As you may have heard, the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission is none too pleased with Goldman Sachs. First, the bank didn’t turn over requested documents as quickly as Chairman Phil Angelides and his wingman, vice-Chair Bill Thomas asked for them. Then the slippery little devils dumped twenty million pages on the commission’s asses. Somewhere in that pile of crap is probably the information the FCIC is looking for but Christ on a crutch it’ll be Labor Day before they get through the damn thing! I mean really! Some of us wanted to wrap this up and have that den of sin shut down before the Fourth. You know, so they could enjoy the long weekend without it hanging over their heads. But you know what? No, it’s cool. No one’s gonna get angry here because Goldman Sachs actually did Angelides and Thomas a favor. Because this little stalling tactic can only mean one thing.
“They stretched us out thinking they played the game cleverly,” FCIC Vice Chairman Bill Thomas said. “They may have more to cover up than we thought.”
Hell yeah they do! No one was even gonna thumb through all that but now that we know there’s even more damning dirt in there than previously imagined? Well William Gareth Jacob Busey Senior, Phil ‘n Bill will carve out some time during lunch! Because yes, that is the sound of a monument being erected in B&P’s likenesses, with whatever is Latin for “We nailed these fuckers, and not just for the financial ish but the J-walking, and the hair plugs, and the fact that Lucas van Praag’s accent is a sham, too” at the bottom. It’s all in there. These two are gonna be heroes.
Goldman Sachs Spent Months Dodging Questions, FCIC Says [ABC News]
They should settle this dispute like men, a good ole’ fashioned staring contest between Phil Angelides and Lloyd Blankfein.
My money is on Lloyd.
lloyd has a stink eye with a laser coming out of it, not so dissimilar to kano in mortal combat
If I was Lloyd, I would show the FCIC how large my anal bead tail was, and parade up and down the aisles of congress wagging it around, establishing my dominance.
“Futotores figocum”..
You’re welcome.
~Clavdivs
http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/definitionlookup?redirect=true&lang=la
It really sounds like these guys are too lazy to do their own damn job and want GS to do it for them.
Goldman really is politically tone deaf.
They should just turn it over to a plaintiff firm and give them a 33% on the settlement.
What’s up with the comments today on DB about anal beads? Did I miss something?
@8 Read the comments on the Arki Busson thing from yesterday– all will be revealed…
Too big to fail dumps too much to read on too small to matter, and hopes they won’t be too thorough to miss what is too damning to reveal. Going with @7 here.
they just solved the gdp problem for a few quarters. if the gov just sent one page to one citizen, 20 million times and paid those 20mm people 500 buck each to scan for indicting words, we’d get a onvictio, the 12billion back from the AIG rescue because we can fine it upon Goldies and we’d get 5%+ GDP growth for 2 quarters.
Just fine GS $100 per page submitted based on information found in those pages. Then tell GS that if they wish to appeal, they must present a defense of each page. If any page is not specifically explained or defended, then all charges apply.
Then nail them for RICO and have the top three hundred execs in GS do hard time in Sing-Sing where they will learn more about commodity trading (cigarettes and ass) than any J Aron internship could supply.
@3 Yes. Yes. Yes. I love the image. That is the answer.
If Congress could be bothered to phrase its document requests in a coherent manner, maybe they wouldn’t get stuff they didn’t want. Idiots.