Communiqués, MBAs, News

Good Luck To All

It’s CFA time tomorrow and we know everyone taking it is going to do great! And if you don’t, it’s not like this shit matters– just ask any of your MBA friends. Alternatively, think about it this way– becoming a Chartered Financial Analyst will spell the end of your budding pornography career. Plus, we’ll be throwing a special pity party for the failures, so there’s that to look forward to. And because I know some of you are sensitive:


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I really mean that.

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104 Responses to “Good Luck To All”

  1. Seth Green says:

    All my friends taking the CFA tomorrow – you will be rewarded with a G-ICE(a Goat-Ice combo). I hope you enjoy.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Elation!

    -Needy #21 from the other post

  3. NakedShort says:

    aaaaaaaasssssssssss to aaaaaaaasssssssssss

  4. Anonymous says:

    Kouwe purchased 200 shares of XYZ at $21 a share in July 2007 and intends to actively trade 80 shares in the near future and hold the remaining 120 shares as available for sale securities. XYZ’s closing price was $26 on December 31, 2007, and Kouwe did not sell any of its shares.

    What amount should Kouwe report on this investment under the income statement?

  5. Anonymous says:

    @3 – Good Scoop! I don’t think anyone saw that back on April 7th.

  6. Anon says:

    Aaaaand, CFA+MBA=?

  7. Anonymous says:

    @5 We all know Kouwe would just steal the answer from someone else

  8. Anonymous says:

    @7 MBA with no sex life?

  9. Anonymous says:

    Raghead is not the correct answer

  10. Anonymous says:

    I am a doctor, god damn it!

  11. xel says:

    no wonder markets are down today

  12. xel says:

    When doing triangular arbitrage questions, you never wanna go up the Ask, and down the Bid.

  13. Anonymous says:

    @7 Anal leakage?

  14. Anonymous says:

    Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

  15. NakedShort says:

    Personally I dont think there is any degree or certification more dangerous out there then a Ph D. in Economics.

  16. Anonymous says:

    @5 Kouwe classified them as held to maturity, which raised a red flag with the auditors, he was subsequently fired and… well… that how we ended up with him.

  17. Anonymous says:

    I don’t have a MD or law degree. I have a bachelor’s in kicking butt and taking names.

    -Nick Naylor

  18. Anonymous says:

    CFA Question 104:

    Gulf Oil Trading Company (GOTCO) buys a cargo of Bonny Light for delivery to the US Gulf. The very next day, the market price of physical crude oil collapses by 20%. What should GOTCO do?

    a. Sell the oil at a loss to Shell.
    b. Buy more cargoes to “average down” the trade’s entry price.
    c. Transfer the cargo off the GOTCO books to the book of Gulf Oil Products Refining Company as though the cargo was never owned by GOTCO in the first place.

  19. Anonymous says:

    @19 d. slap a BP emblem on it and run it aground in the FL Keys.

  20. e_anthony59@hotmail.com says:

    Loves it, @20!

  21. Anonymous says:

    Technically, you are not supposed to use “Charted Financial Analyst” as a noun. You don’t become “a CFA” you become a “CFA Charter holder”

    But then again, technically, I’m supposed to add value for my clients instead of just making us bullshit and convincing them to pay me.

    – A CFA/MBA/PIMP

  22. Anonymous says:

    @ 6- I did.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, but an MBA would never willingly take it in the arse like a CFA would.

  24. Anonymous says:

    @24, hBS pledge to do no evil or wtf it said…

  25. Mr. Market says:

    KouweYo (KY) establishes an international subsidiary called CompletelyFakeAppropriation (CFA) in Geneva, Switzerland to compete with Dealbreaker. KY plagiarizes stories from Dealbreaker and publishes them at the subsidiary’s new website, Dealbuster.

    CFA establishes Dealbuster with $250 of equity on 1/1/2014 when the USD/CHF exchange rate is 1.00. During 2014, CFA reports losses of $150 (spent on female hygiene items, pencils, and swiss cheese, with no accompanying revenue). The average USD/CHF exchange rate over this period is 1.15. At year-end, the exchange rate is 1.30. Using the appropriate translation method, calculate Kouwe’s net worth on 12/31/14.

  26. Anonymous says:

    @26 FTW

  27. Anonymous says:

    @3 I’d eat it.

  28. Who else already started drinking?

  29. Anal_yst says:

    @29

    Were I not already sick, I’d be right there with you

    –Still stuck @ the office

  30. Anonymous says:

    I am 3 Maker’s & coke deep.

    /Quest Luv

  31. Anonymous says:

    There’s an after exam party at the Irish Rouge (356 West 44th Street, between 8th & 9th Avenues)

    I know i’ll be needing a drink right afterwards

  32. ChaPlease says:

    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

  33. Anonymous says:

    MBA > CAIA > CFA.

  34. Anonymous says:

    @34 you’re an idiot

  35. Anonymous says:

    @35, no, your an idiot

  36. @30 (Anal_yst) Get well soon.

  37. Anonymous says:

    @4—> Awesome! The answer is 1k

  38. End Game says:

    I challenge ANY of you motherfuckers to fight me at Minetta Tavern.

  39. Anal_yst. says:

    @39, you’re ON!!! I’m sick of motherfuckers like you hassling me all over the blogosphere. I’ll be wearing a blue shirt (popped collar and french cuffs), shades, grey dress pants, shades and a gym bag that says UBS on the straps.
    See you around 10 ahole, get ready for an ass kicking. Maybe that will satisfy your need for my thoughts and views.

    -Anal_yst

  40. Anal_yst. says:

    IG@37,
    Thanks. I just have to wait for the sores to die down and the Valtrex to kick in. Aargh! If I could only relive that one night in Pattaya with the “girls”.

    -Anal_yst

  41. Anonymous says:

    God bless @40!

  42. cfa and mba says:

    i have both but needed neither

  43. Test Taker says:

    I am writing this during lunch at the exam. So many candidates here are wearing diapers in case of nervous bowel movements that so many CFA test takers have on exam day. I cant believe it, such a bizarre culture. The morning session was easy.

  44. Anonymous says:

    @3 – Kouwe what are you doing writing in the comments section?

  45. Master of None says:

    I also thought it was easy; I definitely scored in the top decile. I’ll outperform on the afternoon exam as well.

    Which two behavioral finance concepts have been demonstrated in the above statements?

  46. Anonymous says:

    That and $2.25 will get you on the subway you fucking morons.

  47. Anonymous says:

    @47 FTW

  48. Denny Deckshoes says:

    Level 2 was a joke. Left after about 75 minutes. I most likely set the curve. Felt much better knowing that Philly police were helping to protect the integrity of the exam. Plus the guy reading the instructions had a walky-talky and an orange vest/hat combo from Cabela’s with the Browning logo…like a crossing guard with a license to kill deer and other forest creatures. Wonder if he knows about my multiple regression skills.

  49. Matt in Los Angeles says:

    Most depressing things about the CFA exam:

    1) The exam itself (seriously, this thing sucks)

    2) Running into a buddy that works for Pimco (he’s on Level 3) who was saying that none of us Level 1ers have a prayers chance of getting a job at Pimco (based in Newport Beach, CA … aka Heaven) until everyone they hired from Lehman, Bear Stearns …etc dies or retires … just short of never.

    3) Said person adding that Bill Gross is not kidding about the bleak outlook for the economy. Shit sucks, especially in CA.

    4) Realizing that I probably didn’t pass because the entire pass rate is probably made up of the 80% of college students taking it because they think it will help them become a Managing Director instead of a support/excel slave/bitch.

    5) Realizing that 1-4 mean I will probably remain a support/excel slave/bitch for a while longer.

    FML

    Highlight of the day?

    I still got to hit up the beach, grab some booze, take a nap, catch up on dealbreaker and now I’m headed out to Hollywood to meet someone with all looks, no brain and even less of a soul.

    And tomorrow the Lakers will go up 2-0 against the Celtics and Boston can kiss our tanned asses.

  50. american bandersnatch says:

    Matt:
    On the bright side, I’m glad you will remain a peon for an extended period of time.
    AB

  51. b man says:

    Do pornstars and CFAs have the same turnover rate? And which job is more lucrative?

    I’m just curious.

  52. Anonymous says:

    @49 Damn dude, you forgot about the afternoon section! That sucks.

  53. Mr India china says:

    I totally rocked level 2 on Saturday.
    I took most of Saturday evening off to celebrate, I watched my first full movie this year.

    I started studying for level 3 today.
    When I pass I look forward to a big promotion where I can boss around a lot of dumb American MBA tools.
    Until then I will continue doing their coding, reviewing their spreadsheet models and producing their reports.

  54. Anonymous says:

    @54 Nice.

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