Yesterday we mentioned newly divorced single mom Cheryl Mercuris, of the Tampa Bay Mercurises, was looking for a new husband. To that end, she’d invested her (own) money (she’s a “direct marketing entrepreneur”) in a $250,000/week rental in Bridgehampton. At the time, any of you scoffed at this flagrant waste of money but Cheryl, a “a self-made millionaire” knew you gotta spend money to make money. And following yesterday’s personal ad in the Post announcing her presence out East, Single and Ready To Mingle reports the plan is paying off in spades.
“It was worth every penny,” S&M said. “I’ve never had more fun, and I’ve never met as many exciting people and such friendly people — not to mention the publicity.” She has apparently been “inundated” with phone calls and emails from “guys looking to cozy up to her,” including but not limited to:
* A guy who may work in a boiler room: “Cheryl I saw your article in the post I’m a young guy working in the brokerage business right here in Long Island,” wrote one of her many gentleman e-mailers. “I would like to show you around.”
* And a 29-year-old investment banker who is also a former college basketball player. “I was reading the Post today and saw your picture in an article and thought that you are very beautiful,” he e-mailed. “Next time when you are in Manhattan I would like to take you to dinner or just drinks. I know my age might scare you but I am a very mature, hard working businessman. I am tall (6′ 7) so not sure if that scares you,” he wrote. “Let me know if you would like to meet for drinks or coffee one day.”
Where the hell is the IR Dime’s list?
- Moody’s Analyst
Isn’t she the owner of that telemarketing scam quality resources?
Don’t be afraid of my depth, girth, or the general cavern-like feel of my box.
-Cheryl Mercuris, of the Tampa Bay Mercurises
@2 yes–don’t give her your real #.
So far she would have saved $249,960 by going on match.com
@BessLevin: What is your plan to land a husband? -@MyMomSaysI’mACatch
She looks like she needs someone who can bench at least 250.
no hand bridge required
I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THAT MOTHERFUCKING TORSO.
Hi my name is George; I am unemployed and live with my parents.
She told me to give her 12 inches and hurt her….so I banged her twice and hit her over the head with a brink….OOOHHHHHHHH
-guy who thinks Dice still rules
Nicely done @7.
I know there’s this guy that can bench around 250. And he’s pretty used to going out with chicks and not getting with them. Maybe he can almost bang her too.
there are brokerages on long island???
@13 yeah, but they don’t pitch the bitch so Cheryl’s out of luck.
-guy who makes $2 Rips!!
No land bridge required!
-Long Island Broker/Baller
@3 nice work…
Huge box, gold-digger, and needs a douche who can bench 250? Where’s anal_yst?
How old is her kid again?
-The Eggman
Lady, you’re seriously freaking me out. Please get your left eye checked out, it’s trying to escape on the side of your cheek.
-Guy who likes symmetrical women
buttaface…
@11 “HERE’S TO YOU…….”
BEEP BOOP BEEP
I RECENTLY FOUNDED A HEDGE FUND AND WAS FEATURED IN THE WSJ… PERHAPS YOU HAVE HEARD OF IT. PERHAPS WE COULD MEET FOR COFFEE
-STAR
@22 = not born in english speaking country
what a natural beauty!
-SEC trannalyst
She sure got a purdy mouth…
“Dinner or just drinks” then “drinks or coffee”. Eenie meenie minie moe. Forgot to mention that I am also a eunuch.
…losing confidence as I type…
@22 star impostor fail, kill yourself.
@22/STAR
All algebra, trigonometry can never equal up to what you do to me
so, let’s integrate don’t differentiate. If you were in my class
there’s ain’t no way I could pass. Not even philosophy can ever come between us but we will always have our calculus.
I know my calculus it says U + ME = US
-Erin Burnett
@20
No.
At the center of the “but her face” (or more colloquially “butterface” or “buttaface”, as you opted to use) paradigm is the idea that the referenced individual is attractive in all respected “but her face”.
Your use of this phrase in reference to Cheryl Mercuris, (of the Tampa Bay Mercurises) seems indicate a failure on your part to comprehend the subtle nuances inherent to this phrase and proper its usage, or a tragic frame of reference to which you are apply it (or perhaps a third option: have the vision and judgment of a hammered David Paterson). In any event, the best course of action is for you to check yourself, lest your wreck yourself
@29 Take him, whore.
I’ve got KR.
-MB
Somebody needs to tell her that before I was born, God told me I could have either a big dick or a photographic memory and for the life of me I can’t remember which one I chose.
@30 Slow. Down.
@30= I’d hit it, but from behind and with my eyes closed. Although my barometer might be skewed compared to your standards, it just how I roll… word! -@20
She should sit back down.
@30 is really funny if you read it like Captain James T. Kirk would say it.
29,
OH, THAT IS RICH. LIKE YOU EVEN KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT LOVE.
Grrrr. Verrrv. Boop.
She looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife after a 30-hour breast reduction procedure.
@32 Nice I’m stealing that quote thanks
Any guesses as to whom the 29 year old i banker / former college basketball player might be ? Someone out there knows…
Does STAR’s onamonapia make anyone else laugh inappropriately?
@26 points out that the “Investment Banker” might not, ya know, actually be, an Investment Banker, what, with the lack of attention to detail and all…
/ironical comment
@29
Got this smarty math chick to whom I pose this question
I read a couple books to add to her soul’s progression
To put this in laymen’s term, I gave her some knowledge
She gave me, brains in return, she had to drop out of college
Knowin she does this homework, I give her in house tutoring
In and out I’m movin through her student body union and
She, call me professor, say daddy come and test her
So she could fail on purpose and repeat the semester
I’m like, at this rate ma you never graduate
She said, I aint no fool I make it up in summer school
-
For real, someone joke brief me on “STAR”?
-Not an AIG/Leh Quant
There’s an important phrase that we use here, and think it’s time that you all learned it. Act as if. You understand what that means? Act as if a gold digger 25 years your senior would be actually interested in a guy with gel in his hair and a leased 2006 3-Series. Act as if putting two references to “scaring you” in a four sentence email doesn’t scream creepster. Okay? Act as if.
- young guy working in the brokerage business right here in Long Island
@43 – the search box is your friend.
@43
Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to joke brief you on “STAR” — because of regulations.
- 1337
@43 STAR is Cleverbot’s long lost cousin
FTW@32. Lol. Comment of the year.
Fucking jerks. The lot of you.
@49/Spencer Greenberg, BEEEP TWERT ZIRLL BOOOOP CLIZACK
@41 WTF is onamonapia? Get schooled at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onomatopoeia
This woman is so unattractive, I wouldn’t fuck her with your dick!
handbridge ALWAYS required guys
@ 52- Agreed. She really is unattractive.
@36 speaking of star trek…which episode do you think she was on?
@52
The proper old English phrase is “I wouldn’t fuck her with a stolen dick and somebody else pushing”
Ok, she got some nice titties, but does she like it in the butt?
@2 & @4 ftw…nice work.
Just by the snippet behind her, I bet you she has better taste in housing then Dimon.
Dude, it’s so dark in here I can’t find my way out!
No problem; help me find my car keys and we can drive out!
She is the CEO of Quality Resources which she received in her divorce settlement many years ago (not recently like the original article states). The telemarketing firm her ex had was raided by the feds and shut down and she came pretty close to the same fate (do a little internet searching on her and the company & you will find all kinds of, not to flattering info on her. Unfortunately, they’re business practices are not what I would consider very ethical and the employees are treated very poorly. For example she will be laying off approx 75 people at the end of the month, just to replace them with individuals that will work for less. So while she is spending 500k trying to find someone who likes her up north, b/c everyone down here knows of and about her. Her employees are getting the shaft.
@56 she has nice ASS… i would like to TIT FUCK her ASS
This lady is a scumbag she steals from old lady’s social security checks for the most part, and she also treats her poorly paid employees like shit and rumor around the water cooler is that her Tampa telemarketing company “quality resources” is going bankrupt and shes selling her house in Dunedin fl which is apparently not going so well do to some structural problems.
at the end of the day this woman is nothing more than white trash with money she fancy s herself a celebrity when compared to many other millionaires shes a nothing but she lives in a false reality were shes a somebody shes nothing and in her heart she knows this, she surrounds herself with people who kiss her ass but here i am rambling on ill just leave your with this….karmas a bitch
This lady is a scumbag she steals from old lady’s social security checks for the most part, and she also treats her poorly paid employees like shit and rumor around the water cooler is that her Tampa telemarketing company “quality resources” is going bankrupt and shes selling her house in Dunedin fl which is apparently not going so well do to some structural problems.
at the end of the day this woman is nothing more than white trash with money she fancy s herself a celebrity when compared to many other millionaires shes a nothing but she lives in a false reality were shes a somebody shes nothing and in her heart she knows this, she surrounds herself with people who kiss her ass but here i am rambling on ill just leave your with this….karmas a bitch
This lady is a scumbag she steals from old lady’s social security checks for the most part, and she also treats her poorly paid employees like shit and rumor around the water cooler is that her Tampa telemarketing company “quality resources” is going bankrupt and shes selling her house in Dunedin fl which is apparently not going so well do to some structural problems.
at the end of the day this woman is nothing more than white trash with money she fancy s herself a celebrity when compared to many other millionaires shes a nothing but she lives in a false reality were shes a somebody shes nothing and in her heart she knows this, she surrounds herself with people who kiss her ass but here i am rambling on ill just leave your with this….karmas a bitch
This lady is a scumbag she steals from old lady’s social security checks for the most part, and she also treats her poorly paid employees like shit and rumor around the water cooler is that her Tampa telemarketing company “quality resources” is going bankrupt and shes selling her house in Dunedin fl which is apparently not going so well do to some structural problems.
at the end of the day this woman is nothing more than white trash with money she fancy s herself a celebrity when compared to many other millionaires shes a nothing but she lives in a false reality were shes a somebody shes nothing and in her heart she knows this, she surrounds herself with people who kiss her ass but here i am rambling on ill just leave your with this….karmas a bitch
YVQLSE Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article post.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.