The new JPMorgan analysts smile for their class picture this morning.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Ratio looks ok…
How can you even tell at this resolution?
And ‘ad hoc hiring’ has become the sweetest thing my ears ever did hear. Nothing like skipping behavioral questions for which everyone practices answers in favor of skipping straight to the hard stuff.
lot of white folks
A: I’d like a warm glass of milk
JPM: I CAN GET YOU A WARM GLASS OF SHUT THE HELL UP
JPM: YOUR IN MY WORLD NOW GRANDMA.
P.S. Welcome to hell analysts this will be the last time you see daylight before your testicles and ovaries are removed and replaced with yellow comments that ask you to change the font perpetually.
I’m sure there’s some sort of racial “where’s waldo” joke here…
–guy who is examining his motives
Let’s all wear the same thing.
Keith Hahn’s farewell letter comes to mind.
“Look to your right. Now look to your left. One of these people has just sharted in their pants.”
It looks like a class photo from a private school.
I wonder what it feels like to come over on the Mayflower and end up riding the Amistad for the next few years.
NUMMY NUMMY
Not enough darks. The newly formed affirmative for affirmative action committee will cause an uproar soon. Maxine Waters to the rescue, affirmative.
The 1st years may go, but the bedbugs will stay…
I regret I will never have this opportunity.
WHIRRR, BEEP, BEEP.
–STAR
Does mid/back office receive the honor of being photographed?
-Jeffer
Where do JPM chicks go to get picked up at night? I haven’t had my kielbasa waxed by a JPM chick in a while. I nailed a GS chick two weeks ago after picking her up at the Metropolitan.
I just wish there was one ballsy analyst in John Daly attire
@11 Pretty sure they make up for the dark to white ratio in their settlements team. Trust me I know from experience.
-Guy who knows from experience.
@16 Drunk?
@ 18, sure and wearing understated trousers/ blazers…maybe even smoking during the pic
@ 18, That comment seemed extremely intolerant of bros who like to rock some rather loud apparel and enjoy a sip of whiskey as well as the occasional cigarette and a game of chance every now again, examine your motives.
-Guy who thinks being John Daly is the new being John Merriweather in the 80s.
On the count of 3, everyone say “PROP TRADER!”
@20, Im with you, we need more JDs
Actually the class is about 30% colored, but they stood for a separate (but equal) photo
John Daly CFA (Chartered Fucking Asskicker) level 7 > Jamie Dimon
@15 – Connolly’s on 47 is the easiest. Upstairs. Just say you are an MD at GS and all is good.
Is that Keith Hahn in the back row?
@20 I approve this comment.
Clinton P. Angstrom
President, John-Daly-Looking Motherfuckers of America (JDLMA)
@26 yes, he photo-bombs every analyst class pic.
John Daly > John Meriweather > white spittle between my lips > John Corzine
-18
yes, yes, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT, no, no, no, HELLS YEAH, eh maybe, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, if i was drunk.
@25 which one on 47th? there are two.
-guy not from NYC but will go just to shoot all over a JPM chick’s face
I’m excited for our group’s incoming pledge(s).
- guy contemplating imbedding the worst circular reference known to mankind and handing it off to the fresh meat
i like that hottie in the black
@BL Thank God
@31- the nearby one (Madison or so.) The one to the east seems more IT: they fuck better, but don’t dress as nice.
@30 = Low Standards
@32 – F9
-One of those plebes above
I presume this is the IB class?
- guy who meekly asks potentially stupid questions.
“Great picture. Now everyone get in the one cab we hired and it’s off to lunch.”
i did that one guy
the white guy
@38
It might be the Asset Management/Private Bank class, with all of those legs in the pic…
Are there guys standing on banker boxes in what looks like the third row?
Betcha there’s not one Jewish (or Druish) person in that group.
-Guy who knows JPM isn’t Jew-friendly
@25 — which Connolly’s? There are TWO establishments on 47th with that name – one east of Lex and the other west of Fifth.
@42 – This is in front of 277 Park. IB would be 383 Madison (the old BSC building). 245 Park is AM while 277 Park is a mix.
They should be doing this in front of 270 Park (the mothership with the bitchin black marble edifice for “JPMorgan Chase & Co” but the sidewalk is torn up and it looks like crap right now.
@37 I’ll take your cute little “f9″ response and raise you “interest expense” and a whole handful of other very annoying calculations that Excel just does not like one iota
@16 love it
48 = Jamie?
That quite a herd of sheep
yea i walked by them on my way to 299 and could tell they were a summer analyst class immediately. figured jpm since they were infront of the jpm building…
Fast forward 2 yrs: the average person in that group will have gained 20lbs, lost a bunch of hair, probably got laid a total of 0-2 times (one of which was a drunken one night stand with a HR chick/IT guy that they don’t remember), developed a nervous twitch and generally aged about 15 yrs.
Good Luck.
@51 Great value add!…And your powers of deduction are uncanny…why are you wasting your talents on message boards when there are so many unsolved crimes in the city?
so dweeby
The group is cycle 1 of the investment banking class (cycle 2 is scheduled to train from mid-August to mid-October). BTW, I AM in the picture, so this should clarify all doubts about who they are.
@55 thanks for clarifying d-bag. bragging anonymously is akin to jerking off on an airplane
i wonder if they take the pis of the white basketball players separately too? OMg u ppl are pathetic.