August 2010

  • News

    Write-Offs: 08.31.10

    $$$ Goldman swims downstream for PetroAlgae IPO [Reuters] $$$ Wall Street Insiders Want Out [CBNC] $$$ “The exercise series, open to the public, begins with Wall Street Ball Street on Oct. 21. From 2 p.m. to 6 p.m., participants will be a schooled in the art of squash, which, “Wall Street” aficionados will recall, was […]

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 5:30 PM
  • News

    Wall Street Males Apparently Sneakier About Sexism These Days

    Many women report that sexism is still rife on Wall Street, albeit less overt. Sexual discrimination charges by women at finance companies dropped 28% from 2000 to 2009, according to data from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. But the number of charges per woman in the industry climbed during the recession in 2008 and 2009. […]

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 5:21 PM
  • Communiqués, News

    Housekeeping: Joe Kernen Is On Vacation And Someone Needs To Brush Up On His/Her KingPin Quotes

    From time to time, as it’s right next to the box I need to click to open a new post, I like to check out what terms non-regular readers have searched to end up on this here site. Ping Jiang is a frequent one, as is a rotating cast of CNBC anchorettes, in addition to […]

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 4:20 PM
  • News

    JPMorgan Closing Prop Desks

    Bloomberg reports the firm “told traders who bet on commodities for the firm’s account that their unit will be closed as the company begins to shut down all its proprietary trading” and will “eventually end all proprietary trading to comply with new curbs on investment banks.” In July JPM axed about 40 prop traders and […]

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 3:43 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch: Cornell Endowment Chiefs

    Nice work if you can get it.

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 3:01 PM
  • News

    Paul Krugman: Dan Loeb & Co Are Mad At Obama Because They’re A Bunch Of Petty Little Rich Boys

    Last Friday, Third Point founder Dan Loeb released his latest quarterly letter, in which the Third Point founder redirects the feelings he once had for Ken Griffin on the current administration. Paul Krugman read it and he’s pretty sure he knows why Loeb and, for that matter, all the other financial services employees who donated […]

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 1:45 PM
  • News

    New Trend On Wall Street Involves Chopping Wood, Hypothermia, If You’ve Got The Balls

    Are you sick of the relentless pussification of Wall Street? Does it just burn you up inside that the majority of your co-workers consider eating 8 items from the vending machine over the course of 12 hours a challenge, which most of them would fail miserably and not be put in a burlap sack and […]

    / Aug 31, 2010 at 9:20 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 08.30.10

    $$$ Short-Sellers Take Long Vacation [WSJ] $$$ Citigroup Will Meet With Mayo After Analyst Complains in Report [Bloomberg] $$$ 12 Unconventional Ways To Save The Economy [NYO] $$$ Tiger In The City [NYP]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 7:03 PM
  • News

    Get Paid To Shoot Someone From UBS

    Looking for a new gig (or a gig period)? Disheartened by the dearth of openings in the industry at the moment? Itching for the chance to get all up in UBS’s face? If you’re under 37, in “prime physical condition” and can shoot a gun, the IRS wants you for its Criminal Investigation Divsion, which […]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 5:41 PM
  • MBAs, News

    Have Women Pay To Worship Your Harvard Business School-Educated Ass

    Are you looking for “love”? Did you attend HBS? Did you do so with the idea in mind that once you graduated, women would be so infatuated with the notion that your cock once took leadership and organizational behavior that you’d be beating them off with a stick? Have things not exactly panned out that […]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 4:20 PM
  • News

    Going Through Lehman’s Books Was Like Playing Elaborate Game Of MadLibs, Said Barclays Exec

    Barclays Plc had no idea how big Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.’s futures-and-options trading business was when it considered taking over the defunct bank’s derivatives trades at exchanges in 2008, a Barclays executive said. “Lehman’s books were in such a mess that I don’t think they knew where they were,” Elizabeth James, a director of Barclays’s […]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 4:10 PM
  • News

    Mike Mayo: Citi Not To Be Trusted

    As mentioned last week, analyst Mike Mayo has been going around telling clients and whoever else will listen that the bank is inflating its profits and needs to a write down $50 billion of deferred-tax assets. For the offense, Citi has, according to Charlie Gasparino, frozen Mayo out. No one-on-ones in Pandit’s office, no phone […]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 2:34 PM
  • News

    Challenge Extended

    “Just putting it out there: another one of Stamford’s gifts to the world is Jimmy’s aka The Seaside Tavern. Jimmy’s has introduced Seaside’s challenge – 25 sliders, pitcher of beer, and fries. Some guy tried it the other night and only got through 18 (pics enclosed). I’m thinking there should be an RBS & UBS […]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 12:30 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’10: Credit Suisse

    The good: bonus time come early! The not as good: no touching.

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 08.30.10

    Banks Need New Capital on Housing Dip, Whitney Says (Bloomberg) Banks aren’t prepared for a “double-dip” in housing, which “it looks like we are having,” Whitney said Bloomberg Radio’s The Hays Advantage. “They need higher capital,” said Whitney. Whitney said the economy is reacting from “chronic structural problems” including high unemployment that are unlikely to […]

    / Aug 30, 2010 at 9:45 AM
  • Communiqués, News

    Dan Loeb Breaks Out The American History Text Books For Q2 Letter

    First, the numbers. Now: the real talk. Spoiler alert: Professor Loeb is not happy with a certain someone in Washington, who is about to experience what it feels like to be Ken Griffin.

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 5:30 PM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 08.27.10

    $$$ Blackstone Returns Fees in First Clawback Triggered at Firm [Blackstone] $$$ Coco’s Drop Pressures A Big Wager [WSJ] $$$ Thailand’s Vagina Tree Correctly Predicts Lottery Numbers [Nerve]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 5:00 PM
  • News

    At Long Last, An Answer To Whether Or Not Goldman Guys Wax Their Chest Hair

    Typically on Wall Street, the issue of how men deal with their chest hair is an institutionalized thing unique to each firm. As SAC, they keep it real. Wild. Thick. Manly. None of this removal crap unless you’re on the pre-op list. At Citi, everyone is required to shave a giant V into their tuft. […]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 2:06 PM
  • News

    Study Shows Purveyors Of Lap Dances To Be Shrewd Businesswomen

    “The first academic research project into lap dancing has found that, rather than being uneducated young women who have been coerced into the industry, one in four dancers has a degree and has been attracted by the money…. The researchers found no evidence of trafficking in the industry, and concluded that career and economic choices […]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 1:47 PM
  • News

    Casting Too Big To Fail

    As previously mentioned, HBO has purchased the rights to Andrew Ross Sorkin’s Too Big To Fail. Shooting starts this fall and the role of Hank Paulson has just gone to William Hurt. John Mack has graciously stated that the role of the Morgan Stanley CEO should go to Bobby DeNiro and for his buddy Blankfein? […]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 12:15 PM
  • News

    Dick Bové: FYI, Citi Is Not “Cooking The Books”

    Lest there be any confusion about what they do over there all day.

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 12:00 PM
  • News

    Steve Cohen Talks GOP Strategizing Over Chips ‘N Dip

    This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. The Big Guy is running for office. No, just fucking with you (for now…). The SAC Capital founder just had some buddies over the other nights- among them, Caxton Associates’ Bruce Kovner, Elliot’s Paul Singer, Daniel Senor of Rosemont Capital and “various GOP operatives”- to discuss “how […]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 11:20 AM
  • News

    Bernanke: “We have come a long way, but there is still some way to travel.”

    Things look, you know bad, but really, nothing is fucked.

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 10:25 AM
  • News

    Russian Spy Anna Chapman, Her Ass, In Trouble Again

    Her LinkedIn profile claims the former Barclays employee-cum-Russian Spyshe’s “full of self-control” but that doesn’t exactly seem to be the case. Everyone’s favorite Ruskie (whose fan base includes Dr. Doom, the Oracle of O and the man, the myth, the legend, the grand high poobah of it all, Cookie Monster himself) has been sued by […]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 10:05 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 08.27.10

    SEC Vows More Action Against Wall Street on Crisis (FT) US regulators told the Financial Times the SEC’s contentious civil fraud case against the Goldman Sachs over the sale of mortgage-backed securities was an example of the type of high-profile action its revamped enforcement division was working on. “Deterrence works in the white-collar world. Financial […]

    / Aug 27, 2010 at 9:15 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 08.26.10

    $$$ Happy news: “the recent plunge in national home sales hasn’t deflated prices for trophy properties in Long Island’s beach playground to the rich.” [WSJ] $$$ “UBS can close the chapter on the suspected tax evaders now,” said Franco Taisch, a professor of business law at the University of Lucerne. “The bank has overcome that […]

    / Aug 26, 2010 at 7:15 PM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment

    [via]

    / Aug 26, 2010 at 6:30 PM

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