So, my friend Jessica Pressler and I did a list of the hottest pieces of male tail on Wall Street. This may be of interest to a few of you (the ladies, the boys seeking boys, those who want to hate-click about not being on it) but I am aware that, for the most part, many of you are looking for something a little different.
And so, for you, Dealbreaker will be compiling a list of the hottest IR chicks. The women who, like a certain former Citi employee, could technically be deemed “too hot” for the job and summarily fired, but are not because of their amazing asset allocation skills. I can’t do this without you, of course, so if you want it, you’re going to have to work for it. This will not be possible unless you send all relevant details here (subject line: “Hedge Fund IR Dimes”) and for the love of god, attempt to include a pic or point me in the direction where one can be found. Apparently “there’s this Jennifer chick from SAC” who’s “definitely in the Top 9″ and let us not forget that the man who set the bar for “the most insane investor relations bunnies you’ve ever seen,” Nick Maounis, has started a new shop, currently in the process of raising funds. (Please note, if people are feeling skittish, we’re not looking to demean anyone here. We’re just trying to be fair.)
So where is the list of the ladies? Still waiting for 4 minutes here….
Do employees who screw over their clients count as ‘Investor Relations’? If so, Ms. Chiesi, circa a decade other than this one.
@1 how exciting for you that you’ve overcome your illiteracy to be able to leave a comment.
Jordan Wimmer, natch.
I think “Beauties of the Buyside” should be the title
You don’t get the joke? There is no list.
@5 you’re right. I’ll have to make it a tag.
@4 yes! I forgot her last name.
@3 Bess, you’re full of piss and vinegar today.
@8 I’m actually in a great mood but I will concede I was a little hard on 1. @1 I’m sorry.
Margaret Schwaitzberg
the hottest ones aren’t in IR. If you include admins then you have something
Who do I gotta give a BJ to get an IR job?
- Unemployed sorority girl from Socal
This commented has been moderated.
@12 Make it a blumpkin, and I’ll get you a summer internship at Kleiner Perkins.
-A. Gore
I nominate Dennis Kneale. I hear his vagina is marvelous.
Of course the hottest IR chick is at my fund.
Pic of her: http://www.piratemerch.com/images/pirate_costume_IC2019.jpg
-Tom Hudson
Do employees who were technically born with penises and work for Ping Capital count toward the first or the second list?
I’m pretty hot, Bess. We’re friends on facebook. I write on your wall when I’m not sober.
Bess Levin. Boom, done. Period. Paragraph.
1 here. Thanks Bess, but I respected your retort, and it even made me chuckle. My original comment was in jest of course.
I nominate the assistants from the Bear equity trading floor, wherever they may be now…
If you mean IR as in interracial, I’ll go w/ Tori Black.
@1 you should probably attend the Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too
Would I meet rich men who want Ts on an S and to pound my vajayjay for money in IR?
–Debby L.
Paulson has a really hot one. Highbridge has an absurdly hot one. During a meeting there Alan Sunier had to turn around just to observe the hotness. Laurion capital has probably the smartest IR female, Sara Vara or something like that but she wasn’t particularly “hot” more like “ok”
I like to reflect on the time when I was quanting for Pinnacle West Gas Trading and there was a girl named “Theresa” who was nuclear hot. She had an attitude and a body that would make a man write bad checks, but in this paperless age you would first have to obtain her ABA Routing Transit Number and Account Number and then disable your own Overdraft Protection in order to do so.
Ruth Madoff
@16 When did you hire Ping?
“I’m actually in a great mood”
Yeah, I do well work.
SPODE
I know a smokeshow of a girl that just finished her MBA & is trying to get an IR gig, she’d def be on the list, if/once she gets hooked up.
Trig Palin
Why is Fabulous Fab not on the Daily Intel list?
i think harbinger has/had a really hot one
@TAAC because there was only room for one french guy and nobody beats nicolas.
Good stuff @26. Reads like Dashiell Hammett.
the megan fox roadshow girl from jpm
Bess — please say “hard on # 1″ again … but more slowly
SAC girl is above average at best..
Do I have to be HOT hot, or is just putting out prodigiously enough to make it?
- ex PMB
@38 but she is amusingly well-known…half a dozen people have emailed me about her.
@24 that’s pretty much the job description right there, you’re smarter than I assumed.
@38 Agreed…OVER RATED
It’s what’s on the inside that makes a woman hot to me.
Is it just me, or aren’t most of the IR girls engaged/married? It’s kind of a turn-off.
Have we heard about the SocGen guy who started his own casual shoe business? His name is Phillipe Philloppe.
oh and apparently there’s another SAC chick who should be considered, Jordan or Jordana something or other?
btw, unlike the most eligible bachelors list we did, the girls don’t have to be single.
2nd @43
I am the CEO of a hedge fund in Nebraska. What is a “hot IR chick”?
Perry Capital had one…
They had an IR hottie at a certain really big bank in Manhattan who was kind of bitchy. I hated every bone in her body but mine.
@43, jaime? doesn’t work there anymore.
@48, maybe think along these lines,
http://dealbreaker.com/2010/06/sophisticated-investors-now-claiming-they-were-ignorant-baby-sheep/#comments
Who or what the hell is SAC chick?
@51, @36 jaime from jpm
Those chicks from Shumway are cute and like to party.
Jessica who used to work at Obrem
Why are some women prone to sixual silf-objictificaytion, while othuhs syme priticted against it? Recent dyta suggist about 20 puhcent of wimmen have a strong propensity toward silf-objictificaytion and are thus particularly susciptible to triggers, sich as havvin theh brists, bums and liggs stared at in a pervy wye .
The researchers propose a campyne of iwireniss and iducaytion regarding this phenomenon, which could help women “begin to gyne control over, or at least buffuh themselves iginst” its nigitive cognitive impact. Thye conclude “it stands to reason that the cumulative ifficts of ibjictificaytion on the femyle body over a lifetime may severely disrupt cognitive processes,” at least among this syzable slice of the population.
This is your brine on wolf whistles, mates.
~A Prifishionil Bisniss News Reader and Junnalist with a Myjor News Outlet in Minhittin.
@43: Its a combination, no? For example, that T on an S chick, with her 15 minutes of fame, looked pretty hot to me at first. Then I clicked on a video where she opened her mouth (to talk), and suddenly she was no longer hot.
@58 no mammacita is hot one she opens her mouth. Unless she opens it for fellatiac reasons.
Brookside/Sankaty has some retarded talent, for Boston that is. Also, L-train should probably on the man list, obvi.
-kid who lives in boston but wishes he was in NYC
Actually, the men at Brookside/Sankaty are technically prettier than the women. But agreed, some talent at that annual conference.
@59…after some discussion with our colleagues, we think that should be “fellatious” reasons.
~Wall Street Journal Style Editor
That one chick from Citi. Think her name is Kate.
Met some pretty hot Australian girls a while back that claimed to work for THL, I highly doubt they were in anything but IR despite having the attitude like they were…
Anal_yst also met some hot chicks on youporn, but that’s a story for another time…
I wonder what the minimum net worth requirement is for men on The List. I know its zero (as it should be) for women. I also noticed many BA degrees from non-Ivy schools in their bios.
MS>MS>BA>MBA (unless earned after a BA)>CFA
Why are we limiting ourselves to hedge funds on the buyside?
So, after 60+ comments, they’re are only 2 hot IR chicks (both at SAC)? Maybe need to look to other departments and/or banks?
@68 I only put the quote about the SAC chick in the post. I’ve received a dozen submissions for girls at other shops so far.
@Bess – Is this in-house IR specific? I know a girl at a tiny IR firm in NYC who would blow these other chicks outta the water.
We need a “Best New Starlet” of the HF industry.
@70/all no. said whoever you want and we’ll make judgments on a case by case basis.
Bess: If you were compiling this list in a hot tub, would you get wet?
The teller at my local PNC branch is pretty hot. Does she count?
Altoona, PA day trader
awesome–its about time–next up hot hot hotties of la salle street!
IR chick at Cadian Capital. not sure on the name.
@66/Pfluger the Barbarian –
I totally agree with you.
-University of Bridgeport BS in Finance ’03, MBA ’05, Msc. Tech Mgmt ’05
Bess, can we get a women/men of goverment hot list once this is done?
-Guy who sees a therapist about the thoughts he has toward Elizabeth Warren
@78 After we do this I’ll take requests for customized lists by fetish on a case per case basis. “Fat Fucks of Finance,” etc, etc. There’s a market for practically anything. But this comes first.
Gail at Millgate
why don’t we start a list of butt stories with IR chicks? And they don’t have to be single…or even hot for that matter.
@77:
Any Harvard Extension credentialia?
there are no hot chicks in IR at SAC. Her royal highness Alexandra Garcia Cohen has issued a writ against it. Hot oil and the stockade for anyone violating this measure.
@78 Politico does one of these every year
@55- True but they are very stuck up. Probably only like it missionary, under the covers, lights off, bra on, avoid BJ like the plague. Then again, it is Greenwich, and it is Shumway.
Alexandra at Alexandra. Anyone who allocates to HFs knows what that means.
check out 100 women in hedge funds. what about corporate IR?
@85 aka wouldn’t put out…
it’s ait man, this place is dead anyway
What happened to the Mancision chick at Luxor?
This gayness has gone on too long…
Who cares if there are HOT IR GIRLS. They are all dumb sluts by birth and no better than Ts on an S.
@90- Well, let’s just say hypothetically, OK? What if they have a great personality?
@91 shutup idiot liar
@86 – she’s hot (well, at least 5 years ago when i met her).
Tina at Paulson from years ago was pretty nice as well.
@91 So what? Does that really change anything?
Also, if Debrahlee has taught us anything, it is that there is no such thing as too hot (even for LOLciti)
-90
I know this goes without saying, but everyone on this site is gay, including me.
@92/94- Clearly you are not friends with my friends.
-91
@91 There are no girls with good personalities.
PS Fuck GentlemanTrader.
@ 97- Oh,really?
- Female
Bess @79 “This comes first”, that,s what Bess said! Dude i am so all over this fetish list. prop trading plushies. Trust me I could keep’m coming.
What’da say Bess, i got the gig on this one?
SPODE
Conquest Macro
Elissa Doyle at Third Point is hands down my favorite. Gorgeous blonde.
georgeous blondes dime a dozen. go to sac.
Tiger had the hotness – equal opportunity for slinky 20 something females of *any* race or creed without exception.
None of you youngsters would know anything about that. Me, I just have to close me eyes and I’m back waiting around to pitch some crappy idea, while Julian’s harem minces back and forth wiggling and jiggling and bending and look there’s a titty about to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH SWEET JESUS MY COLON PROLAPSED AGAIN
spandex girl at galleon group
@97/98- A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb fucking mouth shut.
PS @97- Thank You. Jesus.
@66 Agreed. My MS so trumps a lousy MBA.
Salina Hattendorf
Ruane Cunniff and Goldfarb (or whatever their fucking names are)
sarah goldfarb!
The Jennifer at SAC is #1 – Not hot, #2 – Married (not like that has stopped her), #3 – Not hot.
Anal_yst, you’ve been posting some fucking retarded shit.
‘I met these girls who were hot once, don’t know if they were in IR’
‘I know a girl who is hot who might one day work in IR. Will she make the list?’
The fuck is that?
You think just because you post frequently you’re actually making a contribution?
Pull your finger out.
I can’t believe nobody has mentioned Meredith Whitney. She’s hot in a “I’d still fuck Susan Sarandon even though she’s a stupid liberal cunt who’s really old” kinda way.
Tim Seymour should have been on this list. I’m so angry.
@33 – confirmed. phil has a deep talent pool now after all the ‘one man shop’ knocks last year.
meredith @ harrier hawk
jaclyn at verition
stacey @ permian…..
They may not be good at allocating assets, but their assets are very nicely allocated.
why is your list of i.r.? do hot women who do actual investing not exist? just wondering?
@118 I get that you’re being sarcastic but maybe you should chill out and realize that yeah, by and large, there aren’t that many female investors. surely you do know it’s a very male dominated field? and that many women who work at hedge funds are in IR, where they are notoriously very attractive, and it’s practically a requirement of the job? are people not allowed to acknowledge that reality?
@118 You don’t pitch the bitch.
Ana tomic gartmore
Alissa is the original. Num 1 and a class act! Gorgeous is obvious. She is kind, well connected, very smart with strong track record of raising assets. The others are wanna-bes.
I love when Bess gets a hard on (8).
We want pics of you, girl!
Alissa is a super stunner, very tied in to credit and well networked. That pic isn’t even so great! She’s also nice not like you jealous hacks not to mention with that wardrobe, she likely does better than you do. Def #1 – no contest.
Liz Bock is very pretty, tho a little weak on brains as the Burdick hires can be… Alissa Grad has leading package, and to last person, I agree on best dressed. No idea who Amaranth person is/was so not in same leage from looks/biz stance.
Tina Constanidededededes from Paulson is def top 5
few will know her, but set up a meeting immediately:
Beatriz Carrillo from COMAC must be #1… i.e. if she fails at IR for a closed hedge fund she could opt for swimsuit modeling.
right, Grad is “tied in to credit.” Zwirn is to credit what Jon Wood is to equities. You won’t get your money back from either.
oh, and Kim Delancey at Shaw is worth a nod.
simone at quantmetrics.
#128-kim is attractive but unfortunately she’s married
GS ficc analyst class – traders don’t hire unhot chicks
How lame are all of you? Do you ever leave your offices or is this all you have going on with your lives? You may have an MBA, but you all certainly have never left high school. First class people, really.
@11 start the admin list
@127 Be nice dude, Grad doesn’t work at Zwirn anymore- regardless, it doesn’t take away from her product knowledge and connections.