Billionaires Shamed For Not Signing Up For Gates/Buffett ‘Pledge’

So, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett has this thing called the “Giving Pledge,” wherein the super rich promise to donate at least half their money to charities. The latest version of the list was recently released and it includes names like Jim Simons, John Arnold, Pete Peterson, Sandy Weill. Please take a moment to offer a golf clap for those guys.

Way more importantly, however, are the people who haven’t signed up for the cause, whose names the Journal has helpfully rounded up. Some of them, which the paper demonstrated enormous restraint in not calling cheapskates, can legitimately be publicly shamed for their lack of generosity. But the inclusion of a few others is pretty unfair.

Paul Tudor Jones, for instance, has this little thing called the Robin Hood Foundation. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? So they’re probably getting a good amount of his cash. David Tepper has agreed to donated his balls to science upon his death, a contribution to society you cannot put a price on. In addition to the many worthy organizations he gives money to, every single week for the past ten years, Steve Cohen has invited the neighborhood kids over to play him in a hockey game, them wearing Soviet-era gear, him riding a Z made from re-purposed monster truck parts that shoot out pucks at random, with a glassed-in Pope-mobile-like top in place of a mask. Winner gets 20 bucks. And for Christ’s sake, let us not forget that George Soros has been tirelessly working to legalize marijuana, a gift far greater than any monetary bequeathment. So put that in your (grav-)bong and smoke it.

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59 Responses to “Billionaires Shamed For Not Signing Up For Gates/Buffett ‘Pledge’”

  1. guest says:

    Hi WSJ ever heard of Bill Ackman?

  2. CoveredLong says:

    You’d think a guy as a smart as WB would know that not everyone can take the “Giving Pledge” – some people have to take the “Receiving Pledge”, it’s just science.

    -Bill Nye

  3. Anonymous says:

    think you meant monetary, not momentary…

  4. Anonymous says:

    why give it away when i can use it to buy my 20th murcielago

  5. Anonymouse says:

    Also forgot to mention Jeff Eppstein’s helping hands foundation. It has been changing childrens’ lives for decades.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Or Donald Trump’s support of beauty pageants

  7. Anonymous says:

    What happened to building empires and amassing great family fortunes so your name is remembered for centuries?

  8. Brant Leland says:

    Do you still have to give your money away if you didn’t make it selling awful software and owning junk food companies?

  9. trojan says:

    Giving is the new receiving

  10. Anonymous says:

    I bet the only reason Sandy “The Real Bad Deal” is giving money is to have his name next to Buffet and Gates and pretend he’s still a big shot.

  11. anon says:

    Oh, the embarrassment. The utter shame. It’s just too much to bare. Is there nothing that will ease the pain of this humiliation? Oh, well. I guess there’s always THESE BILLIONS BITCHES!!!

    -George Soros, Ray Dalio, John Paulson, Steve Cohen, etal.

  12. Jimmy says:

    Charity = waste of money

  13. Anonymous says:


    The French Revolution. The guillotine also played a significant role.

  14. guest says:

    12 is correct. Giving to charity merely crowds out nummy Socialist nanny-state stimulus moneys.
    -noted economist

  15. Joseph4GI says:

    Philanthropists and donors should mind what cause they give money to. It is very generous that Mr. Gates wants to contribute, but he is also advocating a grave human rights violation.

    It seems he couldn’t advocate male circumcision enough in Vienna, and he seems so eager to help African roll out these “mass circumcision campaigns” to circumcise both adult men and non-consenting minors alike.

    The slogan in Vienna was “Rights here, right now.” Pressuring African men to take up a dubious method of “protection” that requires them to undergo radical genital surgery is not exactly my idea of “rights,” especially when there are cheaper, more effective methods of protection possible, and, especially when forcing circumcision on healthy, non-consenting minors who are not at risk for HIV transmission.

    I urge donors and philanthropists to withhold support from organizations who promote forced surgery on minors under medical pretexts. Do not bankroll the violation of basic human rights.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Making money through gaming the system and cheating on taxes, only to turn around and pretend to be “giving it back” through charities designed to help cheat the tax system yet again?

    I can hardly be enthused by it.

    How about they all get together to pay into the Taxpayer 2008 Bailout Charity where money would go to cover the holes created by the likes of AIG, GM, Frennie, etc… ? I’d be impressed then.

  17. Anonymous says:

    @16 go suck a dick

  18. ouch says:

    @ 17

    Calm down, it hurts when you get excited.

  19. Anonymous says:

    I’m fairly sure all these guys give to charity, why should warren buffet take credit for it??

  20. Anonymous says:

    I noticed that Bess mentioned wearing Soviet-era gear while playing a game of hockey. Reminds me of a time long ago when the owner of Minetta’s let us soap up the floors and play broom ball in the back kitchen.

    – Gordon Bombay

  21. reader says:

    I thought when giving your not supposed to let the left hand know what the right gives

  22. -Jack Meoff says:

    sometimes i sit on my hand till it goes numb and do the “stranger”

  23. Anonymous says:

    Why don’t they donate to fields that actually produce societal returns, like engineering or medical research, aside from footnote-in-history bleeding-heart cultural memes?

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  58. Steve Cohen has asked for the district children over to play him in a hockey game, them wearing Soviet-era gear, him travelling a Z made from re-purposed monster truck components that fire out pucks at random this being with a glassed-in Pope-mobile-like top in place of a mask. victor gets 20 bucks. And for Christ’s sake and so please let us not forget that George Soros has been tirelessly working to legalize marijuana(is this good or not?), a gift far greater than any monetary bequeathment.