Some People Less Amped About Zoe Cruz’s New Hedge Fund Than Others

As previously mentioned, against all odds, Zoe Cruz has officially started her own firm. They said she could no longer hustle, that people would be turned off by certain unfortunate “stuff” that occurred on her watch at Morgan Stanley but surprise! In the last nine months, the Missile raised $200 million for Voras Capital Management, which is the name of “a mountainous area near the town in Greece Cruz was born,” and is comprised of two separate funds (one, a credit opportunities fund run by former MS exec Ellen Brunsberg, the other a global macro fund run by the lady of the hour). How has the investing community taken to the news?

One might say the reactions have been a bit mixed. On the one hand, you have the group that is nothing short of psyched by the news that people aren’t so narrow-minded that they’ll hear “responsible for billions in losses” and get turned off to the notion of handing over their money to you, led by John Meriwether. On the other, there are some who are less pleased, such as the hedge fund manager we spoke to this morning who fumed that this is “outrageous” and that he has approached Morgan Stanley about purchasing a derivative security to synthetically short the performance of Cruz’s fund. He’s yet to hear back from them, but being deadly serious about the idea, if there are any enterprising prime brokerages out there who want to set this thing up, do give us a buzz and we’ll put you in touch.

(hidden for your protection)
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117 Responses to “Some People Less Amped About Zoe Cruz’s New Hedge Fund Than Others”

  1. PermaGuest says:

    How do you pronounce Voras? Like “For Ass”?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Short Pussy, Always.

  3. Anonymous says:

    In Soviet Russia, Hedge Funds start Zoe Cruz

  4. Anonymous says:

    Something about “hedge funds” , “raising money” and use of the term “Greek” in that article just creates too many inappropriate visuals to me.

  5. CMBS 4-Life says:

    i bet she drives an acura

  6. Anonymous says:

    I was born in the mountainous areas of Tennessee.

    -Dolly Parton

  7. Didn’t Kramer write for New York Mag?

  8. Anonymous says:

    all women? what are they about to do, invest in shitty sparkling wine futures, the oprah book club membership dues, and the box office returns of “eat, love, pray”?

    where the f*** is patrick bateman when you need him?

  9. Anonymous says:

    …..and I heard a voice say “Zuul”!

  10. Bess Levin says:

    @8 ” Cruz has hired a number of former Morgan Stanley staff, including Philip Newcomb, who was co-head of interest rates and currencies. He is chief operating officer at Voras in New York.

    In London Voras has hired David Irving, who was co-head of the European mortgage trading desk at Morgan Stanley, and Justin Worrall, who ran the bank’s European residential mortgage-backed securities structuring and analytics group. The pair had previously set up a boutique advisory firm together called Tenbank.

    The Hong Kong office is led by Jialin Liu, who previously ran Morgan Stanley’s Asian sales and trading business. “

  11. Anonymous says:

    @bess, asian men are the same as women, 8 was correct.

  12. CMBS 4-Life says:

    what are the minimums for this pig? and question number two…will they be launching an ESG/SRI strat? That would super duper cool!

  13. american bandersnatch says:

    Don’t get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they shouldn’t be running a hedge fund. It is investment professional, not investwoment professional. And that is a scientific fact

  14. Anonymous says:

    @3 at what point is this joke deader than the body i made love to last night?

  15. Anonymous says:

    She won’t be taken seriously until she sports a 3 foot anal bead tail.

    /Guy who has already made it

  16. Anonymous says:

    @11 “Newcomb” “Irving” “Worrall”

  17. Anonymous says:

    @11 hell yes.


  18. PermaGuest says:

    @10/BL- Any clue if any of these guys/gals actually ran money before, or are they all sales/trading types? Not necessarily skill sets that transfer (see: Ralph Cioffi & Matthew Tannin)

  19. Anonymous says:

    So the most powerful woman on wall street is either an executive assistant, madam, or pr person. Right? Am I right?

    -An Ass

  20. LEH Quant says:

    Ground Zero Mosque ≥ Zoe Cruz

  21. american bandersnatch says:

    @19 – Dominatrix, just ask Pandito

  22. anon says:

    @19 most powerful woman on wall street = BL

  23. Anonymous says:


    sorry, my bad. should have read the article before dropping chauvinism bombs.

    btw, Here’s a photo of Philip Newcomb in the office with his new team. they’re getting along great, Philip’s personal jewelry collection can even be seen on the far right.

  24. Kosta says:

    @18 – yes a few decent PMs were hired (non-MS types). Zoe probably called in all sorts of favors to get this thing going and now the question is do they have the buyside experience to know how to raise more assets or will they make the “smart” play and just hire some pretty young female IR hack? They’re overweight MS culture and we all know what kind of hubris and blunders that can create…I’m not a buyer…

  25. Anonymous says:

    The most powerful woman on Wall St is Maria from CNBC. Every time I see her on the trading floor when I’m in NY, I tell my colleagues, “it moved”.

  26. JWM says:

    Hey – that hurts! Also, our models show that the third time’s a charm.

  27. CMBS 4-Life says:


  28. Anonymous says:

    @14 something tells me thats the point

  29. Anonymous says:

    @13 – Nice
    A solid Anchorman quote with a relevant twist shouldn’t go unrecognized for 16 posts.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Never ever work for a woman.

    Women are insecure, do not mentor, make for terrible managers, cannot work in teams or with other women, necessarily prioritize their children’s needs before work, and are disinterested in being politically involved in their employment.

    Have you ever worked for a woman? What was your experience like? Did she go to bat for your team when it came time to lobbying for the bonus pool during committee, or did she simply phone it in, eat emotionally at lunch, swap out a tampon, and then hoof it to Grand Central Station at 5:45 (on the dot)?

  31. Anonymous says:

    “certain unfortunate regrettable “stuff” that occurred ”

    women tend to be cold bitchy insecure

  32. Bess Levin says:

    @31 Tell us what your experience was like.

  33. Anonymous says:

    @31 – I love the phrase “hoof it” – I couldn’t picture using it in a sentence referring to a male.

    @BL/31 – Make sure you offer him a box a tissues and a place to lay down too

  34. Anonymous says:

    @31 hey I have an idea– why don’t you whine about it, you know, like a little bitch? oh. right.

  35. Anonymous says:

    31 has his period.

  36. Anonymous says:

    @31: I’ve worked in Finance since 1992, in all sorts of different roles. (Commercial Banking, Investment Banking, Equity Research, Hedge Fund). I’ve had all types of bosses, male/female, competent/incompetent, sane/crazy.

    Hands down, the craziest bosses I’ve had have been male. One of them was flat-out terrifyingly nuts: he was bipolar, megalomaniacal, and violent. I got away from the guy well before he physically assaulted another Associate. I’ve had issues with female bosses, but none were nearly as bad as the worst 2-3 crazy male bosses.

    That’s one man’s opinion, take from it what you will.

  37. Anonymous says:

    @Bess Levin: I reported to one woman at UBS (fool me once) and later to another woman at Morgan Stanley (fool me twice).

    Never again – I will now only report to unhappily married dull straight males. They fight for comp / drink beer / party.

    In hindsight I can say that both of the aforementioned women were 1) p.c. diversity pushes, 2) disorganized and 3) shitty at their jobs. The first one babbled on constantly about her kids, embarrassed easily, and had horrible gas. The second one was obsessed with her two preemie babies, her house in Scarsdale, and the size of her more than ample dumper (“OMG – no more carbs for this little piggy!).

    Needless to say, neither knew what was really going on in the organization, and neither gave me wood.

  38. There's always a critic says:

    @31 Swap out the tampon and same could be said for many a male boss.

  39. Bike says:

    From the recent photos of Zoe, age has not been kind. That, or she spent way too much time focused on her drinking while she was on the beach.

    Of the $200 Million, how much of that came from the partners in this volcano? How much of it was seed money from MS as part of her exit deal? Even Kim Dow got seed money out of MER after he blew the place up.

  40. guest says:

    31 got a small bonus for shitty performance, blames it on boss being a woman.

  41. Anonymous says:

    Ah yes the ol’ Woman Boss debate.

    Women Managers are (+):
    1) Most helpful in the learning curve process for newbies
    2) Better Bankers
    3) More sympathetic to needs
    4) Easier to interview with – as you need only touch their 4 points of emotion to get the job (I’ll teach you folks Later)

    Women Managers are (-):
    1) More irrational in their thought process
    2) More inclined to hold grudges
    3) Terrible at math-based trading such as option trading
    4) More inclined to follow the rule-book
    5) Terrible at stream-lining anything

    -Guy from Citadel Trading Desk

  42. NakedShort says:

    I work for a woman and can honestly say that my feelings about her ability to manage a business, run money, deal with her bullshit and annoying tendancies, ect. varies greatly depending on what my bonus is.

  43. Bike says:

    @37 My craziest boss was female at MER. She ran the unit sitting outside the building most of the day smoking cigarettes. We had a daily pool guessing what time she would show up for work (pogressive if she was a no show.) I arranged for a friend looking to move an interview with her; they met at a hotel in the city and she shows up with her 9 year old daughter. Would refer to the black employees as “you people.” Once sent us an email inviting all of her reports as a group to go for free PAP exams at company clinic. Thought it would make a great bonding experience for the team.

  44. american bandersnatch says:

    @ Sample size of 2. That’s the kind of database I used in my VAR analysis.

    – 26 / JWM

  45. Anonymous says:

    @ 31

    Women in the finance/trading world come in two flavors bitches and pushovers. No one wants to work for a bitch and pushovers are going to get slaughtered. But don’t call me sexist – I’ve met a few male bitches as well – they’re a third flavor.

  46. Anonymous says:

    @ All

    Here is another piece of advice if you are at a fund – refuse to be covered by a woman salesperson – unless you want to get jammed

    1. they won’t fight for you – they avoid conflict
    2. they trading desk won’t respect them
    3. typically they are fresh out of the training program and have zero juice

  47. ChicagoChick says:

    As a femme boss/manager I can say that yes, I am a raving bitch between 7 and 2 (CST) business to get done (with nothing but contempt for all on cnbc expect Santelli ) then nothing but fun and all my past boys will vouch for me. But rager while my markets are open…my boss calls it “passion”

  48. Anonymous says:

    @48 Tits or GTFO

  49. Anonymous says:

    @37 = A. Tong

  50. ChicagoChick says:

    @49 oooo tits like you wouldnt believe

  51. pmco says:

    Boys, boys, boys: get your heads out of your arses. Some peeps are good managers and some aren’t. Some employees are smart and some aren’t. Gender is irrelevant.
    Gal who is an excellent manager and swears her 38Ds have nothing to do with it

  52. Anonymous says:

    @25 I hope that you aren’t using “it moved” in the traditional sense but rather intending “the earth shook”

  53. Anonymous says:

    Isn’t it John Merriweather?

  54. Anonymous says:

    @48/51 Are you the commenter formerly known as “Blnde Banker”?

  55. Emma Lasry says:

    Posters 1-55: I’ll rape you all. Male or female. Doesn’t even matter if your weiner is asleep.

  56. Anonymous says:

    @ 42- Women are more inclined to hold grudges? Now that’s the funniest thing I heard all day.

    If anything, men are more inclined to a harbour grudge for something petty.

    – Female who works for a predominantly male office

  57. anon says:

    @44…I like the female boss that referred to the blacks as “you people”….NOW she is at least getting somewhere. She is learning the way.

    – Sorry guys, its the truth on the Street

  58. Anonymous says:

    pretty sure that @31 was greg michaels

  59. Anonymous says:

    Erin Callan in back office: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

  60. Denny Deckshoes says:

    @56 FTW

  61. FmrGldmn says:

    @58 yeah, “the way” to a lawsuit or demotion. Reminds me of a boss who thought he could talk smack about all sorts of people, UNTIL he got a boss who was a minority and overheard him. He didn’t last long after that

    -the truth has changed

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