Archive for July 2010

On the surface, the only thing they have in common is the hair color, the birth in a foreign land, and the first name, Anna. But, you know, anything is possible and should it turn out that this girl is the new AC, you’re gonna want to be up to speed on what she’s all about. Anna Fermanova, 24, was held up by agents at JKF, who took issue with the fact that she was allegedly trying to smuggle a “$7,000 Raptor 4X night-vision weapons sight and two other $4,000 devices” out of the country, which you’re not allowed to do. She’ll be charged with “attempting to export the devices, which are considered US munitions,” and is not only denying the spy label, but claiming to find this whole thing pants-pissingly funny, making her all the more suspect. Read more »

  • 28 Jul 2010 at 3:30 PM

Man Group Departures Not So Unfounded

As we mentioned last week, in the wake of the GLG buy, things are not looking so good inside Man Group. Redemptions are “mounting,” bonus outlook is bad to very bad and employees are making a dash for the exits.  Today Financial News confirms the departures of 8 of the 15 front office employees who’ve taken off. Read more »

Is there nothing this woman can’t do? The answer is no. Whether it’s playing soccer in jewels, teaching a pig how to play the piano, demonstrating “school-girl chic,” keeping a hockey player happy, dressing herself while inebriated, attending galas on crutches, shoe shopping with a broken foot, dancing her ass off, and or producing an “emotionally touching” film, this chick does it all. Next, I say Phil gives her a shot at her own portfolio. Unless of course he’s threatened by her presumably formidable market savvy. [Hamptons]

Remember Paul Greenwood? He didn’t get as much press as some other hedge fund managers running Ponzi schemes, even though he should have, if only for the fact that he spent a good deal of investor money on a 1,348 teddy bears, valued at $3 million in total, showcased in “collector display cabinetry” at the top of a dramatic spiral staircase in his home and kept track of via a spreadsheet that noted specifics like “full-dressed in sailor suit, lavender-tipped mohair coat [and] felt spats. Anyway, he admitted today that he financed this passion via a “sort of” Ponzi scheme. Read more »

Whether or not you wanted to know, the PIMCO founder has chosen to devote the first half (that’s 512 words) of August’s Outlook to the matter. Specifically, the indignity of the automatic flush. In related news, perhaps this would be a good time for PIMCO investors to start considering finding another person to manage their bond investments? Take it away, Bill:

I write this month to condemn the inventor of the electronic “seeing eye” toilet. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking toilets here, doo-doo-stuff, some of which I hopefully won’t step in myself over the next few paragraphs. I know there must be more substantive and less objectionable topics to bring before you, but I have a sense that many of you joint me in spirit if not common experience and so I devote this month’s Outlook to another trivial snippet emphasizing our joint humanity and sense of loss due to the recent disappearance of the hand flusher.

I don’t know where it is located exactly, but there’s an electronic eye in the plumbing of public toilets these days that can sense when you get up and down (or is it down and up) and are finally finished with your “business,” if you get my drift. My doctor says a proctology exam is a necessary evil but cameras in toilets? Never having seen myself from this particular angle, it is particularly embarrassing to turn over the assignment to camera and in effect say, “Snap away– see anything that doesn’t look right?” I figure if there’s an eye in there, then there could also be a little voice that says, “Have a seat,” which of course I do, usually with much haste and a sense that I’d better get on with it before I attract a crowd.

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In announcing that Albany would not go ahead with the proposed plan to tax New York-based hedge fund managers who live out of state, David Paterson probably thought he was taking the wind out of Connecticut Governor Jodi Rell’s sails. Rell had previously invited a group of investing professionals to a “personal dinner” in Darien at which, she wrote breathlessly, they would have “much to discuss.” Well David thought wrong. Despite not really having anything to talk about anymore re: “how much New York sucks” and how “CT will treat you fellas right,” the dinner is reportedly still on and not just that, but Tim Selby, president of the New York Hedge Fund Roundtable has chosen to throw Jodi a bone and RSVP yes. “The governor was kind enough to extend the invitation and I think we would be remiss to not meet with her to hear what she has to say.”

  • 28 Jul 2010 at 11:58 AM

Sumner Redstone Tour Of Awesome Continues

Say what you will about Sumner Redstone (that he should be forced into retirement, that his mangled finger will haunt your dreams), but the guy knows how to have a good time. First off, he’s apparently “in the middle of a firestorm for his insistence that MTV create a reality-show about his favorite raunchy, all-girl band, The Electric Barbarellas.” And second, he forced Showtime execs to give a chick he’d met on the LA club scene and “went out with on at least two occasions” any job she wanted, in addition to gifting her with a bunch of Viacom stock.

Showtime executives “at first tried to find something industrious for her to do,” the source said, adding that after a rotation in casting, programming, and other departments within the network, Singh landed in publicity, in part because her best asset is her ability to party.

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Apparently that is wrong in HK, and they should not have done that. What they should have done was either a) take the ferry to Macau, “the Vegas of Asia,” or b) done some horse betting, which is cool with the authorities. Read more »