So, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett has this thing called the “Giving Pledge,” wherein the super rich promise to donate at least half their money to charities. The latest version of the list was recently released and it includes names like Jim Simons, John Arnold, Pete Peterson, Sandy Weill. Please take a moment to offer a golf clap for those guys.

Way more importantly, however, are the people who haven’t signed up for the cause, whose names the Journal has helpfully rounded up. Some of them, which the paper demonstrated enormous restraint in not calling cheapskates, can legitimately be publicly shamed for their lack of generosity. But the inclusion of a few others is pretty unfair.

Paul Tudor Jones, for instance, has this little thing called the Robin Hood Foundation. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? So they’re probably getting a good amount of his cash. David Tepper has agreed to donated his balls to science upon his death, a contribution to society you cannot put a price on. In addition to the many worthy organizations he gives money to, every single week for the past ten years, Steve Cohen has invited the neighborhood kids over to play him in a hockey game, them wearing Soviet-era gear, him riding a Z made from re-purposed monster truck parts that shoot out pucks at random, with a glassed-in Pope-mobile-like top in place of a mask. Winner gets 20 bucks. And for Christ’s sake, let us not forget that George Soros has been tirelessly working to legalize marijuana, a gift far greater than any monetary bequeathment. So put that in your (grav-)bong and smoke it.

59 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (59)

  1. Posted by guest | August 4, 2010 at 5:54 PM

    Hi WSJ ever heard of Bill Ackman?

  2. Posted by CoveredLong | August 4, 2010 at 5:57 PM

    You’d think a guy as a smart as WB would know that not everyone can take the “Giving Pledge” – some people have to take the “Receiving Pledge”, it’s just science.

    -Bill Nye

  3. Posted by Anonymous | August 4, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    think you meant monetary, not momentary…

  4. Posted by Anonymous | August 4, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    why give it away when i can use it to buy my 20th murcielago

  5. Posted by Anonymouse | August 4, 2010 at 6:06 PM

    Also forgot to mention Jeff Eppstein’s helping hands foundation. It has been changing childrens’ lives for decades.

  6. Posted by Anonymous | August 4, 2010 at 6:21 PM

    Or Donald Trump’s support of beauty pageants

  7. Posted by Anonymous | August 4, 2010 at 6:58 PM

    What happened to building empires and amassing great family fortunes so your name is remembered for centuries?

  8. Posted by Brant Leland | August 4, 2010 at 7:03 PM

    Do you still have to give your money away if you didn’t make it selling awful software and owning junk food companies?

  9. Posted by trojan | August 4, 2010 at 7:19 PM

    Giving is the new receiving

  10. Posted by Anonymous | August 4, 2010 at 9:18 PM

    I bet the only reason Sandy “The Real Bad Deal” is giving money is to have his name next to Buffet and Gates and pretend he’s still a big shot.

  11. Posted by anon | August 4, 2010 at 9:27 PM

    Oh, the embarrassment. The utter shame. It’s just too much to bare. Is there nothing that will ease the pain of this humiliation? Oh, well. I guess there’s always THESE BILLIONS BITCHES!!!

    -George Soros, Ray Dalio, John Paulson, Steve Cohen, etal.

  12. Posted by Jimmy | August 4, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    Charity = waste of money

  13. Posted by Anonymous | August 4, 2010 at 9:59 PM

    @7,

    The French Revolution. The guillotine also played a significant role.

  14. Posted by guest | August 4, 2010 at 10:24 PM

    12 is correct. Giving to charity merely crowds out nummy Socialist nanny-state stimulus moneys.
    -noted economist

  15. Posted by Joseph4GI | August 5, 2010 at 12:36 AM

    Philanthropists and donors should mind what cause they give money to. It is very generous that Mr. Gates wants to contribute, but he is also advocating a grave human rights violation.

    It seems he couldn’t advocate male circumcision enough in Vienna, and he seems so eager to help African roll out these “mass circumcision campaigns” to circumcise both adult men and non-consenting minors alike.

    The slogan in Vienna was “Rights here, right now.” Pressuring African men to take up a dubious method of “protection” that requires them to undergo radical genital surgery is not exactly my idea of “rights,” especially when there are cheaper, more effective methods of protection possible, and, especially when forcing circumcision on healthy, non-consenting minors who are not at risk for HIV transmission.

    I urge donors and philanthropists to withhold support from organizations who promote forced surgery on minors under medical pretexts. Do not bankroll the violation of basic human rights.

  16. Posted by Anonymous | August 5, 2010 at 1:38 AM

    Making money through gaming the system and cheating on taxes, only to turn around and pretend to be “giving it back” through charities designed to help cheat the tax system yet again?

    I can hardly be enthused by it.

    How about they all get together to pay into the Taxpayer 2008 Bailout Charity where money would go to cover the holes created by the likes of AIG, GM, Frennie, etc… ? I’d be impressed then.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | August 5, 2010 at 8:20 AM

    @16 go suck a dick

  18. Posted by ouch | August 5, 2010 at 9:00 AM

    @ 17

    Calm down, it hurts when you get excited.

  19. Posted by Anonymous | August 5, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    I’m fairly sure all these guys give to charity, why should warren buffet take credit for it??

  20. Posted by Anonymous | August 5, 2010 at 10:25 AM

    I noticed that Bess mentioned wearing Soviet-era gear while playing a game of hockey. Reminds me of a time long ago when the owner of Minetta’s let us soap up the floors and play broom ball in the back kitchen.

    - Gordon Bombay

  21. Posted by reader | August 5, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    I thought when giving your not supposed to let the left hand know what the right gives

  22. Posted by -Jack Meoff | August 5, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    sometimes i sit on my hand till it goes numb and do the “stranger”

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    Why don’t they donate to fields that actually produce societal returns, like engineering or medical research, aside from footnote-in-history bleeding-heart cultural memes?

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