you know who.

  17. Posted by PermaGuest | June 21, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    Why is Citi operating on Central Daylight Time?

  18. Posted by Texashedge | June 21, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    @15, you mean DVDA?

  19. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 4:00 PM

    I work on the MS side and they sent an email later that day telling us to disregard the previous email.

    Citi cant get it’s Kouwe together.

  20. Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2010 at 5:44 PM

    *** PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS EMAIL ***

    Recent headlines involving incompetent html coding are an important reminder to “think before writing, read before uploading” lessons of the past scandals affecting the financial services business. To this end, employees are required to take a ten minute online training program titled How to Code for more than one Browser briefing the do’s and don’ts of cross browser checking and general competence. Once complete, Coders will have advanced their skills from the level of Absolutely Pathetic, to Having some Idea of the Real World.

  21. Posted by Anonymous | June 30, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    @18 – I think he meant 2G1C

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