Generally, when the topic of Jamie Dimon comes up, vis-a-vis his nuts, and what people would like to do to them, the answers tend to veer toward “build a shrine to them,” “nuzzle them,” “gaze lovingly at them,” “have them rest on my chin,” “put them in my mouth” and “create a mold of them and rub for good luck.” Inflicting harm is almost never suggested, unless by a certain analyst who shows love via BDSM. Bucking that trend is a fellow named Sean Michael Carey. SMC wants Jamie hit where it hurts, on account of the fact that JD apparently owes him $142. “If you see him today punch him in the balls and say ‘Sean Michael Carey sends his regards, fucker’,” Carey wrote on the wall of the Facebook group he formed yesterday for the sole purpose of getting the message out. Carey adds that if you’re going to do this for him, please be advised:
Punch Jamie Dimon (CEO of JP Morgan/Chase) in the balls [Facebook via Daily Intel]
Bess – do you mean build a “shRine” to them? Honestly, I don’t know…some people may want to shine his nuts too.
Seems like he’s really put a lot of thought into this.
I have to personally say I would protect Jamie’s balls and take the punch for him, Lloyd on the other hand is fair game….
Bess, if you had Jamie’s balls all to yourself, what would YOU do?
Been a while has it Besser?
My browser has been crashing a lot lately or maybe its a shitty link. But why does this fool think Jamie owes him $142? Did Jamie forget to pay him for detailing his Jeep?
@6 he didn’t elaborate beyond the fact that Jamie owes him money.
So what is the $142 dollars for? Is this tied to anything involving tires in atlanta, which is apparently the new equities in dallas, the former opposite of killing it, although since sending out 4-5 resumes while ignoring subtle hints is apparently the new killing it I am quite confused. Should I be examining my motives?
Technically, Sean is a NY resident currently living in Berkeley, CA with his band, Vitamin Party.
@6 & 7, possibly Jamie never paid him for that bag of hash he allegedly delivered to his office by courier….
All the nut on nut violence has to stop.
In Soviet Russia, balls punch you!
@10, If that were the case I’d think JD would be small fry compared to the amount Jimmy Cayne probably owes this guy.
@5 yes, it has been a while since I nuzzled JD’s balls. He travels a lot you know and I have a pretty busy schedule as well.
@14 / Bess – nice one.
@12- Please grow a brain & come up with a new joke, that is, if you insist on using catchphrases
aah come back from two weeks’ vacation to this beauty of a post. Makes my return to this fucking oven of a city bearable. JD clearly needs to take a page out of Lloyd’s book–wouldn’t want to deliver a kick to the golden scrot now would we? A broken toe plus Lucas van Praag snickering in the background would be your reward.
I’ve had JD’s balls in my hands, a thing of beauty I tell you. I tried to nuzzle them but Lucas got jealous
From the Interwebs:
I need to go personally punch him in the balls.
My account of over 8 was flagged for fraud!! (I am a former employee I might add)
Frozen since June 22nd, I was told today that after ten more days my funds will be mailed to my house in check form.
Your account has been closed, thanks for the loyal service and all the money you’ve given us over the last decade, hope you didn’t need access to your remaining money for the better part of a month.