Bloomberg reports the firm “told traders who bet on commodities for the firm’s account that their unit will be closed as the company begins to shut down all its proprietary trading” and will “eventually end all proprietary trading to comply with new curbs on investment banks.” In July JPM axed about 40 prop traders and earlier this month, Blythe Masters told the commodities unit to calm the fuck down, assuring them that “no one’s going to get screwed. We’re not going to do crazy things on compensation at the end of the year.”
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Grab your ankles girls…
–Citi Quant
So who’s going to trade those $100 quadrillion notional in outstanding derivatives….
I am getting fired right before year end. Severance will be two pounds of onions served diced by the Onion King.
Other than that, I have no concerns.
Well, technically he wasn’t lying because they really aren’t doing anything crazy to compensation *at year end*
define prop desk pls
It’s going to take me a while to unwind all my Onion Backed Securities. The Onion King is really killing liquidity with his huge positions.
This aggression will not stand, man.
It just so happens that I’m a market maker in onions. esp the white, red and shallots.
just call them the ‘principal investing arm’ and all is good
This is awesome, all these shut down prop trading desks will turn into a few thousand hedge funds and it’ll be bottle service and bitches times again. Or, we all join the management program at Macy’s
Corporate tard Jamie Dimon kicked out bunch of good traders who risk their health making bets in this shitty enviroment.
Do you know Jamie Dumbon what it means to trade? Buy,buy,buy,buy,sell,sell,sell,sell!
The only thing that bought making your own bet is sex, the only thing that you sold is your fagot ass
Jim Huang,
So much anger in the final post. Don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming. All banks have some plans in the works regarding their prop desks. I think GS and MS are still trying to find a way of keeping them in-house without falling foul of the Volcker rule by moving their traders to Europe. Deutsche is pretty far down the road in moving traders out of the bank but keeping them in the orbit. JPM…………………..dunno, I still wonder what they paid for in the Sempra deal. What are CS and UBS doing?
Jamie has disliked prop trading since his Smith Barney days
JPM had prop desks? who knew.
Is that 2 Billion short onions, or 4 Billion long?
-Barclay’s Quant
Only screwing Blythe is going to be doing is with Jamie…he’s been tappin that on the side since the B1 merger.
JPM is the fucking rake
wow….what does this mean for RBS? the whole place is a prop desk…..