Only half-serious, of course (though Vickles does love a charity case). What the bank does care about is having its wealthy clients’ hard-earned money pissed away by a bunch of pissants who need to be put on a leash.
Citigroup is testing a website to let millionaires’ children manage their allowances, while alerting parents and bankers when scions blow through cash too quickly. Heirs to Citigroup’s wealthiest clients can log in to parent-funded accounts for discretionary spending, investments and “one-click giving” to charities. The site was developed by Tile Financial LLC, founded by former New York Stock Exchange finance chief and Bear Stearns Cos. analyst Amy Butte.
Citi is doing this for itself, of course, but also because they want to see these kids succeed and grow up to be clients of the bank just like mommy and daddy. And hey, being responsible about money isn’t so horrible right? Doesn’t building a portfolio sound just as much fun as blowing rails off a stripper’s ass?
Young heirs can get spending accounts linked to debit cards, and they can craft investment portfolios in consultation with a parent’s private banker. Tile also offers one-click giving to pre-approved charities, including Rainforest Action Network and the Global Fund for Children. Butte said she decided to create the site partly to help parents talk to their children about money. She got the idea after seeing her husband, a money manager, stumble while discussing finances with her four stepchildren, ages 17 to 23. In a blog item on Huffington Post in March, she wrote that most adults find it easier to talk about sex than money. “Young adults have no place to go to learn about money and learn about finance, particularly in a tone and a medium that they can relate to,” she said.
Having said that, Citi is a full service bank and Vikram tells a great birds and bees story, if anyone needs some help, he’s here for ya.
Citigroup Millionaires’ Heirs Get Website for Allowances, One-Click Gifts [Bloomberg]
MORE CAPTION CONTESTS. IT REQUIRES NO WRITING FOR YOU.
- Zach K.
In Soviet Russia, stripper’s ass blow young heir’s rail!
Wait Citi has wealthy clients?
Housekeeping! You want mint for pillow?
“Birds and Bees” would be a great title for a Hank Paulson-John Thain nature guide collaberation. Just sayin’…
Lights on, most def.
But where are the Citi bankers spoiled children?
@5, not bad but if you want to see a book that will outsell Liar’s Poker, Monkey Business and all seven copies of the LSO book that got sold try this out: “Birds, Bees and Bess.” Boom. Done.
Parent’s private banker: And that’s what a bull market is.
Child: Does it have to be your bull?
Parent’s private banker: I don’t understand.
Child: You’re fired.
@9 – Boom goes the dynamite!
“if the parent cannot be contacted Vikram will personally shove a boot up little Billy’s ass”
LMAO
@10 – I know who you are, meet me at Minetta’s.
I sure hope my dad doesn’t hear about this.
-Nicole Buffett
citi stockholders need to throw their ex failed trash fund manager pandit into the nearest dumpster and bring in someone with real banking experience if they ever want to see this stock stay over a lousy $4!!!
Erin Burnett, dead fish or wild boar in the sack?
@15 dead fish.
@9 you, sir, have a complete understanding of the wealth management business
@15, dead fish, you know it…
@ 15 Dead Fish . . . but she thinks she is a wild boar
@15 Wild boar, but stinks like a dead fish?
I totally disagree, I bet she smells like a rose garden and shags like a minx…..and also swallows the entire load without trouble
SHUT THE FUCK UP KOUWE!
-Not Vikram, but a guy who knows he’s been dying to say that
-Also, a guy who had to bring it back
@20 – you left out the part at the end where she says “Please, sir, can I have some more?” in her best Oliver Twist tone