That’s how Emma, 18, refers to herself in the aspiring pop star’s debut single. Other things the Avenue Capital founder’s daughter shares:

* “I don’t gossip”

* “I don’t talk shit”

* “Everybody thinks I’m so sweet”

* “I’m the girl you love to meet”

* “Boys want to take me out to eat”

* “But little do they know”

* “I’ve got a little secret no one knows”

What does Daddy Lasry think of the track? “It wouldn’t be my first choice for a title,’’ Lasry told Deal Journal. “But the song is really good. It’s a catchy tune.” Other things we learn about Emma via the video to “Closet Bitch” include the fact that she’s a big fan of leather, Khloe Kardashian, and black lace push-up bras.

Meet Emma Lasry: The Aspiring Mariah Carey of the Hedge Fund World [Deal Journal]

259 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (259)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 6:22 PM

    does Wayne Brady need to choke a bitch?

  2. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Gouge out my fucking eyes and save me from that horror.

    -Mutherfuckin E to the Gloucester

  3. Posted by Jimmy | August 10, 2010 at 6:27 PM

    Wow. That song is terrible, the girl isn’t even cute.

    Here is a hint honey, get rid of the whore clothes, and you will make a very polite boy at your safety school very happy.

  4. Posted by Tax.Chick | August 10, 2010 at 6:38 PM

    Woof. That may be the most discusting bitch I’ve ever seen. And the rest of dogs in the video are almost as bad…

    Really, people in the NE have really bad taste in women. What’s the point of being loaded if you had to procreate with her mommy…

    I’ve never seen a HF manager or a banker MD around the tri-state area with an even remotely decent-looking woman.

    Losers.

  5. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 6:44 PM

    Wow, rollin deep in the acura suv. I should have killed it right there, but i waited for the fat legs and flipflops….

  6. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    God damn, get that girl some plastic surgery, she is ugly as shit!

  7. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 6:59 PM

    and money still can’t buy class

  8. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 7:01 PM

    @5 Japanese near-luxury is the new killing it…in San Bernadino

    Glad to see that the 2 and 20 is not wasted on gym membership or plastic surgery

  9. Posted by Marc Lasry | August 10, 2010 at 7:07 PM

    She was adopted. Not that I care, or anything, I mean, she is gorgeous and proudly my daughter, but… just wanted to put it out there.

  10. Posted by The Littlest Bitch | August 10, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    Two martini salute, girl

  11. Posted by BrotherBear | August 10, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    Bigger eyebrows is challenging…

  12. Posted by Kosta Kovachev | August 10, 2010 at 7:49 PM

    Lasry is a decent guy, even though he is an Obambi supporter. I don’t take issue with him financing this silly artistic debut I only take issue with including that obese loser Kardashian who is the most annoying brain dead ho I have seen and probably has mob ties…

  13. Posted by Haters gonna hate | August 10, 2010 at 7:59 PM

    Real father: Sam Eagle

  14. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 8:04 PM

    This girl is a closet bitch.

    Matt Taibbi

  15. Posted by Big Fat Slob | August 10, 2010 at 8:04 PM

    “I’ve got a secret no one knows… I’ve got a cock and two huge balls”

  16. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 8:32 PM

    FugPOA

  17. Posted by Groucho | August 10, 2010 at 8:42 PM

    Nair is available as a creamy lotion, a mousse, and a roll-on applicator.

  18. Posted by HOPA | August 10, 2010 at 8:47 PM

    @Chelsea’s wedding

    Chelsea: Hi, can I help you?
    Emma: Avenue Capital sent me to stand next to you so you’d look better by comparison.
    Chelsea: That’s ridiculous, I don’t…
    Marc Mezvinsky: Chelsea, did you get less ugly?
    Chelsea: Yeah!

  19. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 8:47 PM

    Just give me the chance, boss. I would hate fuck the bitch right out of dis sassy tart.

    /Bobby Benz

  20. Posted by always spottem | August 10, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    Autotune much?

  21. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 9:10 PM

    @18 I love it!!! Perfect line and finds a way to be positive about the subject to boot.

    I gotta ask though – how would this play in Soviet Russia?

  22. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 9:15 PM

    Typical nouveau riche Wall Street. The old money days are over and this is the replacement. They have destroyed the East End and now their offspring will continue their parents disgusting habits and lifestyle. At least they still can’t get into the good clubs.

  23. Posted by guest | August 10, 2010 at 9:28 PM

    I blame the parents. Daddy too busy earning 2/20 to realize his daughter has turned out to be a foul mouthed slut. What an embarassment. I’m assuming the mother was cut from the same cloth. Perhaps Lasry can call Laurence Fishburne to prepare for what’s next.

  24. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 9:47 PM

    Babe Ruth called, he wants his socks back

  25. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 9:50 PM

    Love the bondage look.

    ~Gundlach

  26. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 9:54 PM

    Judging by the state of her eyebrows, I presume she is like the Amazon rain forest in the box region.

    ~guy who presumes eyebrows and box hair are correlated

  27. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 9:56 PM

    Lights OFF, red and white knee-high socks ON, push-up bra ON

  28. Posted by FinkNottle | August 10, 2010 at 9:58 PM

    @18, its the same reason she got Khloe Kardashian to stand next to her

  29. Posted by Anonymous | August 10, 2010 at 10:06 PM

    Lights on or off, really doesn’t make a difference.

    ~Gov. Paterson

  30. Posted by givemeaBREAK | August 10, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    After watching the video and struggling to hold down my lunch, at least the comments are very entertaining! Emma, please, keep your day job even it is only spending daddy’s money! BEST comment IMO is the last line of #23 about calling Laurence Fishburne since I spit coffee all over myself on that one! #12- don’t be an azz – leave politics OUT of it sheeesh! And BTW though a close second to her sister, it’s KIM Kardashian who is the MAJOR bow wow..or I should say meow. All that plastic surgery left her looking like a cat! (my apologies to the feline variety.) Dayum my corneas have burned those video images into my brain! Hellllp meeeeeeeeee!!

  31. Posted by guest | August 10, 2010 at 11:26 PM

    Ashley Dupre is a lot classier . . .

  32. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 12:32 AM

    @9 Nice.

  33. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 12:47 AM

    And black’s supposed to be slimming…I bet Daddy’s jacked that she kept her last name in her stage name so he can be directly associated…

  34. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 2:41 AM

    18 FTW

  35. Posted by whatsmynametoday | August 11, 2010 at 8:08 AM

    OMFG. Jon Lovitz in drag or somethin

  36. Posted by Kosta | August 11, 2010 at 8:28 AM

    Major SELL signal for all Avenue Capital investors!!!!!! Get out, fast.

  37. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 8:29 AM

    You know what really makes her ugly? The fact that she thinks she’s pretty.

  38. Posted by streethockey | August 11, 2010 at 9:40 AM

    my mouth is agape, in a bad way.
    holy cow, what parent signed off on this? i can just see the ghetto guys who filmed and edited this laughing in the studio as they looked at the footage of the pillow fight.
    pillow fight? flipflops? wow.

  39. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    @26 yeah. John Mack was like a frickin tarantula, if it matters.

  40. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 10:04 AM

    manface.

    -Guy who can sum up everything you need to know about a story in one word.

  41. Posted by Kosta | August 11, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    Avenue hired Tom Brady’s BFF / pimp as a marketer, I’m beginning to wonder about his judgement…

  42. Posted by Anonymouse | August 11, 2010 at 10:59 AM

    I wouldn’t even fuck that with Ping’s marker.

  43. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 11:13 AM

    @18 FTW

  44. Posted by Jagson | August 11, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    Who said that you can’t make money with shit? I am sure she gets her own reality show, called “Slut Fest”

  45. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    @41 Seriously!? Will McDonough is the mastermind of this video? Link?

  46. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    I’ve actually heard the song and its really good… and i think she’s cute :)

  47. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    Why is everyone here acting like a giant bitch? Give the kid a break. Worse things have happened other than crazy music.

  48. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 11:29 AM

    @47 Just bringing out the “closet bitch” in all of us!

  49. Posted by Jagson | August 11, 2010 at 11:35 AM

    LOL@48

  50. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 12:32 PM

    Chunkier would be better, not.

  51. Posted by b | August 11, 2010 at 12:48 PM

    fat chicks smell

  52. Posted by anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    won’t have to worry about joining the clubs. Daddy just bought one: The Cloister, Sea Island, Georgia.

  53. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 1:27 PM

    i’d give her a shag

  54. Posted by Anal_yst | August 11, 2010 at 1:50 PM

    I’ve been saying it for a decade+: parenting in this country (or really the lack thereof) will be our downfall.

  55. Posted by Anal_yst | August 11, 2010 at 1:50 PM

    also, someone please introduce this girl to eyebrow threading

  56. Posted by Yo Me | August 11, 2010 at 2:24 PM

    OMG she sucks moosecock.

  57. Posted by mich | August 11, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    in Soviet Russia, eyebrows trim you

    -stand in for the russki

  58. Posted by WorkingClassMan | August 11, 2010 at 2:34 PM

    Vanity record; there’s no other reason this loser gets a recording contract. Money, Daddy’s connections and lots of payola get this brat all the attention.

    I’d like to know what singer, songwriter or band who paid their dues, worked hard for little money and became true artist(s) lost the deal to this little brat.

    This girl’s gonna go the way the records Debbie Gibson, Brooke Hogan, Paris Hilton, Don Johnson and other wannabes will go…straight to the $1 bin at your favorite used shop.

    Enjoy your 15 minutes, kid; the clock is ticking…

  59. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    The start of the video was wierd… but in the end I kinda liked it

    -tranchefoot

  60. Posted by Chewbacca | August 11, 2010 at 4:32 PM

    If only she would stop trimming her eyebrows, I would marry this girl.

  61. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    @54/55 I thought you were around 26 years old? You must have been one helluva cool teenager lecturing on parenting.

    Anal_yst = Fun Guy

    Also, why are you so knowledgeable about “eyebrow threading”?

  62. Posted by Anal_yst | August 11, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    @61

    1. I grew up in a middle/upper middle class ‘burb in North NJ (not much different than where our dear Bess grew up, but I digress). Alot of families had a Benz (or two or three) in the garage of their 4,000+sqft house but the kids were screwups or just coasted through life sans direction/ambition. They weren’t nearly as involved in their kids lives as they should have been, and as a result, instead of their kids studying to get into a top school (etc) they were busy getting drunk in the woods, skipping classes, etc*. It was pretty clear that if thats what happened in a pasty-white, affluent town, it must be orders of magnitude worse in less affluent (etc) areas.

    *not that one can’t study, play sports, etc and still enjoy skipping classes and drinking in the woods

    2. Have you ever walked around in NYC? You can’t miss it, the places that have plasma screens in the windows showing what it is/how its done.

  63. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 7:31 PM

    Must be a big closet to hide the bitchiness AND that nose.

  64. Posted by anon | August 11, 2010 at 7:33 PM

    @7, TRUE THAT!

  65. Posted by Alanon | August 11, 2010 at 7:44 PM

    She’s “got a secret no one knows?” Ummmm….transvestite? chest like a 14 year old boy? no talent? pilates hasn’t helped the thick legs? daddy bought you your 15 minutes of fame? you kick it in an acura? you blow guys for free meals but then you’ll complain about the diner because it didn’t have cheese-fries?

    C’mon, did I guess it???

  66. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 8:19 PM

    @61 I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.

    Interesting theory, but I’ve seen the opposite happen–the hungrier the kids are for a better life the harder they work.

    I haven’t walked around NYC lately–don’t live there anymore.

  67. Posted by Anonymous | August 11, 2010 at 8:24 PM

    @66 s/b @62

  68. Posted by outoftheclosetbitch | August 11, 2010 at 9:56 PM

    No she didn’t!? Really? Really?

  69. Posted by Anonymous | August 12, 2010 at 7:10 AM

    @46 Welcome to Dealbreaker Mr. Marc Lazry!

  70. Posted by guywhogougedhiseyesout | August 12, 2010 at 11:46 AM

    must unhear song.

    eardrums about to be punctured.

  71. Posted by Anonymous | August 12, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    @69 wrong spelling.

  72. Posted by Anonymous | August 12, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    When did they start teaching farm animals to sing?

  73. Posted by woifw | August 12, 2010 at 4:47 PM

    Why is everyone here saying shes fat? shes a 17 year old girl. relax…you are all pretty crazy and big losers if you spend ur time harassing a little girl

    grow up.

  74. Posted by uouoire | August 12, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    this is so funny! i loved it!

    keep workin girl, ur doing more than these a holes on this site who have nothing better to do than be mean to a little kid.

  75. Posted by Stuart Smalley CFA | August 12, 2010 at 9:23 PM

    1. If you wear leather pants, please have hips and legs.
    2. If you can afford to have daddy make you a video, you should of gotten a nose job first.

    3. Who wants to bet Akon signs her to a huge debt laden contract ?

  76. Posted by Stuart Smalley CFA | August 12, 2010 at 9:33 PM

    Btw. Im a closet bitch.

  77. Posted by Registered Rep | August 12, 2010 at 10:59 PM

    Did I just see the big Kardashian chick in the video..Wow thats like a big foot sighting.

  78. Posted by Anonymous | August 12, 2010 at 11:29 PM

    her next single is titled: “im a human toilet”

  79. Posted by Anonymous | August 13, 2010 at 1:41 AM

    I’ve known this girl for years, and believe me she can sing. It’s just a shame she thought that the only way in was through auto-tune because Emma has an amazing voice, this just doesn’t do her any justice. It’s also not the best image to start out with… was the bra hanging out completely necessarily? C’mon.

  80. Posted by UpChuck | August 13, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    i’ll bet she takes it in the A$$…all fat chicks do.

  81. Posted by Anonymous | August 13, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    @80 that girl is not fat. Strong features perhaps, but not fat.

    - guy who thinks 80 is anorexic

  82. Posted by Anal Lyst | August 13, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    Avenue is one of our clients. I’ll bring her a brown bag.

  83. Posted by jj | August 23, 2010 at 9:59 PM

    she takes it up the @ss

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