• 13 Jul 2010 at 12:47 PM

Looking For That Extra Edge?

By

Are you old as fuck? I mean, for Wall Street, what with all the whippsnappers running wild, not for, like, the earth? Might we suggest an age-old technique for getting that spring back in your step that apparently fell out of fashion almost 100 years ago but is surely set to make a comeback, probably with even better results due to advances in medicine and technology?

Grafting ape testicles onto old men was the rage in 1920. Some 300 patients of the Russian doctor Serge Voronoff underwent this costly surgery, looking for “rejuvenation.”

Ape Testicles, Red Wine Aid Geezers in Quest for Eternal Life [Bloomberg]

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Comments (16)

  1. 1
    Posted by sladd | July 13, 2010 at 12:50 PM

    I better switch back to red wine…..

  2. 2
    Posted by Anonymous | July 13, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    I have been doing this for years, except not with ape testicles.

    Bawney

  3. 3
    Posted by CoveredLong | July 13, 2010 at 1:00 PM

    The book’s written by a Weiner…huh huh heh huh huhh.

    -Butthead

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | July 13, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    Author Jonathan Weiner. “Long for This World:”

    hmmm is there another motive here?

  5. 5
    Posted by WTF? | July 13, 2010 at 1:13 PM

    This sort of thing happens all the time at PJ Asset Mgmt – it’s really not that big a deal.

  6. 6
    Posted by Lordofthefuld | July 13, 2010 at 1:16 PM

    If by ape you mean by gorilla and by gorilla you mean Fuld they sign me the fuck up

  7. 7
    Posted by CMBS 4-Life | July 13, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    i have old man balls and I’m only 26

  8. 8
    Posted by Anonymous | July 13, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    Is it, like, a swap? Ape gets mine, I get his? Do I have to look at him while we’re in the surgery room? How old is the ape? Is he in good shape? What kind of life has he lived? It’s not that Grape f*cker is it? ‘Cause I can’t have purple balls. That just wouldn’t sit.

  9. 9
    Posted by EvilBuzzard | July 13, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    It could be the new, healthy breakfast cereal – Ape Nuts

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | July 13, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    I’m so sorry, I fuckin’ hate this job. I don’t want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It’s not cause you’re not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in cause you’re old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.

  11. 11
    Posted by anon | July 13, 2010 at 3:05 PM

    For those interested in testicular implants, you know who you are, a fascinating history of the procedure and people involved is here:
    http://www.amazon.com/Charlatan-Americas-Dangerous-Huckster-Flimflam/dp/0307339882

  12. 12
    Posted by Anonymous | July 13, 2010 at 4:04 PM

    someone should’ve told ol’ georgie s.

  13. 13
    Posted by K. Kong | July 13, 2010 at 6:05 PM

    I had it done a few years ago. Other than an unexplained craving for bananas, I don’t see a difference.

  14. 14
    Posted by smitten | July 14, 2010 at 1:15 AM

    yeah, but where u gonna graft them? On top of our own balls? Might become uncomfortable to run…

    Graft them under your chin… http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/3669/ballsonchin.jpg

  15. 15
    Posted by anon | July 14, 2010 at 1:16 AM

    @14, look contemplative and scratch your balls at the same time.

  16. 16
    Posted by anon | July 14, 2010 at 1:16 AM

    @14, look contemplative and scratch your ballsac at the same time.

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