From the mailbag (of unfounded rumors):

“Matthew Simmons was on Bloomberg several days ago talking about nuking the BP wellhead to stop the leak, then was on the tape saying BP wouldn’t last through the summer. I’m now hearing that Simmons and Co. is putting a buy rec on BP. Also hearing also that Simmons and Co. sent out a letter to investors asking them to disavow anything Mr. Simmons has said recently.”

Comments (35)

  1. Posted by the dude | June 11, 2010 at 3:38 PM

    Is he pre-Alzheimer’s?

  2. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 3:39 PM

    hell yes

  3. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 3:40 PM

    could not open the document

  4. Posted by Bess Levin | June 11, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    @3 dont know why, opens fine for me.

  5. Posted by Greg Michaels | June 11, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    Hi all. Just got back from cleaning pelicans in the Gulf. Hope you all are well. Is Kouwe on vacation today or just away from his computer?–been trying to reach him all day.

    –Greg

  6. Posted by PermaGuest | June 11, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    Wow…

  7. Posted by Zachery Kouwe | June 11, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    See, another great writer being disavowed by his closest allies. You get the drift.

  8. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    The leak isn’t fixed!!?? You’re Kouwe’d!
    -The Donald

  9. Posted by PermaGuest | June 11, 2010 at 3:52 PM

    @1 I read the Fortune interview in which he said there’s a lake of oil “500 feet thick and a hundred miles wide” on the bottom of the GoM. Got curious and did the math: assuming said lake or plume was 5 x 100 miles, that would work out to something like 16 BILLION barrels of oil…

  10. Posted by NakedShort | June 11, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    @1 That or he has Parkinson’s like Muhammad Carli

  11. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    @1 aren’t we all?

  12. Posted by anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    Kouwe’s gone, check wikipedia

  13. Posted by Zachery Kouwe | June 11, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    @12 I know where you work.

  14. Posted by Zachery Kouwe | June 11, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    @13 I don’t know where you work

  15. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    Bring back Muffy Shazzam!

  16. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:03 PM

    @8 FTW!

  17. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    Kouwe, stop being such a dick-chicken!

  18. Posted by Canadian Banker | June 11, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    I bet Bess actually fired Kouwe because she was tired of the smell of his curry lunches stinking up the office.

    -Guy who is tired of co-worker’s curry lunches stinking up my office space

  19. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    Simmons & Co. should nuke Mr. Simmons to stop him from leaking statements.

  20. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    Interesting how Pelosi was absent over the past two weeks , but back now flapping her gums about BP rallying and inciting the massses.

    Seriously San Fran, we all know you are liberal city, but this
    b!tch is the worst, is this all you really have to offer? I would rather Richard Simmons represent you.

  21. Posted by Michaels, Gregory | June 11, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    There Will Be Blood 2: The Story of BP Zachery Kouwe and BP Oil Disaster

  22. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:39 PM

    Matthew Simmons = Ethics Violation

  23. Posted by Investorcluzo | June 11, 2010 at 4:39 PM
  24. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:41 PM

    dudes, lose the Kouwe

    - Kouwe supporter

  25. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    @20 – What the fuck does Pelosi have to do with anything? Stop trolling the internet and get busy trolling the restroom you cock gobbling bathroom cum stain. You’re old number 1 homegirl Ken Mehlmen just moved into my building – I can’t wait to pound his conservative Christian ass.

    -Anal_IST The Gay Banker

  26. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 4:52 PM

    @25 trolls like you is waht makes blog like this more interesting. I did notice how your homsexual tendencies and paranoia bubble to the surface while you dream of c@ck. Get a life or a dildo for your man-gina.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 5:08 PM

    25 HAS A MANGINA, MANGINA

  28. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 5:24 PM

    @27 Is that a mango-flavored version of Orangina?

    I love that stuff.

  29. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    @26 – Really? Is that the best you got? You write like my Philippino man servant who is getting my home in The Pines ready for the weekend. I’m off to pound him in the ass, and enjoy the weekend. I’d suggest the same, but I know you just can’t let the whole Obama/Pelosi thing go. Toodles!

    -Sgt Slaughter (The Gay Banker)

  30. Posted by Anonymous | June 11, 2010 at 5:30 PM

    @27 – I’m a top. If you’re going to talk shit, at least get it right.

    @28 – I love it too.

    -Assness (The Gay Banker)

  31. Posted by Mike Tyson | June 11, 2010 at 6:17 PM

    @25/29/30

    you might be a top but i will fuck you til you love me.

    M. Tyson

  32. Posted by Anonymous | June 12, 2010 at 11:11 PM

    Matt Simmons is no longer officially associated with or employed by Simmons & Company International.

    The only connection he has with his eponymous investment bank is that he was 1) the founder and 2) holds a powerless title of ‘chairman emeritus’

  33. Posted by Anonymous | June 14, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    @28 what is the first word in mango?

    @30 you would.

  34. Posted by Anonymous | June 14, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    This commenter used to work for Simmons & Co, and I always enjoyed receiving firm-wide emails from Matt along the lines of “I’m on my yacht in the North Sea right now, and there’s a lot of activity…”

    Matt’s official position on energy issues can be a bit peripatetic and his thinking unconventional, but he’s a really bright guy.

  35. Posted by Andrew | June 14, 2010 at 6:50 PM

    Well, it sure seems that BP’s stock will continue to deteriorate. A new Bloomberg report came out highlighting that BP may lose future U.S. leases.

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