Anna Chapman, the Russian spy and former Barclays “slave,” who also claims to have been employed by Warren Buffett and may have tapped Dr. Doom’s ass, works her latest mark. [via NYP]
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
bess, I swear I am in love. Where do you find this shit?
Ever had sex with an uncircumcized muppet?
You’re giving me a rash, ginger.
Bad tooth-to-gum ratio, but fuck it, I’m cookie monster, what do i care?
A Portrait of Captain Kangaroo as a young woman.
@1 : when you read “[via NYP]“, where the fuck do you think it comes from, dumbass ?!
on seasame street, cookie monster do you!
@4 – so true, what’s with girls today?
Taking pictures with Sesame Street characters is a jinx.
– E. Stanley O’Neal
Cookie Cookie Cookie!
@4 You’re so funny Cookie Monster! We should hang out tonight.
-A Noel Sister
Me do anything for cookie!
Fuck the NYP for still claiming this chick is “sexy”. I was all about it after the first photo, but now my 6-to-12 has been replaced with a deep sense of regret and shame now that her true repugnance has been revealed
In my professional opinion, furries do not substitute the pleasure found within the confines of a canine’s cavity.
“Me love hairy chest monsters like you…or Nuriella”
Let me see your fur sweetie.
NOOKIE/MONSTER
Looking at the umbrella in the UR corner, this must be on-location for the Nuts4Sluts #15: Doin’ The Gundlach (custom 2-disc set with behind-the-scenes convexity calculations)
Anna can tickle my Elmo anytime she wants….
@16 nicely done
Alan Patricof came forward and said he might have been the target. But for our sake, let’s hope AC is slutty like T on a S and was also “targeting” Dr. Doom.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/29/alan-patricof-democratic_n_630098.html
“Your pec is non-existent Mr. Anal_yst”
-Anna Chapman
O’Chapman, seen here closing the deal with Cookie Monster, allegedly sought several such partnerships in her ongoing efforts to keep those damn kids away from her Lucky Charms.
oh no cookie monster, не западня меда
:(
You’re no Miss Piggy, but you’ll do.
Ugh, hair to skin tone contrast, combined with the gums, just, no.
@21
1. I’m not that hairy
2. I bench ~250, so yea, my pecs do exist.
wonder if she left him with blue balls
You can’t make this stuff up.
“Anna making my cookie dough rise.”
Left hand seems to be reaching. Going for a little pinky in the brown eye maybe? Little chocolate chip in the ole cookie?
In Soviet Russia, gums nosh teeth.
“I bench ~250, so yea, my pecs do exist.”
I always wanted to stick up for you, but this has gone too far.
C is definitely not for Cookie in this case
That red hair is just giving me the jiggers
In Soviet Russia, cookie eat you!
She should have stayed a brunette.
C is for Commie and it’s good enough for me……oh Commie Commie starts with C
This reminds me of a bar trivia team name, Muppets Like it elbow Deep
@33 Racist.
“I bench ~250, so yea, my pecs do exist.”
Sounds like something you’d hear at John Thomas Financial
D Rat “Market is obviously corrupt.”
http://rawstory.com/rs/2010/0630/ratigan-stock-market-obviously-corrupt/
Benching 250lbs on the Nautilus machine at a 45 degree angel with two pullies is the new killing it. (sin(250))/2 how bad is my math Anal?
SPODE
It was during her time as a “Slave” at Barclays that she found her obsession with all things blue and furries. It was her time visiting the set of Sesame Street that she found her true love.
Benching ~250 while drinking myoplex at the Manetta Tavern is the new “Goldman Sachs.”
I know this goes without saying, but everyone on this site is really really gay, including me.
@25, you’re absolutely right, not a good hair color at all. Light brunette or some blonde highlights would bring her skin tone and hair color into balance. And no more bright red nails. She’s a summer who thinks she’s a winter; she needs to go with a more subdued hair color and with lighter colors like pastels.
- Secretly Ashamed of How Much He Knows About Fashion
@25
Your need to try and rebut every off the cuff remark is pretty sad. You’re the definition of a beta male. See a therapist to fix the rabid insecurity, and SHUT THE FUCK UP KOUWANAL_YST.
@40 It’s 49
debralee needs to wrestle the spotlight back- we need a good old fashioned international slut cat fight.
As Ivan met yet again with the embedded asset who couldn’t figure out that blending in America was not possible with Russian Red #9, fending off children who were angling for a picture with him for reasons he could not understand, he was again questioning the Kremlin’s new softer, bluer uniform redesign. “At least,” he thought to himself, “I wasn’t a colonel stuck in that big red furry suit that Yuri was forced to wear.”
Nice plush.
@45
If you think I refute every remark, or even anything approaching every one, you’re the one who needs to get your head examined.
Also, be more funny.
#44 probably gets laid like carpet. You sneaky bastard.
this chick probably hang with the impossible is nothing dude.
When Anal_yst does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
F*ck her, I did.
Cookie Monster
I spy, with my little eye, something blue, da ba dee da ba die.
Anal_yst once counted to infinity, twice.
So there’s the Russian-Furry Connection…
i do eat 2 many cookies, but at least my carpet matches my drapes. slut.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Anal_yst.
When Jesus was dying on the cross, Anal_yst scolded him for crying, threw sand in his face, and screamed, “Get off the cross, faggot. We need the wood.”
NUTS NUTS NUTS NUTS NUTS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRv-yNAriag
Anal_yst, you write dumber shit than Kouwe.
- guy who thinks Dealbreaker.com Comments Section Poster ‘anal_yst’ writes dumb shit
@60 too soon
LIKE Cookie Monster is GOING TO BANG THAT?! COME ON!!! COME ON!!
Anal_yst please stop saying random bullshit. Stick to the topic at hand and try to not superimpose arrogance for a title you do not hold as a small loans lender for a rural community bank.
You made my cookie wet!
In communist Russia, Cookie Monster yiffs you.
Is this Dancing with the Stars chick gonna quit now and write a book?
Guys at my high school used to bench 250 all the time. It was no big deal.
Lol @69 What ever happened to that Yale grad anyways?
Cookie Monster’s head isn’t that round on S Street.
- Guy who takes offense at anatomically incorrect and life-sized plush creatures hugging Russian spies.
I hope she dies from eclampsia once that blue fuck knocks her up
@40 Simplifies to -cos(π/9)/2. Aside from that, looks good to me.
-Joe Cassano
Shout out to 745 seventh
why yes, those are cookies in my pocket….
I forgot to mention I’m an accomplished mascot.
–Aleksey Vayner
She holds a PHD from Moscow U in Fuzzy Math
@70 Last I heard, he skipped bail in Cyprus.
Benching 250 is something to be proud of if you weigh less than 150 and have exceptionally long arms.
Somebody send Anal_yst a “Dealbreaker 250 lb Club” tee shirt like the one I had when I was a skinny “pec-less” sophomore in high school….
The Kremlin Gremlin
yeast infection
I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes
Why did they die Elmo blue?
Cookie Monster just explained to Anna that he couldn’t perform oral sex on Miss Piggy because he is Jewish.
Three cheers for the red white and blue (and pink).
I bench 600 lbs.
-Guy who benches 600 lbs.
Lamest caption contest ever
I can bench press ~3 infidels.
-Koranal_yst
In Soviet Russia, bench presses you!
“N is for Nookie, that good enuff for me. Yeah, N is for Nookie, that good enuff for me.”
@86 …. So what? Our team counted to “infinity” twice!
~Former Lehman Quant
Come to my place and I’ll show you how real cookies are made
@72….Thanks for reminding me why my online clamp business isn’t doing so good.
~Pinchon Squeezer
CEO
eClamps, Inc.
Clasp, OH
After years of persistence, Cookie Monster finally gets his ‘hook’ into Keebler Village
~250<250
@Anal_yst
Grow a pair & take it easy. I don’t see you winning a Shortie Award in comedy either…turd!
Cookies N’ Tuna – Yummy.
Shotgun chocolate chip
@87 why don’t you be a little bitch about it? oh…oh wait.
What is “The SPY who SHAGGED me”, Alex?
Tell me Cookie-darling; can you introduce me to General Petreaus?
Good, better, Bess…
-The Wordsmith
“C iiiis for Commmmmie”
Yuri – Success! One step closer! Tell Boris that by this time next week I will have Mayor McCheese spilling all his secrets to that elusive “Special Sauce”!
I must take issue with @87, although Bess has preceded me on that count. I find some of the captions quite amusing and some even caused me to chuckle.
Guy who enjoys a chuckle.
“C” is for “cookie”; Now tell the KGB.
I can bench press you while you’re bench pressing 250 lbs!
Bess @99- I’ll be you’re little bitch
anyday
allday
6 ways from sunday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEnJDaqT3-0
I have never lifted my pecker for anything above 115lbs.
She’s cute in a ‘I-want-to-marry-you-so-I-can-divorce-you-later’ kind of way
@39 “The stock market … used to be a reflection of the future value of actual businesses in this country …”
Challenge.
PS please try to stay on topic. We’re playing hide the cookie in the microfilm container in this post.
I love this contest–cant believe it took so long to get to NOOKIEMONSTER tho—ameteurs
Dimitry – see attached. After the Fozzy Bear and Kermit dead-ends, it turns out that Cookie Monster is confirmed cousins with Mayor McCheese. The Holy Grail is close now – we are but a few chocolate chips from victory.
Russian Spies?! Great, next thing you know he will be ditching his healthy diet for cookies. We are doomed. They won.
“C” is not for Kremlin. Cookie Monster ain’t no dope.
In Soviet Russia, story steals kuowe
“Spies? What spies? Who told you that? ohhhh… those spies. Was that wrong? Should we not have done that? I tell ya,
I gotta plead ignorant on this one. Back in the cold war we did this sort of thing all of the time. If someone had told me this was frowned upon when I took this job….
Cookie monster finally found an oven he didn’t need to preheat.
In Russia, Bove dicks you
@ 44- Seconded.
The color does nothing for her except make her skin look pink.
I don’t get it. With Cookie Monster, she looks 37 and fugly. In her Facebook profile pic, she looks 18 and willing.
For once I’m completely in agreement with my partner. I’m not going down there. Do you know what those things can do? Suck the paint off your house and give your family a permanent orange afro.
BTW @16=@87 bitch!
You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
AC: You really are a fat bastard!
CC: You know, that hurts my feelings! I tried going on a diet, you know. The Zone, you know, “Carbs are the enemy,” eh?
But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man.
Question: How does she go from a smokeshow in the side view picture to Shrek’s girlfriend in the above ?
Dr. Doom meet Dr. Cookie
Buck teeth sink ships.
Done. And done.
P.S. You moderate comments? Why don’t they appear immediately and/or occasionally, never at all?
the best part about this photo is that it was taken RIGHT outside the barcap building in nyc. i see that blue guy every single day on my way home!
@115 that was funny
In communist Russia, hair dyes you. oy vey.
Putin Secretly Meets with Russian Spy
I used to picture Anal_yst looking something like ARS but now I imagine him with frosted tips and an Affliction shirt.
@121 shes an accomplished spy and hence can change her appearance whilst running through an underpass to confuse and evade followers…its standard trade craft , every spy knows that.
In fact, Anna is the one in blue, the other is a “doppelginger”
nasdarovya moy brad.
in soviet union, cookie eats you
Chapman: Cookie Monster. Did we not meet last Spring in Copenhagen on Sesame Street?
Cookie Moster: Nyet. I mean, No. It was last Winter in London. And don;t call me Cookie Monster. It’s Andy.
to be honest she’d still be eye catching in the street, it’s just a bad photo
- guy who likes photography
When asked by his superiors at DOJ why he would draw unnecessary attention to yourself during a sting, the Russian-speaking FBI agent posing as a Russian operative stated, “Have you seen her LinkedIn page? She’s into fantasy, sir.”
Cookie Monster shame after shock revelations of Soviet honeytrap plot to steal American cookie dough recipe.
Anna was direct to rub the undercover FBI agent’s nipple, before slipping him the passport..