Archive for July 2010

His time here is almost over but before he takes off for a little maxing and relaxing, the Compensation Cop is apparently thinking about having some fun with bonuses that were paid out that for “the bailout year of 2008″ by all banks that took TARP funds and not just the ones who’ve yet to pay back the blood money. So not just fuck-ups like Citi and Bank of America but also institutions such as, to name a few, JPMorgan, Morgan Stanley and, gird your loins, Goldman Sachs. Feinberg has just finished a “look back” at the cheddar paid out by those institutions and according to Charlie Gasparino, “does not like what he saw.”

Sources say that Feinberg, in concluding his study, and one person with knowledge of Feinberg’s thinking says he is “leaning” toward forcing at least some of the big banks that he reviewed to give back bonus money.

Continue reading »

Well, this is a set-back. Anna Chapman, the only Russian spy anyone cares about, has had her British citizenship revoked, and the U.K.’s Home Secretary apparently has plans to “exclude” her from the region entirely, as it would be “conducive to the public good.” Continue reading »

  • 13 Jul 2010 at 1:13 PM

Ken Griffin’s Hero Dies

Talking about KG’s grandmother, obviously, and not you know who. Apparently Genevieve Huebsch Gratz, who died last week at the age of 98, was a “fount of unsolicited advice” and taught Kenny-boy everything he knows. Continue reading »

Are you looking for a relationship and/or tension release? Do you for some reason have it as a pre-requisite that the person with whom you want to mate/date know what you’re talking about when you drop terms like “puts,” “calls” and “spreads”? Do you not have the time to get out there and find that special someone and want to take a chance on a ex-UBS’er lining up your tail? Today’s your lucky day! Renee Schrader, a former marketing manager for the Swiss bank has launched a “dating” site tailor made to your needs. Continue reading »

  • 13 Jul 2010 at 9:30 AM

Opening Bell: 07.13.10

Finance Bill Close To Passage In Senate (WSJ)
Sens. Scott Brown of Massachusetts and Olympia Snowe of Maine both said they would vote for the measure when Democrats bring it to a vote, which could happen as soon as this week. Democrats and administration officials believe this gives them the necessary backing to overcome a potential filibuster after weeks of uncertainty and unexpected pitfalls.

Paulson Likes What He Sees In Overhaul (NYT)
“We would have loved to have something like this for Lehman Brothers. There’s no doubt about it,” Mr. Paulson declared about midway into our conversation. He was referring to a provision of the bill known as resolution authority, which would enable the government to unwind a failing investment bank or insurance company in an orderly way without forcing it into bankruptcy, thus avoiding the unintended consequences that a bankruptcy might create.

Bankers – More Unpopular Than Benefit Fraudsters Or Bogus Asylum Seekers (HITC)
‘Sure, we all know that things have to change and that firms have to align bonus payments with long-term performance’, one banker told Here Is The City, ‘But let’s not hear all this nonsense about regaining the public’s trust; we never had the public’s trust in the first place, and thanks to the political rhetoric of the last 2 years, we’ll never be loved. And, let’s face it, given the choice, most of us would rather be hated and bonused up, than hated and poorly paid’.

Abu Dhabi May Make BP Investment, Crown Prince Says (Bloomberg)
“We are still thinking about it,” Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan said in an interview in Abu Dhabi today, when asked about potentially buying a stake in the London-based oil producer.

Moody’s Cuts Portugal’s Credit Rating (NYT)
Moody’s said it was cutting Portugal’s sovereign bond ratings to A1 — still investment grade — from Aa2. It noted that the national debt had risen sharply relative to gross domestic product as a result of spending on economic stimulus measures, and it warned that weak growth would weigh on government finances for two or three more years.

HSBC’s Green Says More Shocks Possible (WSJ)
Speaking at the British Bankers’ Association’s annual international banking conference, Mr. Green said he welcomes much of the effort by governments and regulators to improve financial system oversight—including the U.K.’s plan to create a new financial policy committee to try to guard against booms and busts in the economy—but that there’s also a risk that the new order for global supervision could lead to “rigidity, bureaucracy and complexity.” “We are three years in from a crisis that is far from over. We are not out of the woods yet and may see some shocks from countries” that are facing big amounts of debt, Mr. Green said.

George Steinbrenner Has Died From Heart Attack (USA Today)
George Steinbrenner died at about 6:30 a.m. ET today after suffering a heart attack last night. Continue reading »

  • 12 Jul 2010 at 6:15 PM

Write-Offs: 07.12.10

$$$ Hunting for London’s Best, Weirdest Martinis [Bloomberg]

$$$ Mr. Smith, who charges a retainer of $25,000 to $200,000 for clients who are professional athletes, said it’s not unusual for him to get calls from athletes at midnight, often about basic financial concepts: taxes, car leases, even questions about child support payments.

“It’s constant re-educating,” Mr. Smith said. “I have to re-educate them multiple times on the same issue. It just takes a lot more time.” [Investment News]

$$$ Rich are Defaulting on Loans at Higher Rate? Not So Fast… [CNBC] Continue reading »

You want it, Albany? You know what you have to do. Otherwise Long Island gets its first tobacco farm. Continue reading »

As previously stated there are a couple of reality TV shows I’m not proud to say I watch but not embarrassed to say I watch either. They include Real Housewives of NJ/NYC, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and Made. The Millionaire Matchmaker is one I don’t even watch in secret, as the host speaks in a pitch only dogs can hear, there are too many “rules” and the majority of the participants (male and female) are generally freak-shows (and not the good kind). However: the show, normally based in LA, is doing a New York edition, with an open call for dudes on Thursday, and as they most presumably looking for a Wall Street type, I could make an exception should one of you get cast! Don’t say no, just say maybe and if you have reservations about appearing on TV, consider convincing your favorite colleague to do it– it’ll be like Fashion Meets Finance, only SO MUCH WORSE/BETTER. Continue reading »

  • 12 Jul 2010 at 4:00 PM

Bonus Watch ’10: Citi

One junior rainmaker anticipating good things to come? Continue reading »

Listen, guy, I will blow your fucking brains/hair out.

Here’s a little hope for anyone needing it on a particularly slow Monday while you possibly fantasize about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell: you could be a family abandoning, child-support dodging, drug-dealing resident of an insane asylum named Joe Meyers who spends his days asking his roommate, “WHO YOU CALLIN’ PSYCHO?” and/or unappreciated cog in the wheel and one day get the people of New York to think you’re a Prince/CEO of an unnamed bank. How? I’m glad you asked. It’s all about acting as-if. Prince Josef ne Joe, whose run ended earlier this summer when the FBI arrested him and threw him in a Michigan jail cell, went about it like this:

* Clothes: “He would walk around SoHo in banker-style suits. It was always very preppy with expensive, intellectual-looking spectacles,” said a source close to the family. “He dressed up all of the time, even the hottest days. His shirts were all very special. Everything he had was custom-made,” said David Sun, who owns Soho Dry Cleaning, where the family took their washing.

* Attitude: Claimed to own a bank and “once boasted that losing $100,000 a day meant nothing to him,” like a pro would. Continue reading »

Money talks, bull shit walks.

Running Citi for the last two and half years has been, let’s just call it, something of a thankless job for Vikram Pandit. He’s been cut down by fellow CEO’s, on several occasions one analyst in particular has left him bound and gagged on the floor of his office, and the board shit all over his horticulture ideas. Plus, there’s been the matter of the US government coming in and thinking it’s running the place. All in all, Uncle V’s tenure has been no picnic, especially considering the fact that 1) this was not the gig he signed up for (that one being $1 billion to sit around and tell Zoe Cruz jokes) and 2) no one’s even thought to maybe pat him on the back for the place not going out of business, which it almost shockingly did not. So it was nice to see Euromoney name him Banker of The Year, an award they bestowed upon him for doing “a pretty good job” with Citi. You know what would’ve been even nicer? Continue reading »