The men, women and vampire squids at Goldman Sachs posses a lotta talent among them. Many of them can tie a maraschino cherry stem into a knot in under ten seconds. They pioneered the buddy system between the prime brokerage and prop desk so as to maximize front-running of clients. A not insignificant number of them are quite skilled at charades. Sportsmen, however, they are not. This has been evident at many an impromptu stick ball game among the banks (don’t feel bad about that Viniar, it could have happened to anyone) and continued to be clear last night at the JPMorgan Corporate Challenge, where Goldman failed to place any employees in the top 5. Putting a fine point on it was one JPMorgan staffer who it should be noted snapped the photo above, and the ones later on of Team GS circle JO&C’ing in the bathroom of the bar everyone congregated at. But hey, look! Moragan Stanley won something!
You know how the North Korean team has been doing well in the World Cup on the back of their strong motivational system? The one where the incentive to win is based on your family staying alive?
Well, Goldman has a similar system in place. So if you work there and didn’t rep the big G-S in the 3.5, better make sure your wife and kids are insured against Lloyd coming round with an axe and a hockey mask.
Aileen Colon,hehe.
Seller of Sean Swift being a real person.
BETH,
YOU TRY RUNNING WITH TWO GOLD ENCASED MEDITATION BALLS BASHING AGAINST ONE ANOTHER IN 80+ DEGREE HEAT! THE SOUNDS ALONE WERE MESMERIZING!
This $hit happens at D.E Shaw all the time. It’s no big deal.
5k? pussies. where are the sub 17:00′s
@1 Lamb’s blood on the doorpost was the antidote last time Lloyd was doing this sort of God’s work; still the appropriate policy?
@7 – Sadly not – Lloyd has adapted and grown to become the perfect predator. To survive this time we’ll need liberal quantities of hydrofluoric acid, some electrified razor wire, a bucket of holy water and a miracle.
It’s 3.5 miles, not 5k. Some respectable times in there
@9 3.5 miles = 5.632704 kilometres
Gay.
DUHHHH WHAT’S A MILE
- Former Dealbreaker Contributor/Quant
Goldman’s top performer finished 26th and his name is Richard Little… yes, my friends, ‘little dick.’
@9 yeah not bad at all
Are you guys really that dumb? The race was 3.5 miles, and the winner received $5,000.00; hence, “5K.”
5 thousand feet? I thought that was a metric mile?
Raymond James London Quant
@15 FTW
This was way more meaningful in 98, when we just lost our 1st half-billion for BAC. Back then, David literally crawled on all fours from Dave Coulter’s Tribeca love pad, all the way back to the Mil Broad. Me and Deepak often wondered why he’d really want to freeze his brain, given the waaaaaaay more impressive torso he’d display between 8th and 23rd, and MSG. God he loved brownies.
GS were running the odds, as per usual. can’t help but make a quick buck.
This wouldn’t have happened if I were CEO.
-JC
This wouldn’t have happened if I were CEO.
-KZ
The real race is the 100 mile Bike MS NYC in October. That’s when Goldman’s sacks will really be hurting.
This race should have been done “Long Walk” style with the last place runner at each half mile being picked off by a sniper.
its sad that this blog will slander gs prime brokerage without even a shred of an effort to substantiate it. Sign of our low standards era that “journalists” say what they like instead of what they can prove.
I challenge.
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