• 06 Aug 2010 at 12:30 PM

From Who And How Does Charlie Gasparino Get His Scoops?

Here’s one: how many times have you watched Charlie Gasparino break a story and wonder to yourself, “How does this guy do it? Where does he get these stories? Who are his sources? How does he get them to crack?” Whether it’s the Goldman prop situation, Jimmy Cayne’s uromysitisis condition or Dick Fuld’s inability to post bail after getting arrested for going ape-shit on a CostoCo employee, Gaspo’s always got it. Is it that Chaz:

a) Has put in quality time with this broad, who knows all?

b) Leaves threatening voicemails on people’s machines, suggesting if he doesn’t get the story, he’ll break off their cojones and boil them in motor oil, which typically motivates them to give him the dirt?

c) Tails Andrew Ross Sorkin to his source meetings, waits for him outside and proceeds to rub a chloroform soaked rag on ARS’s face, steal his notes and make a mad dash for Elaine’s, where no one will ask questions?

d) Has an army of San Pietro bus boys on payroll who report back anything they heard from the movers and shakers dining at the restaurant after their shift?

e) Has realized that it’s the interns in every organization who hold the secrets, and to that end has endeared himself to the ones at the major banks by taking them out for drinks at Tropix, his favorite joint in Rego Park, where they have a lax policy on underage drinking?

This morning, Charlie revealed the answer.

Apparently it’s the interns.

30 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (30)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    Uromysitisis is not a medically acknowledged disease.

    -Mark Klein M.D.

  2. Posted by a-man | August 6, 2010 at 12:50 PM

    the situation is fluid

  3. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    D is clearly the answer.

    -Intern Bitches

  4. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    He goes to Taverns and hides in the bathroom stalls.

  5. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | August 6, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    The Jabroni is getting a little chunky in da midsection. Cannoli sales must be good.

  6. Posted by Paint the Night | August 6, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    He goes to a certain tavern in the Village and fights three, maybe four guys, each night, while gargling broken glass and performing sidewalk abortions using dental floss, a Forest Hills class ring, and lint from his pockets.

  7. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    Gasparino in Italian means one who farts so smelly he gets people to tell him secrets.

    It’s in the genes.

  8. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    Threatens people with his 3rd leg in the Equinox steam room?

  9. Posted by Pointing out the obvious | August 6, 2010 at 1:11 PM

    I don’t know what’s busier, the guy slicing mortadella for Charlie at the Italian deli, or that Fox Business screen.

  10. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Fox Business is so bottom bucket.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 1:27 PM
  12. Posted by Guest | August 6, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    he was tailing me last night.

    The Situation

  13. Posted by Anal_yst | August 6, 2010 at 2:01 PM

    I’m just glad the ads on the right informed me that most shampoos are a waste of money, really, truly life-altering news.

    Also, fun with interns, always a good call, always.

  14. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:11 PM


    But he also makes stop at Wiggles

    – Bukharian who knows Gaspo too well

  15. Posted by Anonymouse | August 6, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    It’s so awesome seing Gasparino whore out for cash. Seing him explain to his target audience that an asset manager basically manages money is priceless. Bravo Chuck!

  16. Posted by NakedShort | August 6, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    Whats bhuhcake porno?

  17. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    I bet that someone named Courtney Crawford broke the story.

    Matt Taibbi

  18. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    I bet that someone named Courtney Crawford broke the story.

    Mutt Taibbi

  19. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:25 PM

    Who cares what his sources are, I’ve already made coin off him and his stories.
    –guy who never thought he’d make money by watching t.v. but is actually killing it

  20. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:04 PM

    @19, Hey timmy sykes!

  21. Posted by Matt Taibbi | August 6, 2010 at 4:11 PM

    not true

  22. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    So where does that put “the kids at dealbreaker?”

  23. Posted by langco | August 6, 2010 at 4:19 PM

    whoever he uses knows as little as he does!

  24. Posted by Davinci | August 7, 2010 at 4:10 PM

    I’m GS primary source.

  25. Posted by Anonymous | August 7, 2010 at 8:11 PM

    Keep these coming Bess. Love the Liz Claman side shots.

  26. Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2010 at 5:21 PM

    “from who”???? lol This looks like something the Gasbag might say or write. Obviously, this is grammatically incorrect. Since who is the object of the preposition it should be “whom”.

    Now this begs a very logical question or two. Bess, have you become so Gasbagarino smitten that you can no longer communicate? Or, perhaps you hold such adoration for him that you allow him to post under your name (that surely would explain the grammar)?

    As others have pointed out here, Bess, this guy is dumber than a doorknob and your infatuation with him is highly dilutive to your product. While he likes to self promote and speculate (when his job as a journalist to report facts), the simple fact of the matter is that he is wrong nine times out of ten with his guesses. And, every time someone points that out, he writes an anonymous message like “dat guy is really smart and I make a lot of coin off of his predictions”. Bullshit. The guy is an idiot and anyone who would put money on his nonsensical guesses is as stupid as he is.

    Do us all a favor and dump this moron.

  27. Posted by On Markets | August 9, 2010 at 9:27 AM

    Check his “scoops” against what really happened. It’s easy to “break news” when it’s not true.

  28. Posted by DJ LIBOR | August 11, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    the chris mortenson of finance

  29. Posted by Haley Tosis | August 11, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    Caption Contest:

    “Yes, I do see it now. That Dennis Kneale can sure administer a hickey! Who would have thought?”

  30. Posted by Tomas Estrada-palma | August 12, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    I drew Simple Charlie after watching him last night.