After countless sex scenes on True Blood, Ryan Kwanten knows a thing or two about getting intimate. The HBO actor, 33, is writing a sex guide, The G-Strategy, and his pals are already taking his advice.”I gave it to a couple of my friends and they’ve got back to me sort of a week or two later, saying, ‘Oh my God, Ryan! Where did you get it?’” he tells Access Hollywood. “I didn’t tell them that I wrote it, and they got back to me a week or two later saying, ‘Oh my God! This is really helping me out.’ One of my friends said his sex life has never been better! They’ve just taken it as gospel.” He describes his audience as, “Predominantly with men, it’s more the finance-type world. With those, you’ve got the Wall Street guys that lap up anything that’s a chance to make a quick buck.”
Archive for June 2010
Ping Exceptional Value Fund:
April 2010: 4.99% Continue reading »
If This Investing Thing Doesn’t Pan Out, Ray Dalio May Have A Shot At Marriage Counseling
By Bess Levin
Back in May, we published “Principles,” the unofficial employee handbook of Bridgewater Associates. Principles contain founder Ray Dalio’s musing on life, love, and how to run a successful hedge fund using brutal truth. For instance, if you want to tell someone they suck, you are more than welcome to. In fact, at Bridgewater, you are actively encouraged to do so (B-Water employees amass points for digs à la pieces of flair). But, you can’t do it behind their backs. You MUST tell someone they suck to their face and not just like a casual “You’re not so much my cup of tea” but a ass-tearing “YOU FUCKING BLOW,” and in many cases this conversation, in which you tell a colleague how you really feel, will be tape recorded and stored for the staff monthly movie night, or to review whenever anyone is feeling him/herself getting soft. If you are caught violating this or other any of the other rules three or more times you’ll likely be told to turn in your badge (everyone on staff wears a name-tag) and get off the property ASAP. So, it can be a bit of an adjustment for people not used to a place of such hardcore honesty. Some of them never get used to it and have told us as much. Others, once they get over the initial awkward phase, come to love it. And at least one has used the “Principles” to improve his marriage!
At first, Bridgewater trader Jon Hantler, a veteran of Deutsche Bank and Putnam Investments, had difficulty adjusting to the hyper-realism at Bridgewater, where colleagues openly critiqued his ideas and drilled into his weaknesses.
A prison pal of Bernie Madoff’s was recently interviewed re: the Ponz Master. At one point, the inmate casually mentions that Berns hid about $9 billion to three “personal friends” before he turned himself in, but the unnamed source who must be credible spends the majority of the time drilling down to what’s going on up top, in that big ole dome piece of Madoff’s. Apparently, there are some things that upset him. The fact that his sons, Andy and Mark “You’re not our real father” Madoff haven’t spoken to him in almost two years isn’t one of them. I mean, sure, he wishes they did but it doesn’t plague him. He figures they’ll get over being mad at daddy soon enough. What does upset him are two slightly more serious issues. Continue reading »
Co-founding partner and co-CEO Eric Mandelblatt is out of there (to run Soroban Capital Partners, which will launch in October). According to Saijel Kishan, Mandelblatt is taking 8 people with him, including Gaurav Kapadia, a former partner, plus the firm’s head trader. (Co-founding partner Hari Kumar left the fund last year to start LionRock Capital.)
Earlier From TPG-Axon: Please Stop Circulating Our Abysmal Results
Time was, if you worked at Citi, one of the “perks” of the job was that you could let loose over email in ways other banks had already put the kibosh on. The big C may not pay the most, it may offer little to no prestige, and it definitely lost some fans when the “no catching a beej on the corporate jet” rule was enforced but inappropriate emails? Oh, that was something employees hung onto with pride. You wanted to have a rousing discussion about the best stall in which to JO&C? The mood struck Vikram to have a back and forth with Prince Alwaleed about a certain naughty hawk? Someone was wondering about the physics behind inserting a whiteboard marker in an underling’s rectum? You found yourself dialoguing about Lenny Dykstra about setting up a time for your call and things suddenly got…weird? That was okay!
No longer. Because someone presumably took things a little too far (best guesses as to who ruined it for everyone welcome), Citi is putting its foot down. As employees have until July 17 to lock it up, we suggest making the most of the next 26 days.
From: Compliance Training
Sent: Thursday, June 17, 2010 6:00 PM
To: Citi Employees
Subject: URGENT TRAINING REQUEST FROM CYNTHIA ARMINE, CHIEF COMPLIANCE OFFICER*** PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS EMAIL ***
Recent headlines involving inappropriate e-mails are an important reminder to “think before writing, read before sending” lessons of the past scandals affecting the financial services business. To this end, employees are required to take a ten minute online training program titled Improper Electronic Communications briefing the do’s and don’ts of electronic communications.
BP Chief Draws Outrage for Attending Yacht Race (NYT)
BP officials on Saturday scrambled yet again to respond to another public relations challenge when their embattled chief executive, Tony Hayward, spent the day off the coast of England watching his yacht compete in one of the world’s largest races. “He is having some rare private time with his son,” a BP spokeswoman, Sheila Williams, said in a telephone interview on Saturday. On Saturday, Senator Richard Shelby, Republican of Alabama, called Mr. Hayward’s yacht outing the “height of arrogance,” in an interview with Fox News. “I can tell you that yacht ought to be here skimming and cleaning up a lot of the oil,” Mr. Shelby said. “He ought to be down here seeing what is really going on. Not in a cocoon somewhere.”
London’s City Buys BP While Wall Street Flees Risk in U.S. (Bloomberg)
“There’s a feeling in the U.K. that BP has been singled out unfairly and that there’s long-term value in the stock,” said Iain Armstrong, an analyst at Brewin Dolphin Ltd., which oversees more than $31 billion in London and increased its BP holdings in May. “In the U.S., it’s a very emotive issue, and politicians are making it much more personal and vindictive. If you’re a U.S. fund manager and BP doesn’t manage to stop the leak, you’ve got a lot to answer for.”
BP Says Gulf Oil Spill Response Costs Up To $2 Billion (WSJ)
“It is too early to quantify other potential costs and liabilities associated with the incident,” the company said in a statement.
Germany And France Examine ‘Two-Tier’ Euro (Telegraph)
The creation of a “super-euro” zone would initially include France, Germany, Holland, Austria, Denmark and Finland. The likes of Greece, Spain, Italy, Portugal and even Ireland would be left in a larger rump mostly Mediterranean grouping. The official said French and German officials had first spent months examining how to exclude poor-performing states from the euro but decided it was not feasible.
To Help Prevent Crises, Delay Some Executive Pay (NYT)
Robert Shiller: “If our holdback measure had been in place before the last crisis, executives might have had serious second thoughts about giving a green light to mortgage-backed securities that would later go bust.”
Gold at new record high after Saudi reserves double (FT)
The changes in Riyadh’s reserves were revealed by the World Gold Council, the industry-backed body which regularly tracks official bullion holdings. According to the WGC, the Saudi Arabian Monetary Agency, the central bank, has gold reserves of 322.9 tonnes, more than double the 143 tonnes it had previously reported.
New Mexico v. Val Kilmer: Payback Time (WSJ)
When actor Val Kilmer recently applied for permits to turn his 6,000-acre ranch outside Santa Fe into an upscale bed-and-breakfast, several of his neighbors protested. They weren’t worried about traffic or noise or the prospect of intruding tourists. They were incensed about comments attributed to Mr. Kilmer in magazine articles dating to 2003 and 2005. And they didn’t want him to get his way on the ranch unless he apologized. “That’s all he has to do, come and apologize,” said Jose Garcia, who runs horses on a 50-acre ranch next to Mr. Kilmer’s. “We’re not intimidated by him.” Mr. Kilmer was quoted—misquoted, he says—describing his rugged corner of New Mexico as “the homicide capital of the Southwest.” He went on to avow that “80% of the people in my county are drunk,” requiring him to carry a gun for protection. That was in a 2003 interview with Rolling Stone. Continue reading »
$$$ Monsters In The Market [The Atlantic]
$$$ Phil Falcone interested in Newsweek? [BI]
$$$ Amid the Gulf crisis, Wall St touted BP stock [Reuters]
$$$ Oil spill could trigger massive rescue effort of Florida’s manatees [CNN]
Charlie Gasparino Reminisces About Intimidating Joe Kernen In The Locker Room, With His Schlong
By Bess Levin
If you haven’t been keeping up with your financial talking head drama, you (like me) might’ve missed the fact that yesterday on CNBC, Joe Kernen referred to Fox Business as a bunch of “wing-nuts.” Fox did not like this! And you know who at Fox really didn’t like it? Charles Gasparino. How dare Kernen refer to Chaz’s new employer as such. “Fuck that guy Joe,” Gaspo said to the girl doing his make-up as he worked himself into a frenzy over the offense. “Who does he is, thinking he can condesend to my people,” Gaspo asked her before shouting “I said easy on the blusher, easy!” There was only one way to let Kernen know CG would not be taking this offense sitting down– by taking to the airwaves and telling everyone about how he used to inspire prison rape fantasies in JK. (FYI, this is not the first time Chaz has mentioned himself/Kernen and soap dropping on live TV. To wit, two years ago CG commented breathlessly: “Joe is a little intimidated by me. Every time Joe sees me in the CNBC locker room, half naked with a towel around my waist and my tattoo showing he gets a flash back from a prison movie. Joe’s workout is 2.7 miles every other day on the treadmill.”) Continue reading »
Goldman Needs A Little More Time To Craft Perfectly Worded Fuck You Letter To Securities And Exchange Commision
By Bess Levin
As the note will undoubtedly be a good one, the SEC has said okay to the request. Do not rush Lucas van Praag’s genius.
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission agreed to give Goldman Sachs Group Inc. additional time to file a response to the agency’s April 16 fraud lawsuit, according to two people with direct knowledge of the matter. Goldman Sachs requested in a court filing today to extend the deadline for responding to the lawsuit to July 19, the people said. The original deadline was June 21, according to court documents.

