I knew there was a reason I loved Jerome Kerviel and today that reason became crystal clear. As previously mentioned, the former SocGen trader admitted faking a buncha trades during his time with the firm. Now, there’s this:
Former Societe Generale trader Jerome Kerviel admitted on Tuesday to creating a fake client called “Matt” to cover massive unauthorised bets with a broker. 33-year-old Kerviel told the court on the sixth day of his trial how he had lied to broker Moussa Bakir about the driven, rugby-loving “Matt”, who worked for a hedge fund, in response to Bakir’s questions about his trading strategy.
I must know more. Did Kerviel tell his bosses he and Matt go way back, having met “one drunken night” at University? Did he have pictures of Matt on his desk and snarl at colleagues’ insinuation the photos were the ones that come with the frames? Did he ever pick up the phone and pretend to be talking to Matt when no one was on the other line, or he’d dialed whatever is french for 411 and told the operator to play along? I need that last one to be true more than I’ve ever needed anything in my life.
Ex-trader Kerviel admits to fake client [Reuters via BI]
Oh, sure, and I bet “Matt’s” account number at SocGen was “88888″. That frog wanker ripped me off!
~Nick Leeson
Did Matt have a Facebook page? They could have checked that.
~AIG Quant
That kid in “The Shining” had an imaginary friend too. It turned out that the imaginary friend saved his life.
And he was a dirty, Tight-Head Prop; head-spearing hookers on every pitch the tour visited…
Bess, remember when you made up that guy Zach Kouwe?
@5 yeah. how hilarious was that?
met one drunken night and decided to play just-the-tip. Cute without the E
“Did he have pictures of Matt on his desk and snarl at colleagues’ insinuation the photos were the ones that come with the frames?”
Very funny. Haha. Fuck you.
Sometimes an imagination is the truest asset one holds.
the fuck Jerome?
http://www.yuppiedouchebagchronicles.blogspot.com/
Bonjour! C’est Quatre-un-un! Comment allez-vous?
His name? umm.. his name is…. um… George….. yeah, George Glass and he is groovy!
I don’t love you because love is for girls and girls are disgusting
Kerviel was actually calling Jim Cramer to talk stock tips, KErviel obviously took the other side knowing Jim’s track record…
If you really want to make it your business, that colored gentleman is Christopher, with his golden retriever, Oliver. And yes, he got that ice cream with me in Wisconsin. 1987. And no; I don’t have any recent pictures.
Now, kindly excuse yourself.
His supervisor never saw The Brady Bunch???! Le Paquet de Brady?? WTF? Think he was picturing Matt Damon or Matt Dillon? Or did he reference the old classic american joke: Qu’appelez-vous l’avec aucuns bras ou aucunes jambes qui s’assied devant votre porte ? Matt!! ahhhhhahahahaahahahaha.. Tres Bien!!! Tres Bien!!
I just got an error message saying “You are not posting fast enough.”
A french man in finance is as useful as a lubricated dildo for a rapist.
Nothing like this would ever happen at Jefferies. Suck on my prestige bitches!!!!
- Jefferies Analyst
can you please post a picture of this jerome guy you keep talking about
whew that was close – i know how much the french like Harvey
Elwood P. Dowd
Bess, why do you keep @# yourself, like in comment 6? It seems schizophrenic. I was thinking the same thing.
I have a friend too, its a big black talking dog.
God bless @20 for the “Harvey” reference.
My imaginary friend mysteriously controls my well developed right hand and wrist from time to time.
~CG
cow_anus
Actually, he had a thing about the Today Show “Matt.”
“Mon ami, Matt, du Spectacle d’Aujourd’hui….”
Wow, that is so cool. Kerviel just exposed the secret of getting trades past compliance. Apparently if “Matt” has done the trade, then that turns off all the risk monitoring flags, KYC and AML.
Checkmatt.
My imaginary friends talk me out of killing you
-Dixie Normous
@22 willing to bet that your “friend” is BIG and Black but definitely not a dog