People are reportedly prettay prettay pleased at the House of Dimon this morning.
Communicated this morning: first year IB analyst top bucket $65K, second bucket $60K (first year base is $70K). JPM told analysts they “want to pay at the top of the market.” People are generally happy with the numbers.
What are the IT bonuses?
-Abu
0
we pay 70 base + 200 bonus plus all the burgers you can steal
@1 a half chewed snickers bar and a pat on the back
@1 – Rum-soaked Pellets! Yummy!!
Meet me at Minetta’s tonight. I’ll be the guy getting interviewed while posted up out front on my leased Porsche Boxter with the Asian and white girl on my arms (4/10 + 5/10 = 9/10, get on my level), making it drizzle with my second year analyst bonus. Damn it feels good to be a banker, baby!
wanna toggle my model, baby?
@1 Deodorant and a book on how to cook fish in the microwave
@6 don’t test me.
Bessar, what are ya plans for the weekend, sweetness?
Where are the clients’ bonuses?
Bess,
In fairness, 6′s use of fractions is making me feel better about my past encounters with females. Using his math, my number looks to be 116/10.
-Guy That’s Starting Off His Weekend Feeling Prettay, Prettay Good, and Might Just End Up With a 117 if He Plays His Cards Wrong (See: Drunk)
any idea on the 2nd year figures?
Any idea on 3rd and 2nd year figures?
1st year top bucket at CS Asset Management was 60K
@6 I believe the hotness scale of 1 to 10 has a true zero of 5. Anything below that actually acts pretty much as a negative in math terms. E.g. 4/10+5/10 = 5/10-4/10 = 1/10. Way to keep it banksta!
@ 12/FK, between the how many bottles did you buy model used in the caption contest and the fraction adding or modified carlin model used @6 I think we can all feel a little better about what we settle for every night that Bess continues to ignore our harassing emails.
@12 I’m referring to the sight of “minetta tavern” in comments when I specifically banned that (horrible, wasn’t funny after the 500th version) “joke” (in addition to “russia” “jokes”) two days ago. the next one (and the one after that, and that, and that) is just going to be deleted, no commentary provided.
@10 until you do this (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23832291-bankers-splash-out-pound-60000-on-bar-bill-after-jackpot-bet-on-election.do) Bess won’t be divulge her weekend shenanigans
@16- Do you measure temperature in Celsius, too, jackass?
-6
Wow… just wow…
@16 – agreed but according to you a 1 would subtract fewer points than a 4. With a true 0 set at 5, a 4 would only subtract 1 point. So a 5 and a 4 are really 0 and a -1 so the score is -1.
If any of yous watched Jersey Shore 2 last night, Ronnie may have done the combination scoring but think he ended up with an even lower score…
@16 if 5 is true zero, shouldn’t a 4 and a 5 combine to -1?
-STAR
@22 way too hungover to work out the intricacies of such complex system. Good observation though.
In Russia, Minetta taverns you!
OK @25 was actually funny
I respectfully submit that Canada, like UBS, sucks, respectfully.
James Arturo Dimon
@25 while I’m with Bess on the over use of both references, that made me chuckle
@25 BALLS!
What’s the effective tax rate in Manhattan? 50-55%?
Watch those numbers shrink…
I know I’ll get shat on for this question, but can someone explain the difference b/w “top bucket” and “second bucket”?
Thaaaaaaanks
4th bucket, 1st year, 30K. i suck.
@31 – A second bucket analyst sucks. A top bucket sucks marginally less.
@6 – Porsche Boxter, really? That’s a chick car.
I rather have a framed print of that analyst class photo in my cubicle then a bonus ANY DAY.
Top 3rd years at Deutsche were 110
MTA bus driver with some OT and a bit of luck makes over 200Gs a year
@34 no shit, you douchebag. get back to your desk working for your father..sorry.. MOTHER at Edward Jones and watch this.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid50177132001?bctid=245987660
@38, awesome.
@36 top bucket 3rd years are actually working in PE or HFs
@38 – Silly ugly short guy…hot chicks are for real men.
Chances that he pays for those chicks to drink and they go home with some other guy that actually has some height, confidence, and looks? High to very high.
Why are these numbers out now? Are they delayed from the beginning of the year?
top 2nd years @ 80k
Confirming 43′s testimony. 80 for top second yr.
What was top 3rd year
BofA first year?
Top 3rd yr 105
bofa first year 20k confirmed. at least we have debit cards and hot tellers
@38 wow that was fucking hilarious haha
What kind of douche actually thinks that sorry display equates to balling or anything even close to models and bottles? The attitude on that guy was like a bmw salesmen who thinks he is hard for driving the dealership’s demo…
@41 some short guys(albeit few)are still very attractive, why do you think height makes someone handsome? Guessing you have a small package and confidence issues
traders same bonus as IBD?
Any updates from UK on the numbers?