Chris Bosh, on the floor of the NYSE, daring to dream. [NYP]
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Special report on how to short Lebron James
What do you mean J-Woww was here YESTERDAY? I thought it was today. That’s the only reason I left South Beach. Damn!
Those men wanted to have sex with me!
“Eh.. Someone teach this Citi guy how to give a blowjob. The boys at Goldman–now they know how to give a good a BJ.”
Okay, pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, “Hey, we’re losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain’t gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain’t gonna f… my wife ain’t gonna make love to me if I got no money!” So they’re panicking right now, they’re screaming “SELL! SELL!” to get out before the price keeps dropping. They’re panicking out there right now, I can feel it.
Wall Street III – Money for my Bitches..starring an anorexic Chris Rock (directed by Spike Lee)
@6
You fucking beat me to it. bastard
I dont care how much money you made last year chump. Real ballas can wear their own cocks as a necktie.
“Any of y’all came here expectin’ to hear that Buckwheat shit can get the fuck out right now.”
Wideclops’ protege gets lost on his way to the back office. Notes to self: “Install GPS in Fuck-Me Boots.”
he rolled on Old Spice and became a real man
Howard Cossell: look at that monkey suit!
@5
Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That’s the other guy’s problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series – they don’t know what pressure is. In this building, it’s either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you’re up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don’t go to college and they’ve repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?
Yeah, we got to kill the motherfuckers, we got to kill ‘em!
NBA > CFA > MBA
fo real… you guys got the new PSP here?
Hey that’s the motherf- I mean… that’s the gentleman that had me busted.
You got HOW MANY TV’s up in dis bitch???
Dy-no-mite!
Whic’ buttin’ does I punch fo’ the money to come out on this damn little TV thing? That’s it! Go Hybrid Go! Oh SH*T, I just spilled watermelon all over it!. $@#@!
Is he wearing a tuxedo? I think he is.
Is that a picture of one of the new bathroom attendants?
- Quant? Quant.
@19 I wish you were funny.
This is NOT the royal penis.
Will the defendant please rise.
What happened?! I had this delightful little comment about motives and their examination as well as a charming reference to the former USSR, but it the dealbreaker sever said nein!
Billy Ray Valentine… Capricorn
@25 – you were obviously posting too quickly.
Why is there a reverse-albino cloner from Star Wars on the NYSE floor?
What the problem is?
@29 – NBA ballers is what the subprime is in trouble.
Bess, this was a bad choice for caption Thursday, given the company that resides on this site.
@19 wow. Racist and anti-funny, can’t be both.
@27 Yeah it mentioned that. Get back on your wheel hamster!
@31 yeah, it’s *my* fault.
@19 et al I’m not interested in your Michael Richards-inspired humor, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because it’s not funny at all and rather than letting you go on thinking otherwise, feel it would be in your best interest to let you know you suck now so you can rectify the problem.
What a shitty tie knot.
-Guy who takes his tie knots seriously
How did E.T. get on the floor of the NYSE? And who put him in a suit?
@ 29 You’re messing with Earl and Hank. What the problem is?
@37 Nicely done. I couldn’t figure out who he reminded me of…now I know.
If NBA > CFA > MBA, how does NBA compare to the Harvard Extension School?
Thats it… a stupid ringing bell… If im doin this thang its playing some 50 up in here !
I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish, okay?
“Next year, I might just own this whole place… unless LeBron turns out to be the punk-ass bitch everyone thinks he is.”
“ohh man these bar trivia games get harder every time. Gotta lay off that chronic.”
I wonder why any of these people go to the NYSE floor. It’s a morgue populated by illiterates holding on for dear life. Nothing happens after 9:35 and now its just a CNBC set.
You guys want me to break something else?
get money & get paid
“I’ll be taking my talents downtown”
@31 – shut your mouth.
@Bess – another classic post, thank you.
“let’s see an ECN rock a fresh peaked lapel”
who let the Wachtel intern on the floor?
@45
Ya gotta admit, the NYSE floor would make a helluva event space…
@46 FOR THE FUCKING WIN
Now wait just a damn minute!! Y’all told me J-Lo was gonna be hangin’ here…look around at y’all, WTF is this place, Little Italy. Buncha damn guidos runnin’ around all hot-n-bothered. Hey, Spicoli, get that Marinara offa my fine leather kicks!! WTF, where’s the damn door to this place, reminds me of a FOWG museum. Y’all chill…
@53 the Amex would/will make a better one. That shit begs to be a nightclub.
15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance
- Geico Gecko
@58 LOL
“Where my Tetris at? This game boy is ghetto.”
@57 you are a genius
What the hell is a swap? Is that like the tv show wife swap?
“ATTN DOUGLAS & CREW: How ya’ll gon’ pick Shia over me?”
-MANAGING! DIRECTOR
dyyyynoooomiiiiiite!
i thought Avatar was just a movie…
(stupid honkies, and their Potash jokes)
horrible suit and tie. looks like a brit banker.
@45 the NYSE could actually make money off the space by hosting the 2012 X-Games.
Does this make me look edumicated?
Porn Star>NBA>MS>CFA>MBA
If Lloyd’s paying Lebron and Vikram’s paying Dwayne Wade then I guess Jamie’s paying somewhere around Chris Bosh.
@71 I see what you did there
Hello, ladies, look at your trader, now back to me, now back at your trader, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented trading software and switched to Old Spice, he could trade like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could trade like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man trades like Fabulous Fab and not a lady. I’m on a horse.”
“110 million, how about you guys?”
@3…best line ever
You know I wore the same suit as Lebron when all three of us got interviewed right? So I’m kinda like Lebron. Except I suck.
Wearing a tie clip with a Bentley logo is the new killing it.
@72-thanks, I tried to make it as witty as I could but I’m hungover as fuck and looking at Facebook pictures of the girl I banged last night I’m pretty sure that was wrong and I should not have done that.
Who been puttin’ they Kools out on my carpet? That’s a Persian rug, from Persia!
These post are funny. Yet Chris Bosh is still more successful than all of you.
@ 78/71 frp, 72: I could tell that you kind of butchered the turn of phrase but I still respected the effort.
I like to cache these debates in terms of bottles. If you only bought 1 or 2 (shame on you), well at least you slayed her. If you got 10 and she’s still a dog, you should probably take the weekend off to examine your movtives.
frp = from… also hungover
@81 Great caption star, really fucking hilarious.
@82 Picked her up playing beer pong in the village, looks like my motives are as sound as good be, thanks for seriously brightening up my mornging-71
Hmmmm … That’s strange …
Why is the IBM specialist wearing a cape?
It’s not even cape weather right now …
Very strange …
Haha, #26 wins in a landslide.
How do I buy futures on Cristal?, cuz we go’in to be winin’ a lot of Championships…..
Minettas. There, I said it.
Mine’s Bigger. My Cucumber. It’s bigger.
The comments here are ridiculously racist. Bosh is highly regarded as one of the more intelligent and thoughtful NBA players. Plenty of people argue that he doesn’t have superstar recognition because he doesn’t fit the NBA stereotype. I am ashamed that dealbreakers readers have so little respect.
time to buy some potato futures bitch
i really do look like a raptor