Archive for June 2010

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 4:20 PM

Citi (Gleefully?) Notes A Certain Bank Could Stand To Lose Metric Ass-Ton Of Money On Financial Reform

By Bess Levin

The proposed financial reforms pending before Congress could cost Goldman Sachs nearly a quarter of its annual profits, Citigroup analysts estimate in a new report. Goldman Sachs could lose up to $5.06 in earnings on a per-share basis if Congress passes a bill that forbids banks from trading for their own profit, owning or sponsoring hedge funds and private equity funds, and compelling them to move most of their derivatives dealing into regulated markets, according to the research note. Combined with a potential fee to recoup taxpayer losses on TARP and higher deposit insurance assessments on its bank, Goldman could lose up to 23 percent of its profits, giving it the distinction of being the firm most impacted by the financial reform legislation. Morgan Stanley is a close second as the team of Citi analysts, led by Keith Horowitz, estimate that it could lose up to 20 percent of its profits. Up to 18 percent of JPMorgan Chase’s profits are at risk, while Bank of America, the nation’s largest bank by assets, could see up to 16 percent of its profits evaporate.

Wall Street Reform Could Cost Goldman Sachs Billions [HP]

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 4:15 PM

Serious Question Of The Day

By Bess Levin

“If Megan Fox were a Hollywood stock, should you buy, sell, or hold?” At least one thing to take into consideration is that she’s had Shia Labeouf’s tongue in her mouth. [NYM]

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 3:00 PM

Tony Hayward Gets His Life Back

By Bess Levin

What's the deal with all this oil?

Finally!

Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg told Sky News Friday the oil major remains on track to carry out a June 4 plan to set up a new stand-alone unit to handle the Gulf of Mexico oil spill response operation under Bob Dudley, who currently serves as managing director for the company. BP CEO Tony Hayward announced the plan two weeks ago. Svanberg told Sky News that Hayward “is now handing over the operation to Bob Dudley” after leading the critical operation for eight weeks.

What should he do with all this new and richly deserved time? Other than work on his sets for next week’s open mic night at the Laugh Factory of course. [MarketWatch]

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 1:55 PM

CNBC Announces New Tagline

By Bess Levin

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 1:10 PM

Who Wants To Be A CEO?

By Bess Levin

Have you always dreamed of running a company but not exactly gotten it together to amass the necessary qualifications? Have you thought it would be pretty cool to really just be the face of some organization (provided it’s not currently taking a little heat for some unfortunate accidents or being accused of harvesting & trafficking aborted baby parts out of its offices on West Street) but not do any heavy lifting behind the scenes? Today is your lucky day, provided you’re Caucasian. Continue reading »

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 12:09 PM

Stripper Blamed For Kenneth Starr’s Problems

By Bess Levin

And by problems, we of course mean being caught running a Ponzi scheme, which is just rich. It’s always the stripper’s fault, isnt’ it?

Starr’s behavior outside the office also turned erratic after taking up with Passage in 2005. He began to forsake his own counsel about modest appearances, spending more than $400,000 on jewelry from Jacob & Co., aka Jacob the Jeweler, during the span of several months in 2006, according to the criminal complaint.

In related news, Passage is still said to be looking for a new gig to support herself and son due to Starr’s assets being put on ice.

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 11:21 AM

AIG Reaches Incredible Milestone

By Bess Levin

The little CEO that could.

They said it couldn’t be done. They laughed when people suggested otherwise. They had good money riding on it, fact. They were wrong. And so today, we need to give a little credit where a little credit is due. A lot, in fact. Today, we need to give it up for AIG. Specifically, to the man at the top. Bobby “I’m gonna do unspeakable things to Andrew Cuomo” Benmosche, who’s achieved something so huge, it must be noted, and perhaps even toasted later today when his employees cut out early for 2for1′s. Have the taxpayers gotten their money back? No. Think bigger and wayyy more momentous. Continue reading »

Opening Bell: 06.18.10

By Dealbreaker

Citi Looking Past Volcker May Seek $3 Billion For Funds (Bloomberg)
Citi Capital Advisors, which oversees about $14 billion, may seek $1.5 billion for private equity this year and $750 million for hedge funds, said the people, who declined to be identified because the plans aren’t public. An additional $1 billion is targeted next year for hedge funds, the people said. “Citi must be comfortable enough that whatever happens, even in the extreme version, they’ll be able to move ahead with these businesses,” said Steven Kaplan.

Trading Floor TVs, Atrium Games Help Prevent Soccer Sick Notes (Bloomberg)
Credit Suisse Group AG’s office in London has a small auditorium available to allow its employees to watch certain games of the World Cup and has screens in the background across dealing rooms. Nomura has made arrangements for employees throughout Europe to watch the World Cup matches either via the Internet at their desks or on large screens in separate rooms.

The US Debt And Greece Analogy (WSJ)
Alan Greenspan: “Despite the surge in federal debt to the public during the past 18 months—to $8.6 trillion from $5.5 trillion—inflation and long-term interest rates, the typical symptoms of fiscal excess, have remained remarkably subdued. This is regrettable, because it is fostering a sense of complacency that can have dire consequences.”

Hedge funds leave Monaco conference in bleak mood (Reuters)
“The hedge fund industry is going to be the subject of some really rash and nasty and intense regulation,” said Rick Sopher, chairman of fund of funds LCH Investments. “There are going to be some really difficult moments for our managers.”

That 30′s Feeling (NYT)
Krugman: “Many economists, myself included, regard this turn to austerity as a huge mistake. It raises memories of 1937, when F.D.R.’s premature attempt to balance the budget helped plunge a recovering economy back into severe recession. And here in Germany, a few scholars see parallels to the policies of Heinrich Brüning, the chancellor from 1930 to 1932, whose devotion to financial orthodoxy ended up sealing the doom of the Weimar Republic.”

UBS Customers May Have `Mere Hours’ to Report to IRS (Bloomberg)
“For UBS account holders, they have mere hours to run to the IRS and hope they can disclose the account before the Swiss hand the data over,” said Asher Rubinstein, a partner at Rubinstein & Rubinstein LLP in New York who said he’s been “getting panicked calls all week.”

The Assistant Who Says ‘No’ To Jack Welch
Ms. Badowski tells Mr. Welch her opinion, even when she knows he’s not going to agree. And she will defy his orders on occasion. “I’m not going to do something inefficiently just because he’s told me to,” she says. “It’s for his own good.” Continue reading »

  • 17 Jun 2010 at 6:45 PM

Write-Offs: 06.17.10

By Bess Levin

$$$ Detection Dogs? Hunting Bedbugs Goldman Sachs ‘Mystery’ [Post Chronicle]

$$$ Medvedev Sees Risks for BP, Euro [WSJ]

$$$ Katie Benner: S&P president: credit ratings matter, shouldn’t be mandatory [Fortune]

$$$ Charlie Gasparino: BP Bond Deal Would Be Difficult [FBN]

  • 17 Jun 2010 at 5:18 PM

Goldman Beat By JPMorgan, Morgan Stanley, DE Shaw, And Random Fashion Chick

By Bess Levin

The men, women and vampire squids at Goldman Sachs posses a lotta talent among them. Many of them can tie a maraschino cherry stem into a knot in under ten seconds. They pioneered the buddy system between the prime brokerage and prop desk so as to maximize front-running of clients. A not insignificant number of them are quite skilled at charades. Sportsmen, however, they are not. This has been evident at many an impromptu stick ball game among the banks (don’t feel bad about that Viniar, it could have happened to anyone) and continued to be clear last night at the JPMorgan Corporate Challenge, where Goldman failed to place any employees in the top 5. Putting a fine point on it was one JPMorgan staffer who it should be noted snapped the photo above, and the ones later on of Team GS circle JO&C’ing in the bathroom of the bar everyone congregated at. But hey, look! Moragan Stanley won something! Continue reading »

  • 17 Jun 2010 at 5:00 PM

Wedding Bells For Tom Hudson!

By Bess Levin

Other than his pirate fetish, one thing Pirate Capital and Doubloon Capital founder Tom Hudson is known for is his love of a) getting married and b) soft rock ballads. So much so that, you may recall, he hired not one but two of Michael Bolton’s daughters, Isa and Holly (who were employed in a variety of capacities including investor relations, stock picker, fluffer and girlfriend. The two left Pirate a some time ago, and while it hurt, Hudson moved on with some delightful women he met on SugarDaddy.com. He married one of them a year or so ago but sadly things did not work about. But great news! We’re told by a person familiar with the matter, yet another special lady friend has agreed to swab Tom’s deck for all time. That’s right kids– Hudson is getting married again.

Thought you’d get a kick to know Hudson’s getting married AGAIN this Sunday, to a Raquel-something. And yes, she works at his new fund now too. I think this is #6 plus at least 5 additional broken engagements that I know of.