Yesterday a fellow named Sean Michael Carey started a Facebook group called “Punch Jamie Dimon (CEO of JPMorgan Chase) in the Balls,” the stated purpose being exactly that. He didn’t say why he wanted someone to inflict harm on JD’s (glorious, possibly cup-protected) sack, only that after doing so, you should add “Sean Michael Carey sends his regards, fucker.” Today Daily Intel found out the source of SMCs beef toward James: after bouncing a few checks, Chase froze his account and said they were investigated him for check fraud. And then:
“I get a letter that says if it comes back that I haven’t committed fraud, they would mail me a check in ten to fifteen days.” Carey was pissed: JPMorgan had hijacked all of his cash, and he had no recourse. “I’ve spent, in the last week, about nine hours on hold with customer service,” he said. “It’s so not like that when you’re an employee [which he was, back in the day]. You get right through.” Frustrated, he turned to Facebook: “I wanted to punch someone. Not one of the customer-service people, it was like, I wanted Chase Manhattan personified. When I got home, I thought: The CEO, that’s who I want to punch,’” he said.
Man Explains Why He Would Like to Punch Jamie Dimon in the Balls [Daily Intel]
Do you need a reason?
I bet the people he bounced checks to would like to punch Sean Michael Carey in the balls.
Clearly, Chase doesn’t have an “escalation department” like AT&T has when customers are driven to distraction.
For those of you who are going to spice up your comment with the Spanish slang for “balls” please remember that balls are “pelotes” or “huevos” (eggs) and testicles, nuts, etc., are “cojones”.
“Cajones” are desk drawers like where Gundlach kept some adult videos and toys.
“Conejos” are rabbits.
Thank you.
@4 ¿oh, because Spanish is “spicy,” you racist gabacho spelling Nazi?
… ugh retail plebs eww
It’s common knowledge that the way UK oil traders solve their problems is by throwing punches.
Bounce a check? Blame Wall Street
Forget to pay your mortgage? Blame Wall Street
Get crabs from your wife because she banged a junior analyst from Goldman Sachs one night when she was really drunk but you still love her and don’t know what to do because you have kids and she’s much hotter than any woman you could ever get? Blame Wall Street
Hey, Spanish dictator Francisco Franco @4: There aren’t any fascists for you to push around here. Examinista su motivismos.
~Ernest Hemingway
Harry’s Bar
Paris, FR
@8 FTW….A classic
@4 – Is that you Language Briefer?
-guy who is not the Language Briefer or Joke Briefer but will take the title of Russian Reversal Briefer
In Soviet Russia, check bounce you!
Clear Thoughts Hotel
97050 Dallas Parkway
Frisco, TX, US, 75034
Guest: Carey, Sean M.
Room: 122
Rate: $87.00/Night
***********************
Charges to Room
***********************
1 dozen brown “hackey sacks”…………………………$ 38.00
Scream Mask……………………………………………….. 22.00
4 bags men’s hair clippings…………………………… 18.00
Tube Elmer’s Glue……………………………………….. 4.00
1 oz Roger Clemens brand “Testicle Oil”………… 18.00
Video: “Nut Punching”………………………………….. 9.00
Life Size Photo “Jamie Diamond”…………………….. 342.00
Nolan Ryan Brand athletic supporter………………. 18.00
Meatball Sandwich……………………………………… 9.50
Biography: Willie Morris………………………………. 32.00
Book: Nuts of the Rain Forest………………………. 27.00
Jeff Macke Photo Key Chain………………………… 6.50
Lenny Dykstra “Twizzler” Baseball Cup…………… 31.00
Freshman Textbook: “Balancing My Checkbook” 22.00
Rosetta Stone Phrasebook: “Testicles!”…………. 46.00
One steel toe boot (right foot)…………………….. 18.00
Quicken for Dummies………………………………… 17.50
Guerrilla Guide to Tire Dumping in Atlanta…….. 28.00
“Nuts” by Gen. MacAuliffe……………………………. 29.00
Large Testicle Looking Punching Bag in room… 168.00
1 order calf fries……………………………………….. 14.00
4 cans Delaware Punch……………………………… 8.00
@12 thanks for that.
@12 FTW
@9 – Harry’s Bar is in Venice. Thanks for playing.
-a frequenter of said establishment
So, Bess Levin just picked apart the New York Magazine article, left out most of the details and put her name on it?
Sean Michael Carey might be gunning for her nuts next.
Oddly enough, many, many people would like to (I never PRINT) vulgarisms. Kick Jaime Dimon! Once a very well respected businessman, he has definitely fallen from grace. His involvement in precious metals price fixing alone, makes him an evil man. J.P. Morgan, along with seven other “Bullion Banks,” are under indictment for both Civil and Criminal charges. These charges are wide-ranging and severe. They go back a number of years. It is truly sad to see this great nation. A so called “beacon of freedom and democracy,” tainted by a scandal of worldwide proportions. If you are truly interested in justice, don’t believe me! Simply visit the search engine of your choice. But please, do it soon. And save our economy by contacting your Senator, and the White House! Remember, we still have a government, ” of the people, by the people and for the people.” But for how long?
@17 – do you have details? I’d love to include them in my next wholly objective documentary. I’m going to call it “Goldman and Dimons, a Commodities Romance.” And, it’s OK – I’m perfectly OK saying all of the fucking bullshit that you don’t feel comfortable saying.
@16 – let’s see . . . she printed an excerpt, acknowledged the source, and added some commentary relevant to this site.
Yup, that sounds like a perfectly appropriate blog article. Run along now, please.
JD’s head is with the wrong body.
There’s a Harry’s Bar in Paris too.
- the guy who thinks you’ve only been to europe once and wants to look like he spent a lot of time there but hasn’t and I know it.
Located at 5, Rue Daunou, between the Avenue de l’Opéra and the Rue de la Paix in Paris, France, the bar was acquired by former American star jockey Tod Sloan in 1911, who converted it from a bistro and renamed it the “New York Bar.” Sloan had gone partners with a New Yorker named Clancy (no one seems to know his first name) who owned a bar in Manhattan. That bar was dismantled and shipped to Paris. Sloan then hired Harry MacElhone, a barman from Dundee, Scotland, to run the place.[1] At the time, American tourists and members of the artistic and literary communities were beginning to show up in Paris in ever-increasing numbers and Sloan hoped to capitalize on his fame and make the place a spot where expatriates would feel at home. His bar did become a popular spot for members of the American Field Service Ambulance Corps during World War I. However, financial problems from Sloan’s overspending on a lavish personal lifestyle forced him to sell the bar, and in 1923 it was acquired by MacElhone, its former barman, who added his name to the bar, and who would be responsible for making it into a legendary Parisian landmark and, arguably, the most famous bar in the world.
This is up and The Huffington Post now too.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/conan-neutron/why-the-ceo-of-jp-morganc_b_641980.html
complete with picture of the aspiring nut kicker
The comments are much more in Carey’s camp there.
up *AT* the HuffingtonPost… sorry…