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No One Is A Bigger Alcoholic “Bimbus” Than Lindsay Lohan, Says Lohan’s Lawyer, Ergo, She Is Clearly The Milkaholic Bimbus Baby In The E*Trade Commercial

Back in March, Lindsay Lohan filed a suit against E*Trade, claiming that the baby in the brokerage’s latest commercial was based on her life. Lohan came to this conclusion because the character’s name is Lindsay, she’s referred to as a “milk-a-holic,” and there’s a suggestion that the young one is a man-stealing tramp (she also claimed that though the name “Lohan” is never mentioned, she’s attained first name recognition. Plus, the stuff about the baby being a strung out slut). For the grave offense, Lohan demanded the spots pulled, and $100 million for the emotional distress they caused her. At the time, E*Trade said the bitch be crazy, and claimed that they used the name Lindsay because it’s “a popular baby name” and not because they were trying to insinuate that Lohan is some sort of strung out whore (baby). They also shot back that Lindsay does not have “one name” recognition like “Madonna” or “RuPaul” or “Lloyd,” and that the commercial could have been about any one of the 250,000 people named Lindsay in the U.S. Lohan’s lawyers recently responded. First, her attorneys would like to make clear, the issue isn’t “how many people in the USA are with the name ‘Lindsay’,” the issue is “how many celebrities are with this name ‘Lindsay’ in the USA, and then in the context, manner, characterization, persona.” For instance, when you take the name “Tiger” and put it in the context of golf or proclivity skanky ass bitches, it’s obvious you’re talking about Tiger Woods. To that end, it’s apparently patently obvious that when you have the name “Lindsay” in the context of an alcoholic “bimbus” (the lawyer’s words), we’re talking about Lindsay Lohan.

The brief then goes into a “process of elimination” among Lindsay Lohan, Lindsey Vonn, Lindsay Davenport and the two other Lindsay actresses: “The type of a particular role and persona, the role of an alcoholic bimbus woman, that Defendants were looking for in their said commercial, none of the other celebrity “Lindsay” as referred by Defendants … fits into.”

Essentially, [the lawyer] says that none of the other famous Lindsays are considered alcoholic bimbuses (bimbi?) like her client is. As proof, the brief cites tabloid headlines like RadarOnline’s “Whoops! Kate Hudson Almost Does A ‘Lindsay'”

Lindsay Lohan’s E-Trade Suit Enters Odd Phase [Reuters]

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36 Responses to “No One Is A Bigger Alcoholic “Bimbus” Than Lindsay Lohan, Says Lohan’s Lawyer, Ergo, She Is Clearly The Milkaholic Bimbus Baby In The E*Trade Commercial”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Whoops! Lloyd almost does a “Lindsay”!

  2. Lohan says:

    Best rack in the biz

  3. Anonymous says:

    Not with a dozen condoms on.

    Sure is nice to look at though.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Those fun bags never get old.
    SAC

  5. Anonymous says:

    @3 Easy to say now. That standing naked in your doorway might change your mind in under 38 milliseconds.

  6. Definitely a certain je ne sais quoi*.

  7. MisterB says:

    You portrayed my client as a whore; a bimbus; and referenced her alcoholism so we want $100 million.

    Other than that, I have no concerns.

  8. Louis Winthorpe III says:

    I don’t care what anybody says– lights on, over the covers, preferably post-line.

  9. Anonymous says:

    She is a slut. Bat shit crazy. Chomps carpet. Hot as hell. Addicted to drugs and booze. And a real red head. What is not to like?

  10. Anonymous says:

    She got out of rehab faster than it takes this site to load. WTF Beth?
    Cliff

  11. Anonymous says:

    I would rather be attacked by a pack of wild BONOBOS!

  12. Jagson says:

    Nice rack, I wouldn’t mind sloppy moments with her.

  13. Anonymous says:

    @9 – dead on!

  14. Anonymous says:

    She doesn’t like cocaine, she just likes the way that it smells.

  15. Anonymous says:

    @5 – you got that right!

  16. plang1 says:

    the poster girl for trailer trash magazine…

  17. Bike says:

    If her attorneys are so concerned about her name & persona; why are they not advising her to do a “Michael Jackson”. Certainly that would be a career move that would greatly enhance the value of her estate and provide said attorneys with a nice little lifetime annuity. Obviously the people advising her are morons for letting her miss that opportunity.

  18. Anonymous says:

    if that logic holds then i should be suing eldrick for $100 billion dollars

    tony

  19. Anonymous says:

    Lights on, Bonobos off…

  20. Bess Levin says:

    @bike- would pulling an MJ entail:

    – OD’ing
    – changing her race
    – striking up a friendship with Macaulay Culkin?

  21. Back Office Sales says:

    @10 – who the fuck is Beth?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beth_levin

  22. Anonymous says:

    @21 Your name suits you well

    Can someone find the cabbie stabber and direct him to the stitching below Lilo’s neckline?

  23. Anonymous says:

    @18 not bad

  24. Anonymous says:

    I still mostly rely on Parent Trap-era Lindsay Lohan for my masturbatory needs.

  25. Anonymous says:

    She makes my plums ache

  26. Plrbear_1999 says:

    Love that whore. Oh yeah, first!!!!!!!

  27. Jan says:

    glug glug

  28. Bros Icing says:

    where are all the old comments…this site sucks.

  29. Bros Icing says:

    “blog comments powered by Disqus”

    other than that, I have no concerns

    this story had some of the best commentary i have seen on the site – went to send it to a friend, and noticed they were gone…NBD

  30. Anonymous says:

    The old comments are being imported over. As there are hundreds of thousands of comments, it takes a little while. If your friend comes to this post tonight the old comments will be back.

  31. Anonymous says:

    The old comments are being imported over. As there are hundreds of thousands of comments, it takes a little while. If your friend comes to this post tonight the old comments will be back.

  32. Krystina says:

    bimbi. bahahahaha love you, Bess

  33. moneyhungrylawyer says:

    I don’t know if anyone else feels that way – but watched that E-trade commercial – and think ole-Lindsay has a point. Bet she will get some $$ out of it

  34. Guest says:

    SIDE BOOB