Steven Slater: Someone Hire The Guy

As you’re extremely aware, the alternative asset management biz is known for attracting both the brightest minds and also those with the quirkiest of personalities. The most successful individuals have both these traits. Generally, we hear about these people’s formidable market savvy first and it’s not until after they’ve made their firm billions that the demonstrations of quirk come out. But why not do it in reverse order? What I’m saying is, based on his performance today, it seems obvious that Steven Slater probably has some serious investing prowess up his sleeve, and now that he’s looking for a new industry with which to get involved, someone ought snap him up fast.

A crazed JetBlue flight attendant who lost his cool after a flight from Pittsburgh landed at JFK Airport today hurled obscenities at passengers over the airliner’s public address system and then deployed the emergency chute to make a dramatic escape.

Steven Slater, the attendant-turned-wingnut, dashed from the tarmac to his silver Jeep Wrangler parked in an employee lot and raced home to Belle Harbor, where he was arrested by Port Authority cops.

The meltdown was preceded by an argument with a passenger, who sources said told Slater “to f— off” after being told by Slater not to remove baggage from the overhead compartment. The passenger insisted on opening the overhead compartment, hitting Slater in the head with the door as it dropped down. After the plane landed and pulled up to Gate 3 at the JetBlue terminal, and as passengers began moving to the door, sources said Slater got on the public address system and launched into a tirade.

“To the f—-ing ass—- that told me to f— off, it’s been a good 28 years!” Slater bellowed, according to law enforcement sources.

But that wasn’t the end of it. In a move fitting for an action flick, Slater grabs a can of beer from the airline galley then pops the lever for the airliner’s inflatable chute and slides down to the tarmac outside the terminal door.

Friends of Slater’s in his beachfront Belle Harbor neighborhood were shocked to hear about the incident. “I can’t believe Steve’s on the run,” said Bruce Babasso, 65. “He’s like OJ Simpson. He must have snapped. He must have had the JetBlue blues,” quipped Babasso.

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40 Responses to “Steven Slater: Someone Hire The Guy”

  1. Anonymous says:

    A.C.’s Slater’s Dad?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Nope. Check out the NYPost link… More like Spencer Pratt’s gay brother.

  3. Anonymous says:

    @1 go home.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Slater should hook-up with that guy from TCW (Gerard Finneran) who went crazy on a flight from Argentina years ago and “defecated on a service cart”. Now, THAT would be an interesting flight.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I was going to suggest to Dos Equis that they use this guy/idea in their next ad until I saw the picture of him.

  6. Anonymous says:

    are you sure it’s not Dick Fuld in a Burger King uniform?

  7. Anonymous says:

    This kind of thing happens at Ping Captial all the time. It’s no big deal.

  8. hell yeah says:

    don’t put from ish from no one! way to make an exit. I SALUTE U STEVEN SLATER

  9. In Ping Capital, inflatables slide down you.

  10. Amused says:


    After working for another airlines for 36 years, and watching low class people (most of them in first class) sink lower and lower with manners and behavior every year, I applaud Steve Slater for being fed up! The airlines will not back him, as they are desperate for your money. We are disposable to them, but customers are not and it shows in everything they do. It’s about time someone had enough! Let’s canonize him! I want a tee shirt NOW with him jumping off the slide with his beer can!!

  11. Anonymous says:

    you work at an airline and read dealbreaker?

  12. Anonymous says:

    @9 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH well played sir

  13. Anonymous says:

    The customer was really a recruiter from Goldman. Congratulations, Steve! You’ve made it past the 20th interview round!

  14. Chucky B says:

    “and I said
    forget that
    I do not feel good
    I’ve got the sad sads”

  15. 11,

    That’s so Piper Jaffray-ish of you.

    -Guy That Made It Through The 13th Round Of GS Interviews After Walking To Crown Heights To Get Lloyd Three Quarts of Somalian Breast Milk

  16. Anonymous says:


  17. Anonymous says:

    @4 unfortunately, that hero, has passed on from this life; but his act of greatness will never be forgotten. Bess, can you do a tribute to this great man (happened in the good time 90s)?

  18. Anonymous says:

    David Chappelle @15 FW

  19. I would have made a better exit…

    -j. macke

  20. Anonymous says:

    I just hate how these damn flight attendants that make less in 3 years than my watch costs get off on telling me to turn my iphone off or put my bag under the seat or stop masturbating (frowned upon only, I believe).

  21. Anonymous says:


  22. Anonymous says:

    @20, whoa, masturbating is frowned upon? Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I got on the plane that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve flown on a lot of planes with guys like Ping, Gundlach and Epstein, and I tell you, people do that, and stuff a lot worse involving underage massage girls all the time.

  23. Kareem Abdul Jabar says:

    Steve, Do you like movies about gladiators?

  24. Naked Option Woman says:

    If you remain in Pittsburgh too long, it can have that effect on you.

  25. Anonymous says:

    Steve, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

    – Capt. Oveur

  26. Guest says:

    Now thats the way to quit your job!! This guy is awesome!

  27. Anonymous says:

    This guy is truly an American. When I first read the headline of this, I didn’t think it could get better. But then I heard he grabbed a can of beer from the Galley…that made it even better. This guy is the man.

  28. DJ LIBOR says:

    @20 thanks bin laden

  29. Anonymous says:

    @9 Comment of the day. hahaha.

  30. Anonymous says:

    If I wanted to quit my job as cool as that guy did, what should -I- do?

    -Spoiled 20-something Morgan Stanley analyst who’s never worked a day in his life

  31. A.C. says:

    AC slater’s uncle, see search on “slater”

  32. Mr. Market says:

    Slater is a recovering alcoholic who hadn’t had a drink in years. The fact that he grabbed a beer before sliding down the chute says something.

  33. aimlessjonah says:

    HR now requiring Goldman offices to install inflatable slides on all windows. They’re calling it a perk…pre-pack exit strategy. Also emergency break-glass-and-remove case next to each deployment lever with employee choice of single malt, gin, or Jagermeister. NY offices might substitute coupon for lap dance.

  34. Louis Winthorpe III says:

    He jumped out after the plane landed? Pussy.

    -D.B. Cooper

  35. Anonymouse says:

    Dude better get ready for that cock-meat sandwich.

  36. jdelta99 says:

    Once the chute was deployed, he should have thrown the b**** out the door before sitting in the now vacant seat to enjoy a beer in 1st class as he deserves!

    Good luck Steven!

  37. guest flight attendant says:

    Hey there Anonymous Masturbater: We may make less in 3 years than your watch costs, but something tells me you’ll be looking for one of us to save your sorry ass in an emergency. Your arrogance and ignorance are stellar! Didn’t I have you on a flight yesterday?

  38. Hateflyingwithyou says:

    @20 Aha! You’re the luggage puller that started this whole mess! It’s their job to tell you to turn stuff off, you stupid b****! If you don’t like it, why don’t you just charter your own flight, Mr. Megabucks? Or better yet, stay home and jerk your tiny d*** with your huge “lookey here” watch!?

  39. Anonymous says:

    Emergency chute exits are the new killin’ it.

  40. nicole says:

    If u really wanteed to quit QUIT WHEN THE PLANE IS SAFE DAHHHH DEPLOY A RAFT???? ON A ACTIVE RUNWAY??? How can he expect the public to understand safty, that was the dUmest move!!! Dose anyone know the injurys or damage that slide could have caused???????????????