From time to time, as it’s right next to the box I need to click to open a new post, I like to check out what terms non-regular readers have searched to end up on this here site. Ping Jiang is a frequent one, as is a rotating cast of CNBC anchorettes, in addition to some that are less expected but certainly welcome, like “dogs playing poker” and “Vladimir Siforov.” Here are today’s:

#1. daniel s. loeb letter

#2. steve cohen GOP

#3. beard stroking

#4. brian hunter

#5. where is joe kernen

#6. carrianne howard

#7. topless shots

#8. Ping Jiang

#9. never mow another man’s lawn

As I’m always working for you but mostly because I demand accuracy in movie quoting, I figured I’d do everyone who is apparently lost a solid and answer the questions implied by the search terms above. So:

1) If you are looking for Dan Loeb’s latest quarterly letter, it is here. 2) Steve Cohen has indeed already rented a bunch of elephant costumes for his P&L analysts to wear for the midterm elections and to ensure the money doesn’t go to waste, he strategizes with GOP operatives every Tuesday night, though that’ll be moved to Wednesdays once The Bad Girls Club on Oxygen returns this fall. 3) I don’t know what you were looking for re “beard stroking” but I like it nevertheless. 4) I suspect this was Brian Hunter Googling himself, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Everybody say “Hi, Brian.” 5) Joe Kernan is on vacation. He’s back after Labor Day. 6) Carrianne Howard is the stripper aligning with hedge fund managers shorting for-profit schools. 7) I don’t think we’ve ever posted an actual topless shot** but feel free to peruse the “topless shots” category. I hope you find what you’re looking for. 8) Don’t know what you wanted to find about Mr. Jiang but his fund was up 49.5% through July YTD. Suck it, bitches. No, really. 9) The line is “Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don’t mow another guy’s lawn.” Write that down.

**Photos that have strategically black bars don’t count.

Comments (22)

  1. Posted by Guest | August 31, 2010 at 8:33 PM

    isnt “beard stroking” a ref to the krugman v. paulson article

  2. Posted by Anonymous | August 31, 2010 at 8:38 PM

    You’re right. I forgot. Though it could also be a reference to Greenspan’s nickname for Bernanke, which is “bearded fruit.”

  3. Posted by guest | August 31, 2010 at 8:39 PM

    disappointed that “cow puns” hasn’t got any hits here yet.

  4. Posted by Mitch Cumstein | August 31, 2010 at 8:41 PM

    No. It’s a reference to Phil Falcone’s wife, Lisa.

  5. Posted by Guestofguest | August 31, 2010 at 8:41 PM

    what was i supposed to do?! well, you didn’t have to have beers with them afterward!

  6. Posted by Mitch Cumstein | August 31, 2010 at 8:42 PM

    Crossing my fingers that someone, ANYONE, appreciates that.

  7. Posted by InfiniteGuest | August 31, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    I do. Side note, surprised her piano-playing pet pig didn’t come up today.

  8. Posted by Guest | August 31, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    nobody will grow a beard if they takes estrogen.

    -P.J.

  9. Posted by Mitch Cumstein | August 31, 2010 at 8:47 PM

    What gets you wet, attracts flies, and shouldn’t be left to the hands of minors?

  10. Posted by Mitch Cumstein | August 31, 2010 at 8:49 PM

    Lisa Falcone’s closet(s).

  11. Posted by Hamilton | August 31, 2010 at 8:53 PM

    I believe google made a mistake, the search was actually “Steve Cohen beard stroking Brian Hunter but where is Joe Kernen?”

    – Yes, I know

  12. Posted by This horse is just sleeping. | August 31, 2010 at 8:54 PM

    In Soviet Russia, Vladimir Siforov search for you!

  13. Posted by InfiniteGuest | August 31, 2010 at 8:54 PM
  14. Posted by Anonymous | August 31, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    get a room you two

  15. Posted by Anonymous | August 31, 2010 at 9:14 PM

    With regard to the topless category, to be fair there has been more than one post based upon a story in one of the London dailies that will yield said imagery when you click into the story (I’m thinking in particular of a story about an ex-HSBC banker turned fitness enthusiast that appeared in the Daily Mail w/in the last few weeks).

  16. Posted by InfiniteGuest | August 31, 2010 at 10:11 PM

    Hey, I’ll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher’s ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn’t you rather to take his word for it?

  17. Posted by Anonymous | September 1, 2010 at 3:39 AM

    Odd that there aren’t more searches by Kouwe enthusiasts.

  18. Posted by Lewis Winthorpe III | September 1, 2010 at 6:48 AM

    I’m shocked that “Minetta Tavern” wasn’t on that list, nor was “17th Round Goldman Interview”

  19. Posted by Jwiggin123 | September 1, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    Good one, Bess. I enjoyed this.

  20. Posted by tvteeth | September 1, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    Joe Kernan can feel free to stay on vacation

  21. Posted by SPP | September 2, 2010 at 1:04 AM

    In Soviet Russia, Vladimir Siforov search you!

    stick to form

  22. Posted by Guest | September 2, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    In Soviet Russia, dead flog horse you !

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