Things have been going pretty nicely for Tony Hayward lately. He finally got taken off that bitch of a project his boss had him working on ’round the clock, thereby freeing up his time to really get out there and live life to the fullest, he was able to take in some nice yacht races and his sets at the Laugh Factory‘s latest open mic night went really, really well (NB: with the right execution, an oil spill joke can be quite the crowd pleaser). In fact, he was actually kicking around the idea of quitting his job entirely, and truly giving that stand-up a shot. Sure, it would be hard at first– this is something he’s never done this professionally, and it would be a while before he could begin to even think about possibly making a living off of it. But, he did have a nice golden parachute to look forward to, which could help the gap period before he really made it big. Or at least he thought he did. So this? Was a real kick in the pants.
If embattled BP chief executive Tony Hayward leaves the company, he is not likely to walk with a massive windfall, compensation experts said.”He will be lucky to get a single year’s salary,” said Paul Hodgson, a senior researcher at The Corporate Library, a governance group. “And even that could be mitigated in certain circumstances.”
His girlfriend gave up her toe!
Golden Parathute? Under finanthal reform, Tony, you are entitled only to my thpecial Golden Shower.
- Barnet Frank
Oh God Bess what have you done? Cue the populist nut jobs from the oil blogs in 3… 2… 1…
“What the hell did we do to deserve this?”
People of Eternia! I stand before the Great Eye of the galaxy. Chosen by destiny by the powers of Greyskull! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as Obama himself bears witness to it. Now. I, Haywardetor, am Master of the Oilverse! YES! I feel it, the power it fills me. Yes, I feel the oilverse within me! I am I am a part of the cosmos! The power flows through me! Of what consequence are you now? This planet, these people. They are NOTHING to me! The oilverse is power! Real, unstoppable POWER! I am that force! I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! I am more than man! MORE THAN LIFE! I am a GOD!
MARK KLEIN, M.D.
OAKLAND, CA
June 25th, 2010
11:09 am
The only way to restore investor confidence is to everyone stands in the same stock order execution queue and flash trading is banned.
I hear that his severance will be the right to sell any oil he can collect on his yacht while sailing around the Gulf.
@5 you has too much internets
@4 excellent Showgirls reference!
Who needs money when you have Tim Geithner and a tree fort?
“Meat on your grill = oil spill.”
Now to really piss off the populists… I’ve never been so happy for an environmental disaster as I am these days.
This calamity offers one of the few examples I can see that supports the concept of Sharia law.
The punishment for BP’s C-Suite and operations execs:
Tarred with oil collected from the Gulf and covered in feathers from the wings of dead birds, then forced to “ride the rail” composed of rusty, barnacle-encrusted well pipe collected from the sea-floor.
Though, since they’re mostly British, I suppose “pitchcapping” might be more appropriate.
Bess
This news is more than 3 days having been written up in numerous newspapers/sites. Maybe you need to get to work earlier so you can start scouring the papers for your little “cut and past” project you have going on here as you seem to be falling behind in the news.
and FYI Bess – Tony was yachting last weekend in case you missed that one too while you are writing your useless hatchet comments.