Over the last few weeks/months, a decent number of people have gotten their faces ripped off, little known fund managers like John Paulson included. There’ve been a lot of pity-parties, a lot of “why me” and a lot of JO&C. While one could take the approach of telling you to stuff it and take it like a man, we realize in this case, a slightly more sensitive touch is required. So I’m just gonna say this: you’re lucky all that’s been ripped of is your figurative face and not, say, chunks of your actual leg.
A drunk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter. The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man’s leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile. He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say. He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too drunk. The man, who was not named by the police, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) saltwater crocodile.
“Fatso has taken offence to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg,” Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists.
Malcolm Douglas, the park’s owner, said that the crocodile was capable of crushing a man to death with a single bite. “The man who climbed the fence was fortunate because Fatso was a bit more sluggish than normal, due to the cooler nights we have been experiencing in Broome,” said Mr Douglas. “If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality.”
The man staggered back to the pub bleeding heavily. Pub manager Mark Phillips said staff told him that the man reappeared at about 11pm with bits of bark hanging off him and flesh gouged out of his limbs.
Wat a pussy. I wudda made boots outa dat lizzard.
Chazzadile Dundee
Australia is like white Rwanda…
Bess, you complete me with your tags. Every one of them is pure gold.
P.S. this stuff used to happen at RenTec until the croc accidentally swallowed a pack of Pall Malls. Several employees got leather handbags for Christmas.
Crocodiles getting drunk eating the legs drunken idiots is the new killing it.
This kind of shit happens at AQR all the time, it’s no big deal.
Now I know how drunk you have to be to get kicked out of a pub in Australia.
After Fatso helped him sober up, and the man returned, did they pour him a pint, at least?
Jack off and cum?
hey could we get Keith Hahn update? haven’t heard anything about that guy in ages.
Getting eaten is the new killing it.
-not a lesbian
This is what happens when you let the inmates of a penal colony breed.
SAY UNCLE
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/a4018940-8f20-11df-a4de-00144feab49a.html
Clearly not in CNBC talking up his book enough.
“Bill Gross, co-head of Pimco, in January described the UK government bond markets as so volatile that they were “resting on a bed of nitroglycerine”.”
“However, the reverse has happened. Gilts have been one of the best-performing government bond markets of the year, becoming a haven from the troubles in the eurozone in recent months.”
“Pimco were not outright sellers of gilts, but set up a relative trade against Bunds, which fund managers say has been profitable.
“
I admire his spunk! This man should be praised not vilified! We need more like him!
God bless @2 for that comment.
~Macquarie Guy
when asked for comment on his wounds, mel gibson blamed the jews
Sounds like someone has been listening to Chopper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh6pZQX22CQ
@6/ 2C – I thought it was jerking off and crying.
Can anyone confirm/deny?
@14 – too soon…
@17 – no such thing
In Austrailiar, sitting on a croc is way for a man to impress a girl.
–Amandar
This reminds me of the time I got shit-faced and bought 600 pairs of Crocs from Zappos. Fortunately they have a lenient return policy, and I only had to keep the 200 pairs I actually wanted.