Meet Carrianne Howard. She’s the woman pictured at left in red. Some of you may not recognize her but if we took away the dress and diploma, that’d probably jog the memories of those who’ve spent time at the Lido Cabaret, a topless club in Cocoa Beach, Florida. That’s where the 26 year-old now works, for $400 to $1,000 a week, where she landed after a stint doing “adult web chats.”

It’s not the career trajectory Howard, 26, envisioned for herself, when she enrolled at the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, and had her parents plunked down $70,000 in tuition and fees for her to earn a bachelor’s degree in game and art design and, per usual, there’s one person or group of persons to blame. Goldman Sachs.

The bank owns 38 percent of the Art Institute’s parent, Education Management Corp., and according to the latest issue of Bloomberg Markets Magazine, that’s reason enough to make the leap in logic that Howard’s life of stripping (and her parents’ current financial struggles– they sold their home to pay for their daughter’s schooling at a time when neither of them had jobs) is Goldman’s fault. Don’t ask me for reasoning, it just is, okay? They (partially) own the school, so the fact that Howard graduated in December 2007, got a job from which she was later laid off and had to take up the pole to pay the bills is Goldman’s doing. To that end, how are Lloyd et al going to make this right? They put the girl in this situation, basically, and unless they want to suffer any more bad press, they’re going to throw her some sort of bone. Should they:

a) Require that all client meetings to take place at said titty bar, with generous tips going towards CH.

b) Put her through business school (“Howard now hopes to save enough to go back to college and get a business degree”) and maybe have LB writer her a rec for HBS

c) Offer her a gig as co-head of GSAM

d) Show her they get it, that they understand, that they know what she’s going through (women love that stuff) by having Lloyd come down to Florida and walk a mile in her shoes for a week

e) Your call

Stripper Finds Degree Profitable for Goldman Wasn’t Worth It

65 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (65)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    e: a,b and c. She looks older than 26!

  2. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | August 6, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    I pissed on one of the statues in the Ron Jon’s parking lot while I was on my way south to the Lido Cabaret a few months ago.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale > Harvard Extension > Yale SOM

  4. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    uhh.. she’s not 43?

  5. Posted by Anonymouse | August 6, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    AI of FL > HES > CFA > MBA

  6. Posted by NakedShort | August 6, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    Fact. She crop dusts the stage during her first song.

  7. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:24 PM

    Ultimately it is Obama’s fault.

  8. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    Lido Cabaret is the UBS of strip clubs
    Beamers MD

  9. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    Me thinks her breasts my be 26, but the rest o’ that chassis gots to be pushin 40.

  10. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    Anna Nicole Smith worked at Gigi’s on 290 in Houston as well as Rick’s. She met a geezer millionaire at one of the clubs (as well as a Playboy talent scout) because she was “thick” and the management of Gigi’s made her work days as a result. There she met J. Howard Marshall and the rest is history.

    The girl in the story just isn’t working “it”.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    Ogle School of Hair, Skin and Nails > Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale.


  12. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    She looks the tranny that always gets punched in the face outside of a certain tavern every Thursday.

  13. Posted by John | August 6, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    Please, we had to be publicly shamed into taking care of kittens. You think we’re going to pony up to support a stripper?

  14. Posted by WalMart Shopper | August 6, 2010 at 2:40 PM

    EDMC down over 9% on this story.

  15. Posted by Jag | August 6, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    $400-$1000 a week? That must be one lousy strip joint! AARP endorsed?

  16. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    Dear Howard Famiy,

    If it makes you feel any better, the people who bought your house were foreclosed on, and Goldman engineered and sold the CDO in which their mortgage was bundled, then shorted it, making a profit on both ends. Hope this helps.


    Lloyd Blankfein

  17. Posted by Tax.Chick | August 6, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    Just give her some Charlie Gasparino. Everybody needs some. That will keep her busy for years.

  18. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    why am i still in the office?

  19. Posted by client 9 | August 6, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    more importantly, how is GS is going to make it up to me for giving my life savings to that televangelist, and for stubbing my toe this morning.

  20. Posted by al | August 6, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    ‘I was an Ivy League prostitute.’ (confessions of a college hooker)Read more:
    where is outrage with this story/ if it is ivy league hooker it is OK?

  21. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    Why is a sweaty lipped Italian guy screaming and attacking me with his cock?

    /Sent via CNBC locker room emergency phone

  22. Posted by Pointing out the obvious | August 6, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    Bess, similar to the assistance you provided Beamers, perhaps you could hook her up with an apprenticeship with Geoffrey Raymond, the most fabulous artist of our time?

  23. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 2:53 PM

    She might have a pretty fair rack on her.

    ~Guy who is squinting so hard at that pic he’s getting a headache.

  24. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    @23 = Philip Jung

  25. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    I would bang her six ways to Sunday

    ~Guy who likes blurting out random cliches on a Friday afternoon when the market is in the proverbial shitter

  26. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    Are they built for speed or comfort?
    What’d you do with them? Motorboat?
    You play the motorboat?
    You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you!

  27. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:06 PM

    Anyone who’s ever been to Cocoa Beach knows that all the action goes down at the Inner Room…not the hole where this skank works…

  28. Posted by Jag | August 6, 2010 at 3:07 PM

    @23 She has a bad marketing strategy, the diploma must hang below the rackspace!

  29. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:13 PM

    Lloyd looks great with makeup and a wig! Who would’a thunk it!

  30. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:16 PM

    @24 made my day.

  31. Posted by WalMart Shopper | August 6, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    In the story, but I’ll make it easy. She’s on at 0:45

  32. Posted by Nacho | August 6, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    Lame story. Looks like a dude and has the forehead of a watermelon. Would rather take that Lorenzanalee to Applebees later today.

  33. Posted by Anal_yst | August 6, 2010 at 3:35 PM

    She could rent out that massive expanse that is her forehead for billboard ads and such…

  34. Posted by Hank Moody | August 6, 2010 at 3:39 PM

    She can design me a game anytime and I’ll RIGHT, R2, UP, UP, R2, CIRCLE, SQUARE, R2, L1, RIGHT, DOWN, and then L1 that f*cker ..if you know what I mean.

  35. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing.

  36. Posted by Tito | August 6, 2010 at 3:52 PM

    You could build a row of condo’s on that forehead

  37. Posted by InfiniteGuest | August 6, 2010 at 3:54 PM

    @34 (Hank Moody) Right, L2, L2, Down, L2, Up, Up, L2, R2

  38. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    yeah someone throw her a bone

  39. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    @38, when she bent over Rover took over and now she has a bone of her own….BADA BING!

  40. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:01 PM


  41. Posted by FKA LA | August 6, 2010 at 4:03 PM

    35 made my day.

  42. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    BS – all you guys saying she is a woofer are the same guys hoping she’d come home with you as she’s grinding your crotch.

  43. Posted by Pmco | August 6, 2010 at 4:10 PM

    Maybe LVP can use her as point woman for questions on spinoffs and Volker rule. Just think of the bond she and Gasbag might have. It could be endlessly entertaining.

  44. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    Found a NSFW video of hers:

  45. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    Stripping with a bachelors degree, the new killing it.

  46. Posted by Anonymous | August 6, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    Tits on a camel stick

  47. Posted by langco | August 6, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    goldman should give her stockholders money like they used to pay the government!

  48. Posted by Anal_yst | August 6, 2010 at 4:29 PM


    If we’re using the binary system (really the only one that matters, if we’re honest), then sure, I’d hit it, lights dimmed, in the arse

  49. Posted by al | August 6, 2010 at 4:45 PM

    stripper? it could worse she could end up as a “journalist” in Bloomberg

  50. Posted by Riley Escobar | August 6, 2010 at 5:00 PM

    Women are the rake

  51. Posted by Jimmy | August 6, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    No mention of white board markers?

  52. Posted by titzonastick | August 6, 2010 at 9:09 PM

    Anybody got first year bonus numbers for Lido Cabaret?

  53. Posted by avantup | August 6, 2010 at 10:43 PM

    I think you lost what is going on here. It’s not just about one person, there are other things at play here. Lets keep in mind young lives are being affected by a educational system that claims that they have a students interests at heart, for a price.

    Like you say its your call, but don’t forget what if it was your daughter or son. How would you handle it.

  54. Posted by lilLo | August 7, 2010 at 2:41 AM

    99.9% of things in US are over priced. 5+ a beer, 70000 a useless degree (yeah go striping). We white collars are all f*ed.

  55. Posted by zeus | August 7, 2010 at 5:55 PM

    Why don’t you rich bastards zip your lip, and do something about this, and go to the and sign the petition that is going to the US department of education. Help stop garbage like this from happening to young kids just starting their lives.

  56. Posted by anon | August 8, 2010 at 8:24 AM

    @55 I’d petition to shove it up yours. higher ed is generally overrated and overblown. that’s one thing students should’ve learned in class (that is, if the drunken brads paid any attention).

  57. Posted by anon | August 8, 2010 at 8:43 AM

    hey “alone, scared, pain, hate” misfits, you don’t actually need a degree to spell the President’s name right, right!?? or do you….

  58. Posted by Andrew | August 8, 2010 at 10:49 AM

    It’s funny. When handing over such astronomical sums, people should first do research on whether or not the institution is highly accredited and worth your time. Americans and Canadians make a stupid mistake and blame everyone else for it. Why are we like this?

  59. Posted by roy | August 8, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    as far as i know The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale clearly states that they prepare their students for “entry level” and she got an “entry level”, and she lost it. maybe she lacking personal quality to be employed (other than a stripper) Education is not all what need to be employed there are other things as well and those who are lacking this ” other things” would never say “i am lacking moral and personal qualities to succeed and the blame school and of course ( whom else/) Goldman sacks

  60. Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    @56 This the same garbage being spewed on DI being posted under the name Carianne Horward. Same link as above.

  61. Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2010 at 11:12 PM

    Sorry, correct link.

    Carrianne, allegedly, starts commenting on page 4

  62. Posted by derivative deviant | August 9, 2010 at 9:40 AM

    @26 – Wedding crashers.

    At rest… why are you bothering with this pikey slore.. its her fault, she needs to learn from Debrahlee , “teets en a steek essay”… “joo no wha I meen compadre?”

  63. Posted by Anonymous | August 9, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    in the USSR we’d all be blaming her for this

  64. Posted by Carrianne Howard | August 11, 2010 at 7:17 PM

    Hey Everyone,

    I just posted a new youtube video commentary.

    Here is the link:

    Be Well,
    Carrianne Howard

  65. Posted by Carrianne Howard | August 20, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    Hey Everyone,

    Just posted another new video.

    I thought you might want to see this.

    I hope you have a good weekend!
    Be Well,