Her LinkedIn profile claims the former Barclays employee-cum-Russian Spyshe’s “full of self-control” but that doesn’t exactly seem to be the case. Everyone’s favorite Ruskie (whose fan base includes Dr. Doom, the Oracle of O and the man, the myth, the legend, the grand high poobah of it all, Cookie Monster himself) has been sued by Russia’s Heat magazine. And for what? Unauthorized flashing of ass, which the Eastern Europeans do not look kindly on.

Apparently Chapman posed for an upcoming spread in the glossy this week and despite being expressly told to keep the photos, such as the one at right, under wraps, couldn’t help herself and posted them to Facebook. Once word got back to the little lady that she was in some serious trouble she deleted the pics and informed her friends and followers that they’d be in some serious trouble were they distributed as opposed to just being used for Russian spy fantasy fodder, or as a supplement to Ass Traffic: Volume 9. Anywho. Here’s a behind the scenes clip of the shoot, for any lonely economists missing AC.

Ex-Russian Spy Anna Chapman Doesn’t Want You To See These Photos, Wink Wink [AMNY via Gawker]

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Comments (51)

  1. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2010 at 2:36 PM

    I’d tax that ass like the IRS.

  2. Posted by Sauceness | August 27, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    Anyone else hear Mark Haines’ attempt at an Australian accent this morning? Might have been the most painful 3 minutes in television history. How is this guy employed?

  3. Posted by Sauceness | August 27, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    Anyone else hear Mark Haines’ attempt at an Australian accent this morning? Might have been the most painful 3 minutes in television history. How is this guy employed?

  4. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    I buy. Take it and bid it.

    –Guy who likes Wallstreet quotes today.

  5. Posted by Apocalypse Futures | August 27, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    I would with the lights on and Vladimir Putin in the corner snapping photos for Anna’s facebook profile

  6. Posted by Apocalypse Futures | August 27, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    I would with the lights on and Vladimir Putin in the corner snapping photos for Anna’s facebook profile

  7. Posted by guestosaurus | August 27, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    “it moved”

  8. Posted by Choadely Willard | August 27, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    It moved and is still moving.

  9. Posted by Choadely Willard | August 27, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    It moved and is still moving.

  10. Posted by hedgehog | August 27, 2010 at 2:50 PM

    SLORE!

  11. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | August 27, 2010 at 2:53 PM

    Well, when I put on heels, a form-fitting dress, bend halfway over while arching my back in the opposite direction, and have the porno photographer shooting at all the right angles, my ass doesn’t look half bad either.

  12. Posted by guestosaurus | August 27, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    pics or it didn’t happen

  13. Posted by guestosaurus | August 27, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    pics or it didn’t happen

  14. Posted by NakedShort | August 27, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    Prove it!!!!!!

  15. Posted by Anonymous | August 27, 2010 at 3:00 PM

    Was this an actual thing he was doing i.e. announced he’d be speaking w an aussie accent today? please say yes.

  16. Posted by Anonymous | August 27, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    That is a bubble ass of epic proportions.

  17. Posted by Guest | August 27, 2010 at 3:02 PM

    55 minutes and no “soviet russia” jokes, that has to be a new record.

    Other than that, I have no concerns.

  18. Posted by InfiniteGuest | August 27, 2010 at 3:13 PM

    Could play Beirut on that.

  19. Posted by Choadely Willard | August 27, 2010 at 3:13 PM

    He was trying to be funny and was failing miserably. Very uncomfortable to watch.

  20. Posted by Chocolateman8823 | August 27, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    i have a chubby

  21. Posted by guestosaurus | August 27, 2010 at 3:20 PM

    more like a boxing kangaroo cought under a bedsheet

  22. Posted by Anonymous | August 27, 2010 at 3:21 PM

    can’t think, peepee standing up

  23. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | August 27, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    I’m just saying, an appeal to temperance here, that, while her ass is nice, and I would probably not even have to be drunk to hit it, her ass is certainly not in the top 10 or 15 percent, given a normal distribution, and I would seriously question someone’s sanity that would consider that to be a truly “epic” ass, and I would certainly, at least, wonder how one could think so given the ten trillion truly epic asses available with a cursory Google search.

    -greg williams’s sentence-structure-protege

  24. Posted by J Farley | August 27, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    What a bimbus.

  25. Posted by ChicagoChick | August 27, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    Yeah XOPD! ass or GTFO

  26. Posted by UBC | August 27, 2010 at 3:38 PM

    Bess: Do we have any vids with less clothing? Thanks.

  27. Posted by Choadely Willard | August 27, 2010 at 3:39 PM

    Kouwe, you didn’t really right all of those words, did you? Come on, you can tell old Choadely!

  28. Posted by BackOfficeSales | August 27, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    In Soviet Russia, former Barclays employee-cum-Russian Spyshes get cummed by Russian Spyhes

  29. Posted by JagFalcon1313 | August 27, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    Spy business is more and more appealing to me! Does anyone have bonus info?

  30. Posted by Anonymous | August 27, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    Circa what time?

  31. Posted by Assume the position | August 27, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    In Soviet Russia, resume is your ass.

  32. Posted by ExtraOrdinaryPopularDelusions | August 27, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    In the essence of speed, it’s possible I didn’t properly attribute every last word. It’s not like it’s an investigative piece.

  33. Posted by guest | August 27, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    I think I get what you’re saying. It’s a good ass….. but it is certianly not world class. She’s a decent looking girl who maybe get’s a spy premium. However…. still would sans alcohol.

  34. Posted by Guest567w | August 27, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    A touch of photoshop makes you look like Quasimodo sat on yo’azz.

  35. Posted by Anonymously | August 27, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    the best “in soviet russia” comment of all time

  36. Posted by Jennifer Italia | August 27, 2010 at 4:00 PM

    I’ll bet Anal_yst slept with her while she was in the U.S.

  37. Posted by Guest of a Guest | August 27, 2010 at 4:03 PM

    I do, but if I told you I’d have to kill you.

  38. Posted by Anonymousse | August 27, 2010 at 4:05 PM

    When is Mark Haines not uncomfortable to watch?

  39. Posted by Choadely Willard | August 27, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    Bessar, I wanna say like 9:30ish, but I am not a morning person so don’t take that as gospel.

  40. Posted by BackOfficeSales | August 27, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    so hurt right now

  41. Posted by Choadely Willard | August 27, 2010 at 4:24 PM

    That video needs a couple of Shake-Weights and less clothing.

  42. Posted by Anonymous | August 27, 2010 at 4:43 PM

    As I was standing on the corner of Christopher Street and Washington, a young bird by the name of Anna approached me one day. She looked just like in the picture, except that she was black, which I attributed to the lack of photoshop.

    Anna told me if I had some use for 250lbs. I told her “I bench 250lbs”. She was impressed. She then proceeded to bend halfway over while arching her back in the opposite direction. I knew what that meant. I lifted her left cheek, then the right one. That was no 125lbs. I estimate each cheek at least 150lbs, a personal record. I did my deed, then handed over a $50. She reminded me I could get herpes only once and graciously climbed into the back seat of a black SUV.

  43. Posted by NotAGuest | August 27, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    In Soviet Russia, that is where Anna be.

  44. Posted by NotAGuest | August 27, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    In Soviet Russia, that is where Anna be.

  45. Posted by WSJevons | August 27, 2010 at 5:54 PM

    I implore you to follow BL’s link over to CBS and watch the video. It is indeed in the top 10%.

  46. Posted by Von Sloneker | August 27, 2010 at 6:14 PM

    Over under on Russian Playboy shoot?

  47. Posted by Landey | August 27, 2010 at 6:19 PM

    Ugh. White bra and Hanes Her Way panty lines? Don’t ever come back to my country.

  48. Posted by NKVD1938 | August 27, 2010 at 7:30 PM

    In Soviet Russia, we call her “грязная шлюха.”

    And there is NO WAY WHATSOEVER that my boy Bad Vlad did NOT hit that.

  49. Posted by guest | August 27, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    In Russian Sexy Ass Photograph YOU!

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