Archive for July 2010

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 7:53 PM

Write-Offs: 07.06.10

By Bess Levin

$$$ Man jailed for Soho ‘lolly stick’ row stabbings [BBC]

$$$ Supreme Judicial Court Rules Against Phil “What’s The Big Deal? It’s Not Like We’re Planning A Kidnapping” Goldstein (a not oft-mentioned DealBreaker favorite, who deserves a monument erected in New Jersey, taller than the Goldman Sachs tower in Jersey City, of him holding a copy of the Bill of Rights in one hand and bill galvin’s testicles in the other). [FINalternatives]

$$$ Lloyd Blankfein doesn’t want another stinking wine bar on the UWS. [DNAI]

$$$ New Funds Bounce Back [AR]

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 7:01 PM

Bob Moffat Will Drown The Next Person Who Tries To Suggest His Relationship With Danielle Chiesi Was Just About Sex

By Bess Levin

SO. MUCH. CLARITY.

Drown them in his tears, that is. (For those of you keeping up at home the answer is yes, this is the second time on record the former IBM exec has cried in public re: Chiesi, the fishnet-wearing analyst he traded all kinds of tips with if you’re picking up what I’m throwing down and I think you are.)

In an interview with Fortune, Moffat came across as emotional, repentant, and chastened. He wept describing the embarrassment he’d brought upon IBM, his colleagues, and family. While he showed little self-pity, he rebuffed the notion that he hadn’t paid a price for his crimes, noting that by leaving IBM he was giving up an estimated $65 million in lost stock options and pension that he would have collected when he retired at 60. “The biggest thing I’ve lost,” he said, “is my reputation.” Moffat was not allowed by his lawyer to discuss his case or his relationship with Chiesi, but when told that Fortune intended to write about the affair, he said this: “Everyone wants to make this about sex. Danielle had an extensive network of business people. And she added clarity about what was going on in the business world…I know in my heart what this relationship was about: clarity in the business environment.”

Oh, god, and there’s also this: Continue reading »

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 5:06 PM

Where Were You On This One, Lucky Brass Balls?!

By Bess Levin

“The hedge fund run by David Tepper, the best-paid fund manager in the hedging business last year, has agreed to pay more than $1.3 million in penalties stemming from stock trades that regulators said “willfully violated” federal rules.” [Crain's]

Related: David Tepper’s Lucky Brass Balls

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 3:15 PM

Layoffs Watch ’10: Schonfeld Securities

By Bess Levin

Fifty traders were fired before the long weekend because despite (allegedly) “always caring more than you could imagine for your careers, happiness, well being and future…the career of trading is not a good option for lesser skilled traders going forward.”

Schonfeld Dismisses 50 Traders, Cites Rise of Electronic Trades [BW]
Schonfeld Letter [Andrew Coffey]

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 3:05 PM

Are Strippers Finally Getting The Thanks They Deserve?

By Bess Levin

Time was, if you were an exotic dancer, your customers probably wouldn’t have thanked you for that lap dance you so deftly performed. Ingrates, the lot of them, but what could you do? But now? That things aren’t so happy snappy? Strippers are finally getting appreciated for the hard work they do, at least according to one gal named “Bubbles.” Continue reading »

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 1:35 PM

Wall Street Would Like To Know Where Kirsten Gillibrand, Et Al, Gets Off

By Bess Levin

She’s gonna put some seriously importante dudes’ b’s in a vice and then just, you know, trah la la, act like nothing happened and expect the checks to keep coming? Girlfriend should consider thinking again!

“I think at least in the short term there is going to be a great deal of frustration with people who were beating the hell out of us — then turning around and asking for money,” said a senior executive of a Wall Street bank. One member coming in for special criticism: Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), viewed as largely unwilling to publicly defend her home state’s top industry but who continues to make fundraising requests, according to Wall Street insiders. “Sometimes their chutzpah just has no bounds,” an executive said, referring to Gillibrand, who is on the ballot this fall. “People like her who didn’t stand up for us at all during the debate are certainly going to feel some pushback.” [Politico via Daily Intel]

In fact! We’ve obtained exclusive behind the scenes footage of exactly what sort of “pushback” the Senator from New York is in for and let me just say, it looks terrifying. Continue reading »

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 1:15 PM

Alleged Ponzi Schemer Guy De Chimay Responds To Hideous Allegations

By Bess Levin

A couple weeks back Guy de Chimay, the hedge fund manager who appeared on the first season of Wall Street Warriors telling the world “Wall Street takes the brightest people and smashes them into the pavement on a regular basis” and “Wall Street guys have really made the Hamptons what it is,” was accused of using clients’ funds to put towards his divorce bill and beach house, by the SEC. At the time, he remained relatively quiet, taking it like a man and choosing not to respond to the noise. But that was before things got ugly. That was before his ties to the Chimay Brewery were called into question. And now, he will not hold his tongue. Continue reading »

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 10:54 AM

Russian Spy Anna Chapman’s Ex-Husband Wants To Tell You About All The Times He And The Old Ball And Chain Did It (And How)

By Bess Levin

To the naked eye, it might seem like we already know so much about Anna Chapman, the only Russian spy arrested last week anyone cares about. Her employment history includes Barclays, Navigator Capital, and NetJets. She is “full of self-control.” She is “extremely professional and resourceful.” “Ambitious.” “Forward-thinking.” She may have made a mark out of Dr. Doom, the Oracle of O and the man, the myth, the legend, the grand high poobah of it all, Cookie Monster himself.

But, of course, there’s one thing we’ve yet to get any intel on, which is, how does this broad fuck? I mean, really. She may have bedded three of Wall Street’s most notorious bachelors and we’ve heard nothing? Nary a peep? It’s not right. Luckily, over the weekend, an ex-husband surfaced, more than willing to offer some color on the matter.

Take it away, Alex Chapman. “Anya was great in bed and she knew exactly what to do. She was awesome. For the first few months we met for sex about five days a week. We loved it.”

Alright, interesting. And then what happened? “She also liked posing for pictures.”

Really, pictures? That sounds like fun. I bet you don’t carry them around in your wallet or anything, though. Continue reading »

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 10:12 AM

Ken Lewis Kind Of Sucks At Nicknaming People

By Bess Levin

Would’ve thought this would be an area he’d excel, but no. This was the best he could come up with. Continue reading »

Opening Bell: 07.06.10

By Dealbreaker

Banks Redefine Jobs Of ‘Prop’ Traders (WSJ)
At Morgan Stanley, one proprietary trader whose desk was shut down after the financial crisis now trades using capital from a trading desk that serves stock-trading clients, said a person familiar with the matter. Another Morgan Stanley proprietary trader who left for Deutsche Bank AG also essentially bets with the German bank’s capital on a trading desk for clients, this person added.

Soccer Stadiums, Filled During World Cup, Need Rugby to Survive (Bloomberg)
Check out the big brain on Citi: “The problem with soccer in South Africa is that it is not a high-paying spectator sport or a high sponsor-attracting sport,” Jean-Francois Mercier, an economist at Citigroup Inc. in Johannesburg, said in an interview. “Rugby is.”

Italy Is The Ticking Time Bomb (CNBC)
Roger Bootle and his team over at Capital Economics are questioning whether the country holds great danger for the euro zone. “Perennially weak growth and a mountain of government debt mean that the Italian public finances are a potential time-bomb waiting to explode,” Bootle wrote in a research note. With much of the focus until now on the likes of Greece, Spain and Portugal, Bootle said Italy could soon be front and center on the sovereign debt story. “We think the size of the Government’s debts will eventually prompt the markets to turn their sights on Italy and a default is a distinct possibility,” he wrote.

Hedge funds think 2010 will be a toughie (Reuters)
Seven out of 10 said they expect a “trying” year as the industry faces regulatory oversight and competition picks up with more funds likely chasing investment dollars, according to a survey by accounting and audit firm Rothstein Kass.

BP approaches funds to fend off takeover bids (Reuters)
BP executives have held talks with a number of sovereign wealth funds (SWFs) including Abu Dhabi, Kuwait, Qatar and Singapore, a source told Reuters under condition of anonymity. “BP is seeking a strategic partner so it doesn’t get taken over by other major oil companies such as Exxon and Total,” the source said. “It’s BP that is approaching the sovereign wealth funds not the other way round. They are the ones in need of a partner.” BP declined to comment on speculation it was planning to issue an equity stake. “We’re always happy to welcome new shareholders or existing shareholders who wish to increase their holdings but there’s no plans to issue new equity to anyone,” a BP spokesman told Reuters.

K1 fund manager kills himself (FT)
Dieter Frerichs, managing director of K1 group funds K1 Global and K1 Invest, shot himself on a Spanish beach on Saturday. He died as local police tried to detain him after a Madrid court ordered his extradition, according to a spokesman for the state prosecutors in the German city of Würzburg. The 72-year old was the fourth suspect in what authorities claim was a ploy to defraud investors led by the self-taught hedge fund manager Helmut Kiener, who has been detained in a Würzburg jail since last October.

With the US trapped in depression, this really is starting to feel like 1932 (Telegraph)
Prettay, prettay, prettay exciting stuff. Continue reading »

  • 02 Jul 2010 at 1:49 PM

Write-Offs: 07.02.10

By Bess Levin

$$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday, have a great weekend, Happy Fourth and if you happen to find yourself setting off illegal fireworks with a hedge fund manager of note, we want to know!

$$$ Crisis Panel Targets Goldman as AIG Skates By [Reuters]

$$$ Krugman or Paulson: Who You Gonna Bet On? [BW]

$$$ EU’s ‘Opposite Twins‘ Clash Over Future [WSJ]

$$$ Don’t forget. [DB] Continue reading »