The people who work at the SEC are awesome. Given. The greatest minds on Wall Street, you’d be hard-press to find a group of more impressive individuals. Their accomplishments are far too many to mention but to name just a few: Guinness Book of World Records holder for most attempts to log on to manboyjuice.com during the course of the business day, missed astounding number of scams even when they were literally all up in their grills over and over and over again, and so on and so forth. And while they’re used to the kicking of ass and the taking of names (just par for their course) and the unending accolades, it’s still gotta be a pretty proud day when when of their own is publicly recognized like this:

The lawsuit is explosive — in it, 55-year-old Leicester Bryce Stovell claims he met Gloria in a D.C. area bar in 1984 … and had unprotected sex with her on the night they met. He later found out she was 15-years-old at the time … he was 29. But the man making the claim isn’t some schmuck — dude is a Princeton graduate … who earned a law degree from the University of Chicago … and then became a Senior Legal Advisor for the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

In his suit, Stovell claims he has a very clear recollection of the night he had “consensual sexual relations” with Gloria — in fact, he even remembers apologizing for his sub-par performance…Leicester — a self-proclaimed high school star athlete — says he remembers telling Gloria, “Well, if he’s mine, make sure he plays basketball.” He claims that was the last time he saw Gloria for more than 20 years.

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Comments (50)

  1. Posted by Anal_yst | July 8, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    Knocking up a girl half your age – when you’re 29 – is the new killing it?

  2. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    @1, Always has been. Bess, was the “par for their course” line a play on the “apologizing for his sub-par performance” line?

  3. Posted by There's always a critic | July 8, 2010 at 4:25 PM

    okay … wow … that’s a wrap.

  4. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:26 PM

    The joke potential for this thread is enormous.

  5. Posted by Fag H8tR | July 8, 2010 at 4:26 PM

    Is there a statute of limitations on statutory rape in whatever placed the black man raped the black female?

    Additionally, what a black!

  6. Posted by Anal_yst. | July 8, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    Standing on a bar room floor naked, before spitting Myoplex in a man’s face and punching him in the mouth repeatedly is the new “killing it.”

  7. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    “I shall name him LeBron, after the Chrysler automobile he was conceived in,” proclaimed Gloria.

  8. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:30 PM

    I remember a similar event long ago and I told her, “Well if he’s mine, have Yoda teach him to use “the Force”.

    ~D. Vader
    85 Broad Street
    New York, NY

  9. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:33 PM

    @5 No the DoJ just turns its head like with certain voter intimidation cases. Holder for President 2012

  10. Posted by Anal_yst | July 8, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    @7 bringin’ it, very nice.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:42 PM

    “I shall name him LeBrawn after the paper towel nearby…”

  12. Posted by Bike | July 8, 2010 at 4:45 PM

    So let me guess, Leicester thinks he’s due a taste of LJ new contract?

  13. Posted by NakedShort | July 8, 2010 at 4:46 PM

    I shall name him LeTron after the 1982 science fiction film produced by Walt Disney Pictures

  14. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:47 PM

    Say, am I the only one on Intrade with a bet he signs with the Memphis Grizzlies?

    -G. Michaels

  15. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:48 PM

    The SEC will have to change its name like the MMS did after its scandals:

    “Secretarial Order 3302, issued June 18, 2010 renames the Minerals Management Service to the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation, and Enforcement (BOEMRE). The name change is effective immediately.”

  16. Posted by guest | July 8, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    Okay, let me get this straight. Mr. Stovell is suing these people because they allegedly interfered with his attempts to prove he committed statutory rape on a 15 year old he’d just met at a bar? When he was 29? And probably already admitted to the other kind of bar?? The kind which disbars people (or declines to admit them in the first place) if it finds out about little indiscretions like this???

    Genius. Pure genius, these SEC dudes.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    I shall name him LeBra after the thing that holds LeTits

  18. Posted by racist | July 8, 2010 at 4:53 PM

    “Look at ‘im. He light skin jus like his mama. He a li’ bron boy. Ain’t dat right li’ bron boy? Mama’s li’ bron boy. Aw shoot, dat what I’m gone call ‘im. Libron.”

  19. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:58 PM

    @17- nice work.

  20. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    Is a side-by-side slam-dunk comparison considered compelling evidence in paternal suits?

    -guy who can hardly dunk a donut, but is still curious.

  21. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    CFA > NBA

  22. Posted by CMBS 4-Life | July 8, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    Less Stovill is the new Thomas Jefferson. Too bad they didn’t have professional bas-kit-ballz back in those days, or doo-rags/rims/grape soda.

  23. Posted by Le Royal with Cheese | July 8, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    At 915 pm Art Modell will help Lebron James pack his bags live on ESPN! Tune in

  24. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    Att’n DB readers: got L, e, B, r, and o. Looking for one more person to paint the n on their belly and stand with us outside MSG.

    –Z. Kouwe

  25. Posted by guest | July 8, 2010 at 5:11 PM

    @13/NS Greatest. Film. OfAllTime


  26. Posted by Suh Mah Dih | July 8, 2010 at 5:18 PM

    Is there an SOL on statutory rape?

  27. Posted by yb detsop | July 8, 2010 at 5:28 PM

    Gloria’s sorta like 7-11, she may not always be open, but she’s always doing business.

  28. Posted by hoser | July 8, 2010 at 5:30 PM

    At the risk of actually providing information, it appears that the statute of limitations in ohio is 20 years from when she turned 18.


  29. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 5:38 PM

    I shall name him LeProm, after where he fell out of me

  30. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 5:43 PM

    If he met her at a bar, then the bar is responsible and he’s off the hook… right? RIGHT?!

  31. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    @28 Glad you knew where to look for that

  32. Posted by Texashedge | July 8, 2010 at 5:52 PM

    @30, exactly, it also doesn’t count if she SAYS she’s 18

  33. Posted by gentleman trader | July 8, 2010 at 6:03 PM

    ohio is likely not applicable as she was “allegedly” picked up at a d.c. area bar.

  34. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    @18 FTW!

  35. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 8:13 PM

    @1 Anal_lyst that’s always been killing it

  36. Posted by guest | July 8, 2010 at 8:20 PM

    Grass on the field, amirite?
    – sick fuck

  37. Posted by guest | July 8, 2010 at 9:18 PM

    21 = racist. examine your motives.

  38. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    Who hasn’t banged LeBron’s mom?

    -DeLonte West

  39. Posted by dissident | July 8, 2010 at 10:51 PM

    Learn to spell surprise right!

  40. Posted by Airhead | July 8, 2010 at 11:13 PM

    In fairness to women, men are terrible gold diggers! If they can suck your bone marrow they’ll do it.

  41. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 11:43 PM

    Did anyone actually read the complaint? This dude sounds like a moron. Not only does it call into question his legal skeeelz, but it demonstrates he can’t even write a coherent sentence. SEC sure is (was) getting top quality from their senior legal advisers.

  42. Posted by Anonymous | July 8, 2010 at 11:44 PM

    You are filing lawsuits too slowly. Please speed up.

  43. Posted by Big Black Man | July 9, 2010 at 5:23 AM

    They is suck the dick!

  44. Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2010 at 7:14 AM

    @27 you and your fucking rope…

  45. Posted by Anonymous | July 9, 2010 at 8:06 AM

    I shall name him Lebouf, after the greatest actor/CFA/day trader of our time

  46. Posted by sladd | July 9, 2010 at 8:12 AM

    Who knew the SEC was filled with oversexed workers trying to live out the fantasy everyday, internet porn apparently is not enough

  47. Posted by TraderBoy | July 9, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    “Look at this mouth, look at these eyes look at these ears look at this hair line” “they match!” “they match the hairline the ears, the mouth, the nose,the eyes the everything.”

    “you know damn well this yo baby! you know this yo baby!” “10 month old baby, dante…you are not the father”

    Dat baby don’t look like me!

  48. Posted by EvilBuzzard | July 9, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    The performance may have been sub-par, but apparantly something dribbled out. LaBrain fathered LeBron?

  49. Posted by Finnegan | July 11, 2010 at 1:37 AM

    Some white people love to try to make jokes in the perceived dialect of uneducated blacks. Generally it doesn’t work. At least not up in here.

  50. Posted by Don | July 15, 2010 at 6:45 PM

    I wouldn’t have hit on a 15 year old when I was 18. That he was a highly educated 29 year old is reprehensible. Where can you find the full story? As an attorney doesn’t he hold a higher degree of due care and responsibility to our laws and values than the general society? His license to practise law is the property of the state and not his. The state in which he is licensed should be made aware that he may violated the law, failed to report during his renewal period and subsequently admitted to the crime once the technicality of the statute of limitations wore off. Likewise, the SEC and the administration should go after him for being an absolute disgrace.