How Should Goldman Sachs Pay Back The Stripper It Screwed?

Meet Carrianne Howard. She’s the woman pictured at left in red. Some of you may not recognize her but if we took away the dress and diploma, that’d probably jog the memories of those who’ve spent time at the Lido Cabaret, a topless club in Cocoa Beach, Florida. That’s where the 26 year-old now works, for $400 to $1,000 a week, where she landed after a stint doing “adult web chats.”

It’s not the career trajectory Howard, 26, envisioned for herself, when she enrolled at the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, and had her parents plunked down $70,000 in tuition and fees for her to earn a bachelor’s degree in game and art design and, per usual, there’s one person or group of persons to blame. Goldman Sachs.

The bank owns 38 percent of the Art Institute’s parent, Education Management Corp., and according to the latest issue of Bloomberg Markets Magazine, that’s reason enough to make the leap in logic that Howard’s life of stripping (and her parents’ current financial struggles– they sold their home to pay for their daughter’s schooling at a time when neither of them had jobs) is Goldman’s fault. Don’t ask me for reasoning, it just is, okay? They (partially) own the school, so the fact that Howard graduated in December 2007, got a job from which she was later laid off and had to take up the pole to pay the bills is Goldman’s doing. To that end, how are Lloyd et al going to make this right? They put the girl in this situation, basically, and unless they want to suffer any more bad press, they’re going to throw her some sort of bone. Should they:

a) Require that all client meetings to take place at said titty bar, with generous tips going towards CH.

b) Put her through business school (“Howard now hopes to save enough to go back to college and get a business degree”) and maybe have LB writer her a rec for HBS

c) Offer her a gig as co-head of GSAM

d) Show her they get it, that they understand, that they know what she’s going through (women love that stuff) by having Lloyd come down to Florida and walk a mile in her shoes for a week

e) Your call

Stripper Finds Degree Profitable for Goldman Wasn’t Worth It

(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

65 Responses to “How Should Goldman Sachs Pay Back The Stripper It Screwed?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    e: a,b and c. She looks older than 26!

  2. I pissed on one of the statues in the Ron Jon’s parking lot while I was on my way south to the Lido Cabaret a few months ago.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale > Harvard Extension > Yale SOM

  4. Anonymous says:

    uhh.. she’s not 43?

  5. Anonymouse says:

    AI of FL > HES > CFA > MBA

  6. NakedShort says:

    Fact. She crop dusts the stage during her first song.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Ultimately it is Obama’s fault.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Lido Cabaret is the UBS of strip clubs
    Beamers MD

  9. Anonymous says:

    Me thinks her breasts my be 26, but the rest o’ that chassis gots to be pushin 40.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Anna Nicole Smith worked at Gigi’s on 290 in Houston as well as Rick’s. She met a geezer millionaire at one of the clubs (as well as a Playboy talent scout) because she was “thick” and the management of Gigi’s made her work days as a result. There she met J. Howard Marshall and the rest is history.

    The girl in the story just isn’t working “it”.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Ogle School of Hair, Skin and Nails > Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale.


  12. Anonymous says:

    She looks the tranny that always gets punched in the face outside of a certain tavern every Thursday.

  13. John says:

    Please, we had to be publicly shamed into taking care of kittens. You think we’re going to pony up to support a stripper?

  14. WalMart Shopper says:

    EDMC down over 9% on this story.

  15. Jag says:

    $400-$1000 a week? That must be one lousy strip joint! AARP endorsed?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Dear Howard Famiy,

    If it makes you feel any better, the people who bought your house were foreclosed on, and Goldman engineered and sold the CDO in which their mortgage was bundled, then shorted it, making a profit on both ends. Hope this helps.


    Lloyd Blankfein

  17. Tax.Chick says:

    Just give her some Charlie Gasparino. Everybody needs some. That will keep her busy for years.

  18. Anonymous says:

    why am i still in the office?

  19. client 9 says:

    more importantly, how is GS is going to make it up to me for giving my life savings to that televangelist, and for stubbing my toe this morning.

  20. al says:

    ‘I was an Ivy League prostitute.’ (confessions of a college hooker)Read more:
    where is outrage with this story/ if it is ivy league hooker it is OK?

  21. Anonymous says:

    Why is a sweaty lipped Italian guy screaming and attacking me with his cock?

    /Sent via CNBC locker room emergency phone

  22. Pointing out the obvious says:

    Bess, similar to the assistance you provided Beamers, perhaps you could hook her up with an apprenticeship with Geoffrey Raymond, the most fabulous artist of our time?

  23. Anonymous says:

    She might have a pretty fair rack on her.

    ~Guy who is squinting so hard at that pic he’s getting a headache.

  24. Anonymous says:

    @23 = Philip Jung

  25. Anonymous says:

    I would bang her six ways to Sunday

    ~Guy who likes blurting out random cliches on a Friday afternoon when the market is in the proverbial shitter

  26. Anonymous says:

    Are they built for speed or comfort?
    What’d you do with them? Motorboat?
    You play the motorboat?
    You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you!

  27. Anonymous says:

    Anyone who’s ever been to Cocoa Beach knows that all the action goes down at the Inner Room…not the hole where this skank works…

  28. Jag says:

    @23 She has a bad marketing strategy, the diploma must hang below the rackspace!

  29. Anonymous says:

    Lloyd looks great with makeup and a wig! Who would’a thunk it!

  30. Anonymous says:

    @24 made my day.

  31. WalMart Shopper says:

    In the story, but I’ll make it easy. She’s on at 0:45

  32. Nacho says:

    Lame story. Looks like a dude and has the forehead of a watermelon. Would rather take that Lorenzanalee to Applebees later today.

  33. Anal_yst says:

    She could rent out that massive expanse that is her forehead for billboard ads and such…

  34. Hank Moody says:

    She can design me a game anytime and I’ll RIGHT, R2, UP, UP, R2, CIRCLE, SQUARE, R2, L1, RIGHT, DOWN, and then L1 that f*cker ..if you know what I mean.

  35. Anonymous says:

    Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing.

  36. Tito says:

    You could build a row of condo’s on that forehead

  37. @34 (Hank Moody) Right, L2, L2, Down, L2, Up, Up, L2, R2

  38. Anonymous says:

    yeah someone throw her a bone

  39. Anonymous says:

    @38, when she bent over Rover took over and now she has a bone of her own….BADA BING!

  40. Anonymous says:


  41. FKA LA says:

    35 made my day.

  42. Anonymous says:

    BS – all you guys saying she is a woofer are the same guys hoping she’d come home with you as she’s grinding your crotch.

  43. Pmco says:

    Maybe LVP can use her as point woman for questions on spinoffs and Volker rule. Just think of the bond she and Gasbag might have. It could be endlessly entertaining.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Found a NSFW video of hers:

  45. Anonymous says:

    Stripping with a bachelors degree, the new killing it.

  46. Anonymous says:

    Tits on a camel stick

  47. langco says:

    goldman should give her stockholders money like they used to pay the government!

  48. Anal_yst says:


    If we’re using the binary system (really the only one that matters, if we’re honest), then sure, I’d hit it, lights dimmed, in the arse

  49. al says:

    stripper? it could worse she could end up as a “journalist” in Bloomberg

  50. Riley Escobar says:

    Women are the rake

  51. Jimmy says:

    No mention of white board markers?

  52. titzonastick says:

    Anybody got first year bonus numbers for Lido Cabaret?

  53. avantup says:

    I think you lost what is going on here. It’s not just about one person, there are other things at play here. Lets keep in mind young lives are being affected by a educational system that claims that they have a students interests at heart, for a price.

    Like you say its your call, but don’t forget what if it was your daughter or son. How would you handle it.

  54. lilLo says:

    99.9% of things in US are over priced. 5+ a beer, 70000 a useless degree (yeah go striping). We white collars are all f*ed.

  55. zeus says:

    Why don’t you rich bastards zip your lip, and do something about this, and go to the and sign the petition that is going to the US department of education. Help stop garbage like this from happening to young kids just starting their lives.

  56. anon says:

    @55 I’d petition to shove it up yours. higher ed is generally overrated and overblown. that’s one thing students should’ve learned in class (that is, if the drunken brads paid any attention).

  57. anon says:

    hey “alone, scared, pain, hate” misfits, you don’t actually need a degree to spell the President’s name right, right!?? or do you….

  58. Andrew says:

    It’s funny. When handing over such astronomical sums, people should first do research on whether or not the institution is highly accredited and worth your time. Americans and Canadians make a stupid mistake and blame everyone else for it. Why are we like this?

  59. roy says:

    as far as i know The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale clearly states that they prepare their students for “entry level” and she got an “entry level”, and she lost it. maybe she lacking personal quality to be employed (other than a stripper) Education is not all what need to be employed there are other things as well and those who are lacking this ” other things” would never say “i am lacking moral and personal qualities to succeed and the blame school and of course ( whom else/) Goldman sacks

  60. Anonymous says:

    @56 This the same garbage being spewed on DI being posted under the name Carianne Horward. Same link as above.

  61. Anonymous says:

    Sorry, correct link.

    Carrianne, allegedly, starts commenting on page 4

  62. derivative deviant says:

    @26 – Wedding crashers.

    At rest… why are you bothering with this pikey slore.. its her fault, she needs to learn from Debrahlee , “teets en a steek essay”… “joo no wha I meen compadre?”

  63. Anonymous says:

    in the USSR we’d all be blaming her for this

  64. Hey Everyone,

    I just posted a new youtube video commentary.

    Here is the link:

    Be Well,
    Carrianne Howard

  65. Hey Everyone,

    Just posted another new video.

    I thought you might want to see this.

    I hope you have a good weekend!
    Be Well,