They look nothing like her from the neck up. As for the rest of her, I think we’re going to need her ex-husband or a doctor to make that call. Continue reading »
Archive for July 2010
Lady Who Rented $250,000/Week Hamptons Home To Land Husband Reports Plan Is Wild Success
By Bess Levin
Yesterday we mentioned newly divorced single mom Cheryl Mercuris, of the Tampa Bay Mercurises, was looking for a new husband. To that end, she’d invested her (own) money (she’s a “direct marketing entrepreneur”) in a $250,000/week rental in Bridgehampton. At the time, any of you scoffed at this flagrant waste of money but Cheryl, a “a self-made millionaire” knew you gotta spend money to make money. And following yesterday’s personal ad in the Post announcing her presence out East, Single and Ready To Mingle reports the plan is paying off in spades. Continue reading »
So, I’m not one to crow about my achievements but today I must make an exception. As you know, it was exactly a week ago that I headed out to Stamford, CT to perform my due diligence on Beamers Cafe ahead of our yet to be scheduled field trip. It was there that my colleagues in the field and I met one of the establishment’s employees, who very graciously gave us the low-down on how business has been faring in these tough times. Though the Cafe continues to be patronized by bank and hedge fund employees and tips have remained stable, she told us, as you might expect, that three years ago business was booming and they were turning people away at the door. So what happened yesterday made me giddy beyond belief. At around 5 I was going about my business, doing whatever it is I do all day when my phone rang. Not recognizing the number, I picked up with caution. The conversation started out like this: Continue reading »
If you haven’t read the document yet (and only one person has so don’t feel bad), have a looksee at the clip above, produced by the White House, which explains the impetus for the bill (“the careless risk-taking by Wall Street had to be stopped”), makes some references to banks playing craps with other people’s money, confidently states with the passing of Dodd-Frank, “you can rest a little easier knowing your home and family will be protected from the irresponsibility of others,” and never once mentions Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Perhaps most genius, however, was having the whole thing narrated by the soothing voice of Kal Penn, though if I had my preference, would rather listen to in this. Continue reading »
So Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein, the former of whom was once one of Obama’s boys, the latter of whom the President just thought was a cute li’l fella especially when his face gets all scrunched up, were very publicly not invited to yesterday’s signing of the financial reform bill. The White House asked every other Wall Street CEO to attend and probably would’ve even let Ken Lewis in if for some reason he’d showed up. And while they’re perhaps hurt, while they definitely got together last night to hold a “fuck that guy” party of two, what Lloyd and Jamie are not going to do is act out and embarrass themselves. You’d like that to happen, I’m sure but somewhere between the 8th and 9th round they decided a couple of things. 1) That waitress was totallyyyy throwing LB the vibes and 2) That living well is the best revenge. Obama’s gonna see them in the press, doing all kinds of awesome shit, doing even better than when they were together and he’s gonna think “Man, I blew it.” (It’ll hurt even worse when he realizes the only person he has to console him are Vikram and the guy who replaced John Mack). First step in Operation You Made The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life Baby? The suggestion of an overseas affair. Continue reading »
As you may have heard, Albany is currently debating whether or not to lay a $50 million tax upon the asses of certain hedge fund managers. Though nothing is set it stone yet, said managers are none too pleased with the proposal and have aired their grievances in public. Sensing friction on the home-front, Connecticut Governor Jodi Rell has jumped all over the situation. Earlier this month she conveyed, in her own words, a “simple yet heartfelt message” (which was “Connecticut welcomes you”) and now she’s hoping to win the boys over with raw meat, having invited Timothy Selby, president of the New York Hedge Fund Roundtable, and all of his friends, to an “intimate” steak dinner. Continue reading »
Paulson Plans New Fund (WSJ)
Paulson & Co., is launching a fund under the European standard for open-ended investment funds, known as UCITS, that will track existing investments, according to one of the people familiar with the matter. Paulson plans to launch the fund, which will be domiciled onshore in Europe, in the coming months, the person familiar said. It is being launched in conjunction with Germany’s Deutsche Bank AG.
Credit Suisse Sees Small Increase In Profit (NYT)
Credit Suisse’s profit rose 1.4 percent to 1.59 billion Swiss francs, or $1.5 billion, in the second quarter, from 1.57 billion francs in the same period last year. But earnings at its investment banking operation dropped 53 percent as unnerved clients cut back on trades.
Blackstone Reports Second Quarter Profit (BW)
$205 mill buys a lotta crabs. Just sayin’.
Bank of Ireland, Allied Irish Said to Pass EU’s Stress Tests (Bloomberg)
Bank of Ireland’s 2.9 billion-euro ($3.7 billion) fundraising last month gave the lender enough capital to meet the threshold set by EU regulators, said the person, who declined to be identified because the talks are private. Allied Irish, the second-biggest lender by market value, passed because regulators included in their calculations the 7.4 billion euros the bank plans to raise by the end of the year, said another person who declined to be identified.
New York City Pensions Consider First Hedge-Fund Investments (Bloomberg)
The three funds, with combined assets of $64.5 billion as of March 31, want advice from firms on formulating strategy, identifying new investments and monitoring portfolios, according to a request for proposals from the comptroller’s office.
Greenwich Pillage (NYP)
In a move that dramatically turns up the heat on Walter Noel, the former socialite and jet-setter, Irving Picard claims Noel and other brass at Madoff feeder fund Fairfield Greenwich “purposefully turned a blind eye” to Madoff’s shenanigans and used ill-gotten gains from the $7 billion in client funds they invested with the fraudster to fuel a lavish lifestyle. Picard says Noel and his main business partner Tucker, a former SEC attorney, each wrongfully earned $114 million in partnership distributions from 2002-08, in addition to salaries and bonuses. Tucker, Picard charges, was “acutely aware of many facts and red flags” but chose instead his “prized racehorses, private jets, and luxurious mansions.” Continue reading »
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