Time was, if you were, say, a hedge fund client of Goldman Sachs, you knew not to expect much in the way of bedside manner. No coddling, no hand holding, no Shmoopy Talk. You could try getting them on the phone, but that was generally futile, as all client calls were automatically rerouted to the Rejection Line. Oh, you felt like you weren’t getting enough attention? You wondered if maybe there was a chance they were sometimes screwing you? Too bad. The way GS saw it, you were lucky if they didn’t nut in your eye. Your only recourse was to roll over and take it, or GTFO. Since the whole “SEC fraud charge,” however, things have changed.
Now, clients are actually getting their calls returned from the inside. And the conversations aren’t two unsatisfying minutes but sometimes 3 or 5! And they don’t end by the Goldman guy simply hanging up with out warning but offering a pretty convincing bull shit excuse like “oooh, I’m getting a buzz, gotta jump but I really enjoy this.” It’s wild! And it doesn’t stop there.
Another hedge fund that a year ago turned down Goldman for a prime brokerage assignment was recently contacted again by the Wall Street firm to see if it would reconsider. A person close to the hedge fund, who declined to be identified, said the incident was surprising since Goldman rarely comes back begging for business.
Are you beside yourself in shock? Well sit down and get a load of this.
Traders said they’ve noticed that Goldman’s prime brokerage operation, which provides loans to hedge funds and executes trades for funds, is going out of its way of late to show clients the firm cares. One hedge fund trader whose firm uses Goldman as a prime broker said a Goldman executive called a few days after the SEC lawsuit and offered to treat some of the fund’s trading team to a sushi lunch.
Maxine Moore Carr Waters I literally cannot believe what I’m hearing. An entire sushi lunch? Could you die? (You will when you find out clients being taken to establishments like this, with Lloyd serving as the model to fairly stellar reviews. That’s how much he cares.)
**Of course, the real test of whether or not GS actually gives a shit will be if they put a moratorium on cutting down clients’ shrubs, in a memo entitled, “You don’t mow another guy’s lawn.”
this story seems a bit fishy to me….
Beth, I mean Bess do you like the Eel or do you prefer the California rolls?
ON WHAT PLANET IS SOFT SHELL CRAB COLORED GOLD? GET YOUR FILTHY STICKS OFF OF ME, CRETIN.
“role over and take it”?
I just read an article that ranked Goldman’s prime brokerage unit as narrowly 4th of the BBs so it’s not like GS is on its way to UBS status
Goldman has reached the point of nori turn
@NS, you are on a roll today.
Gasparino’s towel just went up.
Lol @ 6
Lloyd looks so delicious!
As Goldman clients, we recently received a call from them informing us of the possibility that maybe one day they will seriously consider whether or not they would like to commit to deciding if they would like to take us out for coffee. Things are looking up.
@5 — where can we see this “article”?
@5 – where wwould we be able to see this “article”?
Rumor has it the lunch consisted of the soon-to-be-extinct bluefin tuna and the endangered Kemp Ridley sea turtle.
Did you Photoshop the donuts out of that picture?
And they had “adopted kitten rolls” too!
Sushi? I thought if LLoyd was buying it would be more like Gefilte Fish, no?
Schmoopy tag FTW
mmmmm….llox……
Would have expected him to wear the “flower ring” at least. Disappointed none of the SNAGs on this site recognize the sushi “presentation.”
But don’t eat the penis, it’s just garnish.
@21 I still say getting nailed by an 18 year-old line backer is just what she needed (also, I love you).
@22 What happened? Are they all off looking up “SNAG”?
12/13 click below, but take with a grain of salt. GS and MS are still #1 in PB:
http://home.globalcustodian.com/images/stock/PB-2010-not-for-distribution.pdf
@6/7: you two have got me rollin’
@21, you made me laugh. Well done.
Soy-a later Lloyd!
NS, I seaweed you did there.
Lloyd did you have your scrot redipped or are you just happy to sashimi?
@NS,
You and Tax Chick should hook up. I sense a rapport building.
Now everyone’s going to want to see GS bent over backwards to take turns showing Lloyd “firm cares.” His chances are better if he just goes with yesterday’s Oprah strategy, although I’m not sure the sushi is as fresh.
@31 Shut your filthy whore mouth.