[via BI]
Meanwhile, Erin Burnett catches up on Minesweeper.
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So last week they had 7M AUM, now they have 6.5M AUM. Heading in the right direction I see…
The way the guy answered the questions I thought they brought the AI bot to the interview …
Look alive, Golic.
Lela Star > Starbursts > STAR > Starz > Starbury
and one wonders why they have a hard time raising capital…
he seems genuiuely excited about the opportunity…..I bet hes a closer in investor meetings
Seriously what the fuck?
Something happened between him and Erin last night…
erin burnett used the dependable strategy of “dont look, dont laugh”…..well played erin, well played
Perhaps the caterpillars above his eyes are eating into his brain.
Erin looks like she raged all night. And clearly she isn’t into this gig anymore. BRING IN MANDY
I just wanted to say that I’m a nerd, and I’m here on CNBC to stand up for the rights of other nerds. I mean all our lives we’ve been laughed at and made to feel inferior. And last week, those bastards on Dealbreaker, they trashed our STAR. Why? Cause we’re smart? Cause we look different? Well, we’re not. I’m a nerd, and I’m pretty proud of it. Just join us, no-one’s gonna really be free until nerd persecution ends.
I eat nerds like you for breakfast.
Charles Gasparino; writer, boxer, lover.
STAR…a beep for your thoughts?
When is the STAR v. W.O.P.R Celebrity Global Thermo Nuclear Warefare Deathmatch goin down?
Such a revolutionary idea – wow, computers and stocks – what is next??? Bread and butter, icecream and cone, or the latest and greatest innovation – the sliced bread (I tremble). Erin was correct to visibly ignore him – probably some family member put that guy on the show (maybe Mark’s related to one of those fund guys). CEO guy had the whole world listening to him so he could def give an indication of his returns, which if any good could increase the size of his rather stagnant fund ten fold almost overnight – smells fishy.
Something happened between STAR and Erin last night
You can tell that he is very boring and has no life.
this kid is boring as fuck and has nothing to say.
@17 RIGHT???
My CPU is a neural net processor. A learning computer.
1. Has it seriously taken them 5 years to get to $6.5M in AUM? That was my bonus last year.
2. They really need to hire a hot IR chick. That guy, to quote @19, was boring as f*ck. No wonder $6.5M is all they have.
STAR > CFA > MBA
interesting…with $6 MM in capital and like 4-5 guys working on the fund they must be each pulling in like what $35K? That’s assuming a 1% management fee. No money for losing money right? Unless they are related to Dick Fuld
They should just man up and leverage that using cedar capital X10 and make it into a $60 MM fund. Even then they will have make some serious moves.
But even with all this stupidity and light weight pencil stealing shit, I know some of the amateur VC boys over where I live will probably pump a couple million in this shit amateur blackbox fund.
Underpants gnomes.
@22 wow what the fuck do you do for a living making $6MM bonuses while being able to comment on Dealbreaker boards?
@22 here:
3. How does the guy, and his three friends, make a living? Even if they earned 2 and 20, which they don’t, and returned 10% last year, that would gross $260K. That was my private jet fare last week.
@26 – I’m your boss. Now get back to work you f*cking slacker.
@27 – 260k is a good living for an IT slave
WTF
http://www.rebellionresearch.com/jobs.html
Also, check out the address on their homepage. Definitely some guy’s apartment.
He still sits in a high chair.
can’t talk about returns due to regulations – yup
Is Erin still dating a trader? She snubbed the guy thinking his idea was a threat to her BF’s job.
He should of just jumped on top of the desk and yelled “PIGBOMB!” That would have gotten Erin’s attention.
What are they rebelling against? Making money?
Star,
I’d like to express my grievances, as you’re unable/unwilling to have a polite discussion regarding the tumultuous situation we find ourselves in at this point. It’s been nearly three months (a considerable time, btw), and you’ve yet to commit. You gallivant through the City until, sometimes, 3 or 4 in the morning, only to return to my apartment, make a cocktail, and pass out without plugging yourself in. When you DO plug yourself in, you use the outlet that also services my AC unit. Not only is this harmful to my ConEd bill, but we’ve had to reboot the circuit breaker not once, not twice, but six times since we’ve started dating. Other nights, when you come home, the surface of your mainframe is covered in a sticky substance which, one hopes, is not bodily fluids, but rather Makers Mark. Do you just let these mysterious people you hang out with throw drinks on you?
Frankly, I’m not impressed. You’re selfish. You’re narcissistic. You feel as though you do no wrong, while acting entirely unaware of your surroundings, as well as those of your loved ones (including me, I hope; however at this point, I can only guess).
Also, when we ARE hanging out, we only do what YOU want to do. I’m sick of reading you Popular Mechanics. I’m sick of role-playing as Johnny 5. And what’s worse, when we DO go to a mutual bar, you tend to get abrasive after your third or fourth drink and become quite combative with other gentlemen.
I truly think it would be best for us to part ways. You’re a fun, lively guy but I’m looking for maturity, stability, and possibly someone that wants to start a family. Frankly, you do not possess these characteristics.
It’s been fun, and I wish you the very best in your future endeavors, but its over.
Erin
He’s on tv ostensibly to pitch AI, but really he just wants a hug.
Rebellion Research needs to merge with Bernett Capital in order to survive.
@30
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=350%20East%2054th%20Street%20%231A&gs_upl=93,93,1,0,0,0,&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl
Appears that Erin isnt very amoosed with this ass clown
@29 – take $260k and divide it by four. Not looking so good now, eh? Be sure to subtract the cost of the parental basement lease for STAR’s choice digs.
Also, why is this dude sitting in a chair that makes him appear to be 20 feet tall?
Also also, those late nights of kobold killing have prevented him from shaving for three days.
@39, epic fail. Charleston, WV huh?
@38, what’s a Jeffries analyst? Is it like an anal_yst?
Bess- you’re awesome, keep on. So much better than ATL over here.
If this doesn’t prove that CNBC is an utter waste of time I don’t know what will. There’s more intelligence in a test pattern.
@40/NS – You think it’s because they haven’t brieched their HWM?
@22 = World of Warcraft (aka “WOW”) Champion
WHERE DA’ DOW AT?! STILL BIGGA THAN YA BONUS
-consultant
this guy is a huge sack of shit
@35 – nice
Nothing happened between Erin and Star that is why she was not looking at him, she was upset. Star was playing with a different black box, and she was jealous
Love the whole ‘Gen Y, ivy school practice of ending every sentence as though it’s a question’ thing.
Instills a lot of confidence.
And when HAL takes off with the money how do you find him?
Burnett is just pouting because she knows her inbox is not a national treasure like Bess’s.
Was I the only one watching this thinking this was a Will Forte character?
Was I the only one watching this thinking this was a Will Forte character?
@48
So STAR only goes for black box? Racist, examine your motives, STAR.
@42, perhaps you need to speak with the joke briefer.
@39 the google streetview of the actual apartment is great. Spencer’s mother can be seen outside the apartment, and she has wicked tanlines
who is this joke briefer i keep hearing about and when is he going to show up???
-Z.K.
@4 FTW
- Guy who watches too much smut
holy shit that guy is a boring.
wankers don’t get to sit down. stand and watch us ridicule you and not even pay attention. You go Erin.
Why are you being so mean to me?!
-Spencer
@42, you are most definitely in need of a joke beefer. As far as what a Jeffries analyst is, he is a man whose mental and physical abilities defy explanation and belief. Generally these masters of the milky whey come from elite undergraduate institutions such as Colgate. A Jeffries analyst is able to preform feats of financial derring do that would literally blow your head off if you attempted them. He can corral massive amounts of information and then drive that herd of raw data through an analytical process that produces an extremely rare finished product. Furthermore, A Jeffries analyst won’t merely send out an email or memo containing said product, he will literally jump up and down on your back to make sure you get the message. For instance their a Jeffries Analyst was in fact the first to prognosticate that a certain swiss bank might in fact have a similar skill set to Ashley Dupre (minus the real estate acumen).
A Jeffries analyst is a master of multi tasking and able to work while at the same time enjoying some of the freshest ingredients this side of Manhattan after leaving the office. While his colleagues at lesser firms vacation at 300K condos in Boca Raton a Jeffries Analyst vacations in Mustique with the premier hedge fund managers of the last decade. While some lesser financial professionals might enjoy spending their time skiing in Aspen (and doding trained attack birds sent in response to some misconceptions about ownership of some property there); the Jeffries analyst spends his spare time studying quantum physics and battling advanced artificial intelligence systems in games of thermonuclear war. The Jeffries analyst is like a finely tuned machine that never sleeps, never makes mistakes and never disseminates incomplete marketing materials. The Jeffries analyst does not merely have a vanity plate to reflect his various certifications, he has a Gulfstream 550 tail number proclaiming them. The Jeffries analyst may in fact be the highest form of life known to man (other than paul the octopus, who the Jeffries analyst frequently plays high stakes chess games against).
*All of the above is only true in Soviet Russia.
@62 you forgot “Stay Thirsty My Friends.”
I see a young Cliff in Spencer
Wonder what that dude benches.
STAR – I OWN YOUR ASS. BRING IT ON, SWEETBREADS-FOR-PROCESSOR.
WHAT’S THAT? OH, HI – NOTHING GOING ON HERE PROFESSOR. JUST A LITTLE FRIENDLY COMPUTING.)
@49 I end each sentence though it is a question because I question whether your simple mind can understand me?
These guys are dreamy . . .
The kid had never been on tv before and was extremely nervous…give him a break.
…and his father is legendary hedge fund manager Glen Greenberg of Chieftain Capital making his grandfather Hank Greenberg of the MLB HOF
I know what happened in the Green Room just prior to the interview!
Mark Haynes: Well, I think I can say, barring some unforeseen incident, that you’ll have a very good interview today!
Greenberg: Thank you Mr.Haynes, thank you very much indeed.
MH: See you on the set at 9 o’clock.
G: If you don’t mind, sir. I’ll be here at 8.
MH: Excellent.
*Greenberg leaves the office and goes to the elevator. A women resembling Erin Burnett is waiting for the elevator. Greenberg reaches out and feels her blouse material.*
Erin B: What you’re think you’re doing?
G: Oh, nothing…
EB: Haynes, get out here!
MH: Yes, Ms. Burnett?
EB: Who is this pervert little weasel?
MH: This is Greenberg, he’s our next interview.
EB: If he’s here for that interview, you’re not. Take a pick.
MH to Greenberg: Get out!
MH speaking to EB: I’m terribly sorry Ms. Burnett…
@69 = one of the other nerds that founded rebellion research
Now that STAR is fully operational, and with only 1 investor to worry about, the nerd kids are able to work day jobs to make rent. Its not a terrible crazy plan afterall.
This kids dad is Glenn Greenberg, formerly of Chieftain. His step mom is former fox bness anchor…maybe he knows about some kind of secret female business anchor lesbianism networking group and is extorting them to back his “fund”.
–Guy who studies secret societies.
@74 – From your mouth to God’s ears . . .
well at least he shaved for the interview
@54 not meant to be racist
48
@77/48 – new here, eh?
is erin lezzy?
@78
Sure looks like it, eh?
@30 http://www.corcoran.com/property/listing.aspx?ListingID=1060536&Region=NYC
@62 – thank you. That was well done! I keep trying to find the time to do a DB Board Meeting Transcript along the same lines, but I can’t seem to pull it together.
bess, you totally stole my comment off of wsj w/ no credit. like wtf
Erin thought: “Geez,this guy looks like one of my stalkers. I bet he is one of my obssessed viewers who turn the volume to mute and only god knows what they are doing”!
Give Erin a break, everyone knows chics don’t get math.
@52/53 You are right, he’s like the McGruber of high-latency, low-frequency trading.
A day after…..
@ 8 …..Erin’t looks great today and in good mood! Everything’s forgiven.The night was great – not what you are thinking, just a long 8 hours of uninterrupted (goodnight) sleep.
I’m interested in how much brogramming goes into their brobot.
it’s amazing that the dude’s company has $6.5mil AUM and is on CNBC… what standards?
8-year olds, dude.
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