There's something I've been meaning to tell you.
August 10, 2010, is the day that will go down in history as the one in which fed up employees left their jobs in style. Yesterday afternoon, Steven Slater, the greatest flight attendant of all time did it via obscenities-laced tirade/inflatable slide and just a few hours prior to that, Assistant Jenny was putting her own spin on things.
Jenny was an admin at a brokerage firm. She toiled away for an unknown period of time, despite the fact that her boss, Spencer, was a real asshole, because her dream was to one day become a broker herself. Then she heard Spencer referring to her as a “HOPA,” which she determined stood for “Hot Piece Of Ass,” and decided she’d had it. She was going to quit. But rather than turn in some sterile resignation letter like everyone does, she decided to get creative and via a series of white board messages, informed Spence and the rest of the firm she was leaving and also that the big guy may have an untreated case of Halitosis. Jenny doesn’t have a new gig lined up yet but surely anyone looking to fill a slot and searching for a candidate with a little thing called panache should get in touch.
As for the rest of you! I’m not going tell you to quit your job but if you’ve been thinking about it for a while anyway, consider doing it this week and strongly consider taking a page from Steve and/or Jenny’s playabooks. If you’d like to make an exit that incorporates elements from both, pick and choose from the following:
- Curse out the object of your rage
- Use a PA system
- Use a whiteboard
- Include embarrassing details about person who pushed you to the edge
- Steal some beers or other alcoholic beverages as you leave
- Exit building in unorthodox fashion
- Be “engaging in sexual intercourse” when people come to check on you to make sure you’re okay and/or arrest you
I looked at the picture fast, and thought it was of Bess.
Bess can you do a version of this, but with a smackdown of a commenter or something?
/Bored at work on a Tuesday
Unintended consequence of healthcare reform?
Yes, lights on.
Such a boring use of of whiteboard markers. Stupid girl.
-PJ
@3 – lights AND glasses on; would love to throw my rope onto those lenses…..BAAAAAAADA BING!!
As luck would have it, I’ve been thinking about switching to seekingalpha.
PEACE OUT LOSERS! NAILIN PALIN IN 2012!
/out
@6 seeking alpha? how embarrassing for you. (also, no one gives a shit.)
@1 great idea (and the chick does look like BL)
@6 good riddance you fu–ing dickwad. Have fun reading about Cramer and bucket shops.
In Soviet Russia, everyone has halitosis.
Fully agree with the tag. She can certainly get it! Call me Jenny
Sincerely yours,
- AF
@4 If onry she were a man. I might have a HF job for her.
-PJ
I think her and Slater should open a consultancy specializing in high level departures from top firms. A letter of resignation to the board is just so piper jaffrayish.
Has there ever been a Spencer who wasn’t an asshole?
i would bang her six ways to Sunday…
~Guy who likes to use out-dated cliches on message boards
Marry me.
-Keith Moss
Lights on, glasses on, socks on…..mmmmmmmmm….
Say, this would all be understandable if Spencer was on Dealbreaker for 17.5 hrs. But what the hell is Farmville?
“anyone looking to fill an a slot”
???
I tried to use a whiteboard at Ping Capital but couldn’t find any markers.
John Stuart Mill is not impressed.
Blant misuse of whiteboard markers like this is completely unacceptable around here.
-PJ
HOPA = Hot of Piece Ass?
-Guy confused by Spencer’s acronym
@20 Nicely done.
What would Kenny Powers do in this situation?
That’s nothing. I was caught banging a softporn actress in the executive boardroom. To save everyone a little embarrassment, HR agreed to sugarcoat the details, and I copped to a little expense-account padding. Took my $40 mil in cash severance and stock options on the way out the door.
– Mark H.
I just wanna bust a nut on her Tina Fey glasses, then cry.
–Guy who busts a nut on things then follows up with inconsolable weeping
Like the fist of an angry god!
She’s ugly, that’s why she’s treated like shit.
Here’s a clue, honey- If you aren’t pretty, learn to suck cock very well. It’s the only shot a broad has at getting anywhere.
Unless she’s really smart and capable……. HAHAHAHAHHAAH
@29 Hey, Spencer.
I wish I had the opportunity to actually quit a job on my own sometime.
-Kow-Bell
spencer = spencer greenberg of rebellion capital. he’s always making me access scottrade :(
-star
Does she have “Chai” tattoed in Hebrew on her wrist?
-guy who pays attention to the wrong details, like the antique film projector on her bookshelf.
Lights on, glasses on, socks on, antique film projector on her bookshelf on and I want the people to watch what is going to be consecrated here. And I will bring my son down here, and he will watch.
Hardwood floor or shag carpeting? Or Bess’s fave, hallway runner?
I took a dump on Jeff Zucker’s desk before goin’ to Fox. Where’s my fuckin’ kudos?
-CG
@35 Vajazzled
I bet she gives great helmet.
1. This girl has a bright future in The Pron. I’m thinking specializing in golden showers and/or DVDA
2. who the f*ck has the Encyclopedia Britannica in their office?
@39 – Zach Kouwe had the Encyclopedia Britannica in his office. Used it all the time.
The correct use of apostrohpes has been hell on her as well.
- not an English major, but someone who knows how to use apostrohpe’s
@39/Anal – That apartment does look rather suspiciously like a cheap porno set from Bang Bros or something.
I like the flames.
Dennis Kneale
@29 The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the fuck that means, are ugly chicks. And this is because they have to make up for how fucking unnattractive they are.
I bet she would really appreciate my anal bead tail.
/Guy who has made it.
Jenny = next employee at Lido Cabaret
@44 – Well put, McDermott.
She doesn’t deserve a job. HOPA is not even an acronym for Hot Piece of Ass. HPOA vs. HOPA what the f***? From the photo, she looks half-asian/japanese, hence hopa would be appropriate.
Unless, of course, this is another one of Bess’ typos.
-MANAGING! Director
I found her number! 867-5309
FUCKING! Idiot @47– Read the whiteboard. She wrote “HOPA”.
@48 Thanks. Thanks a lot asshole. There goes TWO FUCKING DAYS down the drain with that shit in my head. Off to get a carnivorous ear wig.
@48/naked: FTW
@44/46: I hope your wit is very dry otherwise you are a tool. Meet me @ 113 Macdougal at St at 8pm so I can decide. I’ll be the smart, funny chick with the awesome personality but you’ll probably notice my banging body first.
@29 you sound like a mental patient. well done.
also, click through the story. the chick is actually rather hot.
i haven’t seen an encyclopedia in years. must be her parents house.
When she changed in the white tank top…I lost all concentration on closing my AUS/USD short spread. FUCK!!!!!
@47 Epic, Epic fail. How the f*ck do you get “half-asian/Japanese” from those pics?
@51
I’ll be there around 8, how should I let you know its me?
Also: lights on, and I mean floodlights, million+ candle power
Work is blocking all the links can someone give me a clue as to what goes down in them?
@51 I’ll menacingly point a nailgun at your head so you know it’s me.
@1 you idiot, bess is 5000x hotter than this cow (no offense to the HOPA!)
A Chuppa is a canopy under which a Jewish bride and groom stand during their wedding ceremony.
-Jewish LEH quant
“HOPA” is the litteral pronunciation of “HPoA”. The HO is short for “hot” and the PA is well…you know.
I’m shocked! Shocked! I say, to learn that their are dickhead bosses in the broker community!!!
She is attractive though and some other dickhead will hire her probably.
Beth Levin, you vicious animal liar!
I wish this would have come out before Christina Romer decided to quit. Christina, if you are reading this, seriously consider following Bess’ advice, other than the sex part (given the obesity thing).
HOPA > PMB
@41 – She is using a contraction for “assistant has” – therefore the apostrophe’s (<– See what I did there?) correct. Awkward, but correct. There's only so much room on a whiteboard, after all.
HPOA is the new killin’ it.
@55: bench @57 above your head. He’ll be the one with the nailgun. I’ll be the blonde LMFAO.
FUPA is the new killing it
@64: Its true that that particular whiteboard has limited space, but having examined the photo a second time, I believe she could have written “assistant has” rather than using the contraction. There would have been ample space.
Furthermore, there are whiteboards which are much larger than the one she is holding up, and therefore your generalization about whiteboards’ size is incorrect.
I do see what you did there, with the apostrophe, though, and agree with your characterization of the contraction being awkward.
- guy who occasionally likes to nit-pick for no particular reason
@66, et al. I actually took the time during lunch to find the original MT post. It was a lot funnier reading it the second time around.
http://dealbreaker.com/2010/02/charlie-gasparino-i-left-cnbc-extremely-amicably/
Posted by guest | February 22, 2010 at 5:57 PM
Why don’t you all come and say your comments to my face tonight – I will be at the Minetta Tavern in an hour. I expect all of you to show up since you talk a big game.
See you there, but bring your insurance card – you will need it when I am done with you.
@41- Actually her phrase, “Being your assistant’s been a special hell,” while a bit unconventional, uses the apostrophe correctly as it abbreviates “assistant has.” Your use, however, in “someone who knows how to use apostrohpe’s” is incorrect as “apostrophes” is plural and does not need an apostrophe. If that was supposed to be ironic, it was far too vague to be funny.
-NY Times Style Editor who is still trying to wrap his brain around why Jenny wrote “HOPA” so many times and then defined what a “HPOA” was and then sent it to the entire company as her parting words
I heard Kouwe did this when he quit the NYT and DB. It’s his signature goodbye
@69 – I will be at Harry’s tonight drinking a J&B on the rocks AND a corona. Punch me in the face if you want to keep your spleen.
@64- Beat me too it. I like the cut of your jib, sailor.
-@70 who is still more concerned with the “HOPA”/”HPOA” error
@73- You should use “to” correctly as you are supposedly the NY Times Style Editor on this thread.
-guy speaking in the third person who claimed to be the NY Times Style Editor on this thread
@72, what if I just tell you about the specials?
@naked 48 – FT(MF)W
jenny –
assistant’sassistant hasHOPA = Her Outstanding Promotion Awaits
Dumb bitch was about to become a broker…
@51/66 – I will bring Christie, along with two doses of mdma. Order a bottle of fine Chardonnay for the two of you, a J&B NEAT for myself.
- 46
Bess is our HOPA!
Kudos to all posters on this thread. Very, very high quality!!!!!
@74 You are, in fact, not speaking in the third person.
WTF is abbreviated “has”. There is no such thing as abbreviating “has”.
Is that what passes for grammar?
She is an idiot who gives herself too much credit. OMG. She sucks.
Honey, in America, white man own you!
@80- You’re right! What an idiot he is!
-guy now speaking in third person who realizes this has gone on too long but who figured he’d finish what he started
What an ingrate..
What an ingrate..
Your use of apostrophe’s confuses and frightens me
Methinks she might want to upgrade that home library and dump the Encyclopedia Britannica for something more “brokerish.”
This kind of sh*t happens all the time at CNBC
@NS/@69 ftmwf, I was wondering where this all started, now we know!
@66
Meet me on Stone Street at 7:30, I’ll be the guy who looks like all the rest but with fluorescent yellow frogskins. Buy me a beer so I know its you (thanksss)
I wonder how she likes her new Iphone?
- Guy who likes to play photo hunt
@68, It’s “it’s,” not its. It’s = it is. Its = the possessive, meaning belonging to it.
@81 Contracting “has” is routine, e.g. “he has been fired” = “he’s been fired.” Contracting an STD from a HOPA, however, is a rare and special treat.
I can’t believe no one’s identified the brokerage yet. How lazy are you people?
@91 that is the big mystery; some saying hoax
The Great HOPA Hoax? I want to believe in the HOPA.
mo-ron
so her boss loses his assistant but she provides him with some hot pictures of her in daisy dukes and a tank top? gee, i wonder if Spencer thinks he came out behind or ahead on that trade!
It’s the new Obama slogan: “HOPe and Ass”
Story about hoax, or not:
http://mediamemo.allthingsd.com/20100810/meet-the-prankster-brothers-behind-jenny-the-whiteboard-using-farmville-exposing-hpoa-girl/
If only Slater had used whiteboards. She gets 200,000+ likes on facebook and he gets one free can of beer (plus jail time for “criminal mischief”).
@91/92/97- Call me old-fashioned but I think that if the DB commentariat and Bess can’t confirm which brokerage this came from within 12 hours then it’s a hoax.
Not to mention the obvious– this girl leaves her job at a brokerage in a blaze of glory in a major recession because her boss used an acronym calling her hot? Grow up. Also she lacks attention to detail (HPOA vs. HOPA), seems questionably a little too cute, and her coworkers would have been forced to open 33 pictures of her, one-by-one? Nope.
“Hopa”?
Uhhh…guys, has anyone considered that maybe her boss was doing a toast in Greek?
~AIG Aegean Quant
i heard this whole thing was a hoax.
Confirmed hoax
http://thechive.com/2010/08/11/a-word-from-jenny-16-photos/
I heard this whole thing was ridiculous.
Confirmed.
It’s off topic but anyone know a good treatment for this for my son?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – -
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