That’s how Emma, 18, refers to herself in the aspiring pop star’s debut single. Other things the Avenue Capital founder’s daughter shares:
* “I don’t gossip”
* “I don’t talk shit”
* “Everybody thinks I’m so sweet”
* “I’m the girl you love to meet”
* “Boys want to take me out to eat”
* “But little do they know”
* “I’ve got a little secret no one knows”
What does Daddy Lasry think of the track? “It wouldn’t be my first choice for a title,’’ Lasry told Deal Journal. “But the song is really good. It’s a catchy tune.” Other things we learn about Emma via the video to “Closet Bitch” include the fact that she’s a big fan of leather, Khloe Kardashian, and black lace push-up bras.
Meet Emma Lasry: The Aspiring Mariah Carey of the Hedge Fund World [Deal Journal]
does Wayne Brady need to choke a bitch?
Gouge out my fucking eyes and save me from that horror.
-Mutherfuckin E to the Gloucester
Wow. That song is terrible, the girl isn’t even cute.
Here is a hint honey, get rid of the whore clothes, and you will make a very polite boy at your safety school very happy.
Woof. That may be the most discusting bitch I’ve ever seen. And the rest of dogs in the video are almost as bad…
Really, people in the NE have really bad taste in women. What’s the point of being loaded if you had to procreate with her mommy…
I’ve never seen a HF manager or a banker MD around the tri-state area with an even remotely decent-looking woman.
Losers.
Wow, rollin deep in the acura suv. I should have killed it right there, but i waited for the fat legs and flipflops….
God damn, get that girl some plastic surgery, she is ugly as shit!
and money still can’t buy class
@5 Japanese near-luxury is the new killing it…in San Bernadino
Glad to see that the 2 and 20 is not wasted on gym membership or plastic surgery
She was adopted. Not that I care, or anything, I mean, she is gorgeous and proudly my daughter, but… just wanted to put it out there.
Two martini salute, girl
Bigger eyebrows is challenging…
Lasry is a decent guy, even though he is an Obambi supporter. I don’t take issue with him financing this silly artistic debut I only take issue with including that obese loser Kardashian who is the most annoying brain dead ho I have seen and probably has mob ties…
Real father: Sam Eagle
This girl is a closet bitch.
Matt Taibbi
“I’ve got a secret no one knows… I’ve got a cock and two huge balls”
FugPOA
Nair is available as a creamy lotion, a mousse, and a roll-on applicator.
@Chelsea’s wedding
Chelsea: Hi, can I help you?
Emma: Avenue Capital sent me to stand next to you so you’d look better by comparison.
Chelsea: That’s ridiculous, I don’t…
Marc Mezvinsky: Chelsea, did you get less ugly?
Chelsea: Yeah!
Just give me the chance, boss. I would hate fuck the bitch right out of dis sassy tart.
/Bobby Benz
Autotune much?
@18 I love it!!! Perfect line and finds a way to be positive about the subject to boot.
I gotta ask though – how would this play in Soviet Russia?
Typical nouveau riche Wall Street. The old money days are over and this is the replacement. They have destroyed the East End and now their offspring will continue their parents disgusting habits and lifestyle. At least they still can’t get into the good clubs.
I blame the parents. Daddy too busy earning 2/20 to realize his daughter has turned out to be a foul mouthed slut. What an embarassment. I’m assuming the mother was cut from the same cloth. Perhaps Lasry can call Laurence Fishburne to prepare for what’s next.
Babe Ruth called, he wants his socks back
Love the bondage look.
~Gundlach
Judging by the state of her eyebrows, I presume she is like the Amazon rain forest in the box region.
~guy who presumes eyebrows and box hair are correlated
Lights OFF, red and white knee-high socks ON, push-up bra ON
@18, its the same reason she got Khloe Kardashian to stand next to her
Lights on or off, really doesn’t make a difference.
~Gov. Paterson
After watching the video and struggling to hold down my lunch, at least the comments are very entertaining! Emma, please, keep your day job even it is only spending daddy’s money! BEST comment IMO is the last line of #23 about calling Laurence Fishburne since I spit coffee all over myself on that one! #12- don’t be an azz – leave politics OUT of it sheeesh! And BTW though a close second to her sister, it’s KIM Kardashian who is the MAJOR bow wow..or I should say meow. All that plastic surgery left her looking like a cat! (my apologies to the feline variety.) Dayum my corneas have burned those video images into my brain! Hellllp meeeeeeeeee!!
Ashley Dupre is a lot classier . . .
@9 Nice.
And black’s supposed to be slimming…I bet Daddy’s jacked that she kept her last name in her stage name so he can be directly associated…
18 FTW
OMFG. Jon Lovitz in drag or somethin
Major SELL signal for all Avenue Capital investors!!!!!! Get out, fast.
You know what really makes her ugly? The fact that she thinks she’s pretty.
my mouth is agape, in a bad way.
holy cow, what parent signed off on this? i can just see the ghetto guys who filmed and edited this laughing in the studio as they looked at the footage of the pillow fight.
pillow fight? flipflops? wow.
@26 yeah. John Mack was like a frickin tarantula, if it matters.
manface.
-Guy who can sum up everything you need to know about a story in one word.
Avenue hired Tom Brady’s BFF / pimp as a marketer, I’m beginning to wonder about his judgement…
I wouldn’t even fuck that with Ping’s marker.
@18 FTW
Who said that you can’t make money with shit? I am sure she gets her own reality show, called “Slut Fest”
@41 Seriously!? Will McDonough is the mastermind of this video? Link?
I’ve actually heard the song and its really good… and i think she’s cute :)
Why is everyone here acting like a giant bitch? Give the kid a break. Worse things have happened other than crazy music.
@47 Just bringing out the “closet bitch” in all of us!
LOL@48
Chunkier would be better, not.
fat chicks smell
won’t have to worry about joining the clubs. Daddy just bought one: The Cloister, Sea Island, Georgia.
i’d give her a shag
I’ve been saying it for a decade+: parenting in this country (or really the lack thereof) will be our downfall.
also, someone please introduce this girl to eyebrow threading
OMG she sucks moosecock.
in Soviet Russia, eyebrows trim you
-stand in for the russki
Vanity record; there’s no other reason this loser gets a recording contract. Money, Daddy’s connections and lots of payola get this brat all the attention.
I’d like to know what singer, songwriter or band who paid their dues, worked hard for little money and became true artist(s) lost the deal to this little brat.
This girl’s gonna go the way the records Debbie Gibson, Brooke Hogan, Paris Hilton, Don Johnson and other wannabes will go…straight to the $1 bin at your favorite used shop.
Enjoy your 15 minutes, kid; the clock is ticking…
The start of the video was wierd… but in the end I kinda liked it
-tranchefoot
If only she would stop trimming her eyebrows, I would marry this girl.
@54/55 I thought you were around 26 years old? You must have been one helluva cool teenager lecturing on parenting.
Anal_yst = Fun Guy
Also, why are you so knowledgeable about “eyebrow threading”?
@61
1. I grew up in a middle/upper middle class ‘burb in North NJ (not much different than where our dear Bess grew up, but I digress). Alot of families had a Benz (or two or three) in the garage of their 4,000+sqft house but the kids were screwups or just coasted through life sans direction/ambition. They weren’t nearly as involved in their kids lives as they should have been, and as a result, instead of their kids studying to get into a top school (etc) they were busy getting drunk in the woods, skipping classes, etc*. It was pretty clear that if thats what happened in a pasty-white, affluent town, it must be orders of magnitude worse in less affluent (etc) areas.
*not that one can’t study, play sports, etc and still enjoy skipping classes and drinking in the woods
2. Have you ever walked around in NYC? You can’t miss it, the places that have plasma screens in the windows showing what it is/how its done.
Must be a big closet to hide the bitchiness AND that nose.
@7, TRUE THAT!
She’s “got a secret no one knows?” Ummmm….transvestite? chest like a 14 year old boy? no talent? pilates hasn’t helped the thick legs? daddy bought you your 15 minutes of fame? you kick it in an acura? you blow guys for free meals but then you’ll complain about the diner because it didn’t have cheese-fries?
C’mon, did I guess it???
@61 I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.
Interesting theory, but I’ve seen the opposite happen–the hungrier the kids are for a better life the harder they work.
I haven’t walked around NYC lately–don’t live there anymore.
@66 s/b @62
No she didn’t!? Really? Really?
@46 Welcome to Dealbreaker Mr. Marc Lazry!
must unhear song.
eardrums about to be punctured.
@69 wrong spelling.
When did they start teaching farm animals to sing?
Why is everyone here saying shes fat? shes a 17 year old girl. relax…you are all pretty crazy and big losers if you spend ur time harassing a little girl
grow up.
this is so funny! i loved it!
keep workin girl, ur doing more than these a holes on this site who have nothing better to do than be mean to a little kid.
1. If you wear leather pants, please have hips and legs.
2. If you can afford to have daddy make you a video, you should of gotten a nose job first.
3. Who wants to bet Akon signs her to a huge debt laden contract ?
Btw. Im a closet bitch.
Did I just see the big Kardashian chick in the video..Wow thats like a big foot sighting.
her next single is titled: “im a human toilet”
I’ve known this girl for years, and believe me she can sing. It’s just a shame she thought that the only way in was through auto-tune because Emma has an amazing voice, this just doesn’t do her any justice. It’s also not the best image to start out with… was the bra hanging out completely necessarily? C’mon.
i’ll bet she takes it in the A$$…all fat chicks do.
@80 that girl is not fat. Strong features perhaps, but not fat.
- guy who thinks 80 is anorexic
Avenue is one of our clients. I’ll bring her a brown bag.
she takes it up the @ss
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