Come on in gang!

That’s apparently what he tells Bryan Burrough in an upcoming article for Vanity Fair interestingly titled “What’s Eating Steve Cohen?” Beyond putting the unthinkable (a 72 Cummings Point Road without the big guy? Ping Jiang would sooner do a woman) out there, Burrough also posits that the reason Stevie agreed to his only second interview ever was because Mrs. Alex Cohen had always wanted to be shot by Annie Leibovitz (BB’s alternate theory, which he shared with Bloomberg earlier, is that SC wanted to break his “code of silence” to show the world “he doesn’t have long hair and finger nails,” which is gonna disappoint some of the fan boys).

Other little tidbits we’re apparently going to learn from the piece include:

* Steve’s favorite piece of art (will it be one of these ladies?)

* His days as a “poker shark”

* His chronic back pain (Jesus it’s about time. FREAKING FINALLY, amiright?)

* “The thorough changes he claims to have implemented at SAC to ensure that the firm is in full compliance with the law after gaining a reputation for being ‘way out there’ (in the words of one competitor) on information gathering.”

Photo credit: Annie Leibovitz

63 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (63)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Adorable. His feet don’t even reach the floor.

  2. Posted by anon | June 2, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    The thorough changes he claims to have implemented at SAC to ensure that the firm is in full compliance with the law after gaining a reputation for being ‘way out there’ (in the words of one competitor) on information gathering.

    so.much.bullshit.

    -guy sitting within spitting distance of SC, trying to get fired.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 11:29 AM

    Carney, on mute, reminds me of Spencer Pratt.

  4. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    @3 thanks, but no one cares, we’re talking about SC here, a little focus please.

  5. Posted by Salami | June 2, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    Hey, What is the White Shadow doing at Vanity Fair?

  6. Posted by Haywood | June 2, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    Another Bryan with a “Y”?? WTF?

  7. Posted by ex-PMB chick | June 2, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    Bess, nobody loves Stevie like you do. Most of these hacks wouldn’t even think to ask him about his back.

  8. Posted by Warren "Cool" Coolidge | June 2, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    “beefed up their legal defenses” instead of “changed their processes, approach” to make sure this never happened again?? very telling indeed… Abner, pass me the rock and go get Gomez down here!

  9. Posted by Jeffrey - Cohen - Chiang | June 2, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    reave my dad arone

  10. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    Does anyone else think he looks like Humpty Dumpty sitting up on a wall in that pciture?

  11. Posted by JT | June 2, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    How much of a diet did Alex go on before that VF photo shoot. Or did she just pay for Lipo. She doesn’t look like she has cheek bones when she picks up her girls from Rye Country Day School. But then Stevie just needs somone who is loyal to him and hottness isn’t at the top of his list.

  12. Posted by Yee Haw Motherfuckers | June 2, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    Someone put a bridle on those unruly lapels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    @11 you sound kinda ‘stalky’

  14. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    @ 10- Yes.

    I was waiting for someone to say it.

  15. Posted by so frickin bad | June 2, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    “Hey, prosecutors, na nana na na …try and get somethin on me before i quit”

  16. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    I thought the edge at SAC is that they make the ibank sales monkeys gather the insider info thus insulating themselves

    Ala Gordon Gecko

  17. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    He wouldn’t be thinking of retiring on the back of Mrs. Patricia Ex-Cohen revealing a little pillow talk to the prosecutors, would he?

  18. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 2:09 PM

    corpulent jewish guys and chunky PR women w/ huge backyards shouldn’t make girl babies.

  19. Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    I can confirm that Alex did have lipo but a while ago. It didn’t work tho, and now the chunk came back to her lower legs and buttocks. Her son Josh filmed it for a NYU lab project.

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    Alex’s ob/gyn no longer speaks to her.

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